Exceptions and Expectations

We don't talk anymore about children that day or the next, but we still talk… a lot. We talk about our dislike for crowded places, which morphs into a discussion about all the places we've been. Alastair tells me about what he remembers from Hawaii, and I tell him about hiking in the Smoky Mountains with my family three summers ago. This transforms into a debate about beaches versus mountains, which morphs into Star Wars references about sand being "coarse and rough and getting everywhere". We then talk about humans' perspectives on magic as portrayed in movies and books which then morphs into talks about isolationism versus integration into human society.

The next day we pick up where we left off, talking about human governments' role in supernaturals' lives which leads into a discussion about whether the government should pay for healthcare. Alastair asks me why werewolves can heal from a broken neck, but still get heart attacks which segues to me explaining why cancer is actually the most common cause of death in werewolves.

On Wednesday, we somehow manage to circle back around to pop culture, but don't ask me how we got there. (Maybe it had something to do with Disney's portrayal of death in children movies? We both admitted to crying in the first ten minutes of "Up".) When the topic of superhero movies is broached, the conversation takes a sharp left turn, becoming serious.

"That's actually what everyone expects me to do." Alastair says. "Be some sort of vigilante."

"Who expects that? The coven?"

Alastair nods. "Yeah, some of them. People, when they know I'm a telepath, think if I don't intervene before someone does something wrong, it's because I don't care or maybe even approve of it. Like when Barrett poisoned the orchard or when Deron and the guys bullied you for years."

"But that's just ridiculous! You can't be everywhere all the time and it's not your responsibility to police them anyways."

"Yeah," Alastair smiles, looking down. "You've told me that before."

"Why do I get the feeling you don't believe me then?"

He shrugs. "Maybe because I know deep down I could probably do a better job of protecting people than I do. Like, if I went into town regularly and actively sought out criminals; I bet I could stop quite a number of muggings. Maybe even save someone's life."

I furrow my brow, frustrated by how much other people expect of him. "But isn't your responsibility primarily to the coven and the forests?" I try, hoping to narrow his focus.

"Witches protect all of Mother Earth's creations, not just the plants, oceans, or skies, but also animals and even humans."

"But, you can't solve all the world's problems alone."

"No, you're right. I can't. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. In theory, it sounds easy to just stun someone before they can hurt another person, right? But most people have thoughts that they never act on and trying to decipher which of those thoughts will actually translate into reality is incredibly difficult. And just because someone thinks something bad, doesn't mean that they are bad. You actually taught me that."

"I did?"

Alastair nods, but doesn't elaborate.

"Was it something I said or something I thought?"

"Something you said a while ago."

"I don't remember."

"It doesn't matter now. Even if I could use my powers for vigilantism, I'm not sure I should."

"Really? I've sort of got the impression you think it is your responsibility to prevent people from harming others."

"Well, it is my responsibility, I just don't think vigilantism is very effective or helpful. Of course there are exceptions when I will intervene, like if I know someone is going to be seriously hurt. But in general, I think it is better to create a system where people are taught to do the right thing and where it is easy for them to choose good. For example, if we could take away the struggle to survive which makes people selfish or desperate, maybe we could eliminate most crime."

"I like that idea, but walk me through what you mean."

"Well, what's the most common law broken?"

"I don't know. Theft?"

He shakes his head. "Possession of drugs. But, what makes me different from a dealer who sells crack or the addicted victim he sells it to? It's not that I'm just inherently better than either of them. Rather my circumstances are different. I was raised in a different environment and didn't have to struggle for what I have. And yet for some reason, humans tend to think the answer to 'fixing criminals' is to punish them, when really punishment just makes people's circumstances worse and perpetuates decisions which harm yourself and others."

"Yeah, just so you know, it's not only humans that think punishing others is effective. We werewolves punish our own too. It's where all the rogues come from."

Alastar's expression darkens. "I know. I hope you don't find this offensive, Cam, but the practice of forcing a wolf to leave their pack is just wrong. I've seen the mental trauma it causes and it is abhorrent."

