I dart up the steps of Elysium, toward the safety it has become, and I crash into him, telling him, breathlessly, the words erupting from me, my body shaking... "Something dark is on its way." Isabell

Thought-provoking and enjoyable

I have to say, this isn't the type of story that I usually pick up, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Once I started, I couldn't stop, and I finished the whole thing in two days. It was so interesting to see this cast of characters that love art and spontaneity and writing. I could relate to so many of the concepts that were presented, and the idea of bringing more adventure into our lives really challenged me. The plot was unexpected and interesting. I liked the idea of the girl entering Avery's life to "help" her, and I liked the twist ending where Avery's life was turned upside-down. You kept the entire story interesting even when there wasn't much going on. Although I liked the unexpected turn of events (Eden using Avery for ulterior purposes), I was a little dissatisfied with the ending. The whole story is so beautiful, but it kind of fell flat in my mind once revenge was thrown into the midst. I could understand her hurt (I would be ticked off too!), but I was hoping that she would be the bigger person, take what she learned, and go home to make a new life for herself and restore the relationships that Eden broke. It was still good though. I also really enjoyed the characters you had in here. They were very unique and three-dimensional. When I found out that Avery's father was dead, I was really surprised and immediately admired the way you built up to that realization. Avery's development as the lead character was really cool. I liked the way she was challenged, and I like that Jared ended up liking her instead of Eden. She was extremely real and relatable. I would have liked to see her overcome this trick that Eden played on her in the end rather than turning to cheap revenge, but I can't have everything. :-) Eden was an especially interesting character. I can't say that I liked her, but I was always very intrigued by her. I especially liked the times when she revealed a bit of a dark side because that added to her complexity. That being said, I would have liked to know more about that dark side. I wanted to know why there were these sudden spurts of anger and violence, and I was also disappointed that I never got to find out Eden's secret (the one about what she did to her friend's book). Other than that, the characterization was wonderful. You did a brilliant job capturing teen life and throwing in unique people. Great work! The writing style was also very good. I loved the descriptions you used and the way that you evoked emotion into the reader. There were numerous grammatical issues in the story as well as some typos, but technical stuff like that is easy to fix. All in all, this was amazing! I don't read a book all the way through unless it really sinks its hooks into me, and this did that. Great work! I hope this does well in the contest!