Complaint

Ian of Maris, probably the first of his name, second son of James and Megan, currently 'at large', found himself staring into the face of a rather displeased lady elf whom was just a bit too fond of shooting humans. To understand the beginning of how such a troublesome event came to take place... Well, it all started shortly after his little confession.

It's admittedly accurate to note that we all make mistakes from time to time. Whether it was Ryan Reynolds playing Hal Jordan in a certain movie, or the wrong soldier in the wrong place at the right time, little decisions can lead to large mistakes. Confessing to an interest in marrying Sunny, of all people, wasn't the smartest thing he'd ever done in this world or the last. Where had that even come from? Heat of the moment? It felt calculated at first but... Why say such a thing?

Worse, she'd responded. He was prepared for rejection. Oh, he went walking straight into that mess with his eyes wide open and still managed to embarrass himself. But! Ah, there was that one little but. But, his plan did work somewhat. Sunny was less watchful of him, sure that even if he should stray he'd return to her. The dwarves were less than keen to remain at his side as well. Then again, he was acting carefree despite a rather spirited assassination attempt.

Well, maybe it was an attempt. Looking back on it, he had to wonder at how serious it had been. Really, looking back, it felt more like he was being herded or separated from the rest of his 'allies'. Add to that those soldiers... They seemed intent on tracking the archer than patrolling, for sure, but he had an almost memory of their leader for a brief second. It hadn't hit him in the moment, but looking back he was sure that man was known to him. Had the boy confronted him, would the knight prove an ally or an enemy?

He got why the dwarves weren't keen on him being found out by other humans. If they returned him, they'd overtly build up the debt his family owed to them while, at the same time, claiming it was due to his rescue of them. And what of the Archer? Had that person known Ian was going to be there, or was it a case of being in the right place at the right time? Or maybe right place wrong time, depending on one's perspective.

The youth casually looked around, finding himself almost alone. He knelt to harvest a bit of a different kind of mint... peppermint, perhaps? He stuffed several leaves in a satchel, planning to dry them tonight. When Ian stood again, he found that he was alone. Eh? Wasn't this too convenient for him? Wait, no, aside from knowing the general direction, Sunny still had something like half of his supplies and most of his rations. If the youth were honest with himself, he'd have to admit, he'd only kept some rations at all because... well, maybe he just wasn't all that willing to place his trust in near-strangers.

If he called out, well, he might not get another chance like this. He frowned, beginning to move in the direction they'd been travelling. That was when it happened. He heard the sound of a branch snap nearby. He snorted, turning as he said, "What took you so long?"

Turning to look, it was all Ian could do not to reveal surprise. Oh, it wasn't whom he was expecting at all. In place of the grouchy dwarf that had misplaced him, or the girl he expected, he found... She was a beautiful woman, about a head taller than himself. She had the most lovely, pale blonde hair he'd ever seen and ice-blue eyes. Unfortunately, the temperature of her eyes matched their color as she was glaring at him rather coldly.

"Eh? What, did I piss in your Wheaties or some-" he began to speak wittily, but the woman moved quickly. She slammed him against the trunk of a tree and covered his mouth with her hand. He felt the curves of the beautiful woman as she pressed him against said foliage, at a complete loss for the first time in ages. Then, because he was able and she hadn't exactly gagged him... he licked her hand.

"Yech," she said disgustedly, taking a step away in reflex and moving to wipe her hand on his pants. In turn the boy pushed her away, glaring up at her.

"And what gives you the right to complain? Hey, when was the last time you washed your hands? Ugh, disgusting." He made a point of spitting to the side, even as she started to rush him. In turn, he draw his family's sword, keeping it between them

"It doesn't have to be like this," she warned him, "Be a good little human and come with me. If you follow instructions, well, I won't have to hurt you."

"Sorry, my dance card is full," he quipped. "Besides, I never really did play well with others. Come on, make a fuss. I dare you. Those freaking dwarves will be here again in no time."

The edge of her mouth turned slightly upwards in an almost smile. "I'm going to have so much fun breaking you, human," she practically purred, eyes narrowing.

"You can't threaten me with a good time, lady," he replied. "So are we done with this? We both know you don't want to deal with Sunny White and the Dwarves of Grumpiness, so why don't you back off a bit? We can chat a little, talk about the weather... you can wash your hands. It's win-win for everyone. Well, mostly for me. Seriously, gross... what is on your hands?"

She continued to stare at him for the longest time. "You... are you really not afraid of me? ME? Don't you know who I am? What I've done to humans?"

"Before my time," he said, smirking a bit. "Or not. Who can say? I don't care, though. Beauty or not, if you insist on a fight I might hurt you a little. You know, on accident. With that personality of yours, it's obvious to me that looks are all you have going for you. Please, don't make me take that away from you."

The silvery laugh that escaped her was enchanting. Seriously, the youth couldn't stop staring at her, but that voice... "I like you human," she said lightly enough, "I will grant you a little more time with your... grumpy friends."

"No need to run off too quickly, is there?" he asked gently, "Come on, let's go somewhere quiet. We can break bread and you can tell me why you seem so interested in little old me." Seeing her raise an eyebrow, he added, "It'll be fun. I guarantee you, I've got some foodstuff you've never eaten before. Hmm?"

"There..." the girl trailed off. Wait... wait, was she blushing? Seriously? What was wrong with these people? "There's a small place nearby, I camp there sometimes. We can talk there for a bit then I can bring you back to your friends."

"To my allies," he corrected sternly. He noticed that she still hadn't drawn a weapon and, blushing, sheathed his sword. "H-how unforgivably rude of me... drawing on a pretty woman just because she scared me... Wait, this is a trap, isn't it?" His hand rested on the pommel of his sword as he watched her, though she hadn't moved. If anything, she seemed slightly more relaxed as her laughter reached him again, albeit mutedly. "I mean really... What kind of trash must I be?"

"Trash? You? Human, you have it all wrong," the woman replied, offering him her hand. "You may very well be the key to saving everything I care about. But then, you may choose to destroy it all. Good or evil, you will never be trash."

"Oh gods," the boy said aloud as he accepted her hand. "I don't want to be a bad guy. H-hey, I want to save the world, you know? Or at least not be a bad guy. I'm serious here... not a bad guy! They always, always, always go off on monologues about how amazing they are right before they get a Bad End! A-are you listening to me?"

The youth had to wonder why she wasn't killing him, actually. "I'm being led around by the nose, but I really, really don't want to die... and I don't want to kill anyone either. I'm still pretty freaked out about that goblin... Y-you, why are you laughing?" Hand in hand, the boy was led deeper into the woods by the beautiful blonde. Okay, a part of him was sure this was a trap. He didn't think he believed her saying he was going to destroy the world or whatever, but he didn't hate the idea that this beautiful older woman was taking some kind of interest in him.

Actually, suddenly, he had an odd complaint... It was simple and he was unable to keep himself from voicing it out loud. "Hey... so why me?"