"I believe you and don't worry, I'm not offended. I wish there was more we could do for rogues." An idea pops in my mind. "You often capture rogues who enter our lands and release them back into the wild, right?"

He nods, slowly.

"Have you ever thought about a rehabilitation program? Maybe teach rogues who were exiled young how to function in human society?"

"I don't know, Cam... Rehabilitation can work sometimes, but I don't think giving them a few life skills and sending them on their merry way is very effective. Most people don't really change. We just react to changes in our environment."

"That's… rather pessimistic."

"I'm just being realistic. I don't want to expect people to change, otherwise I'll just end up disappointed. For example, I've tried to change Deron for years and nothing I've said or done has ever made a difference. Even when I hear his intentions and intervene, it doesn't stop him from bullying people in the future. Barrett on the other hand, he's not really a sadistic person. I think he just reacts to his environment. He's afraid of not fitting in. He probably wouldn't act out so much if he stopped hanging out with Deron."

That tracks. Even if Alastair didn't say it explicitly, the implication is clear: Deron is a sadist who derives pleasure from causing other people pain. That part of him is never going to change, but Barrett might behave differently in a better environment. I don't miss how Alastair didn't mention my third bully, Luke, during this whole discussion, but, remembering the tender moment I saw them share last week, I'm not sure I want to know what goes on in his head or what Alastair thinks about it, so I decide to redirect the conversation.

"So what do you think is the solution to dealing with rogues?"

"Well, stop calling them rogues for starters."

I flush, a little embarrassed at being called out. "What should we call them then?"

"People or werewolves who have been exiled. I've always thought that other term was stigmatizing."

"I—I've never really thought about it, but I guess you're right… I'll stop saying it."

He smiles sweetly at me and a little warmth lights my heart.

"See, people can change. I just changed a little," I counter cheekily.

"Pfft. Not really. You were always a compassionate person, Cam. And a total people pleaser."

"Hey! I'm not nearly as much of a people pleaser as I once was!"

"Uh huh. Can I have the last bite of your sandwich?"

"Sure." I pass him the ham sandwich lying beside me, forgotten.

He smirks as he takes a bite, as if to say, "See what I mean?"

I groan at being tricked. "That doesn't count! It's different with you."

"How so?"

"Because you didn't ask me for something I wasn't already willing to give. I think I would do, like, anything you asked me to."

"Anything?"

"Probably. So, tell me what you think should be done to help werewolves who have been exiled and I'll help make it happen. We can make a plan; dream about what we will do when you become High Priest."

Alastair bites back a smile, but his eyes light up, turning a softer shade of purple without the use of magic. "I've actually thought a lot about this. I would need the Alpha's and Luna's help though. I guess that would be David and whoever his mate is by the time I ascend."

I swallow. He once thought the Luna would be me. Is this why he wanted to be my friend? He did tell me that he wanted to have a good relationship with the future Luna, but I'm pretty sure he was just trying to push me away. He likes me for me, not my title. If he didn't, we wouldn't be friends right now or maybe he would be encouraging me to get back together with Davy. Instead, even though he insists he isn't ready for a relationship, he still flirts with me and, sometimes, lets me hold his hand. Even if my anxieties still play with my mind sometimes, I have faith that what we have is real.

"I would like to modify our treaty to protect wolves from being exiled in the first place," Alastair continues. "and set up a search and rescue program to find wolves that can be safely integrated into your pack. With my telepathic powers, I would be able to find out why they were exiled and probably could determine if they would be a real danger to the pack."

"And if they are a danger? If they are too ferrel to be saved?"

"Honestly? I don't know. I think the majority of wolves are exiled unjustly, but for those that aren't? If they have seriously hurt someone in the past?" Alastair's expression darkens and I suspect he is thinking about Ross. "I don't think I could take the risk that they won't hurt someone else in the future. They are the people I make expectations for."