Mr. Straw

There's just something about Mr. Straw.

I don't know exactly what it is, but as I scan the list of available achievements that's the one that jumps out. Maybe it's because it seems reasonably simple. Maybe it's because I should be able to do it fairly quickly. Maybe it's just me that don't want to pee on any walls. But whatever the reason, I ignore the suggested achievements and gravitate towards Mr. Straw.

"Mr. Straw," I read quietly to myself later that night, when I'm supposed to be sleeping.

["Combat achievement. 'Friends and training partners come and go, but Mr. Straw is eternal. He stands waiting for you in the training ground, longing for your return and desperate to feel your blows once more. Why apre you torturing Mr. Straw so? Just punch him. It's what he really wants.'

Unlock Condition: land a thousand clean blows on 'Training Dummy: Mr. Straw'. Reward: unknown. Status: locked."]

That all seems pretty straight forward. And so the next morning, after I've filled my hunger motive at breakfast, I go wandering out the door on my own.

Leaving the house by myself isn't exactly a new occurrence. I've been doing it since I turned four. It must be because I live in a shinobi village; otherwise, I doubt Mother would let me off unattended. But Konoha is just that kind of place.

Roving gangs of tiny children wander the dirt roads during all hours of sunrise, searching for people to play with and adventures to get up to. And if there's any trouble, there's always a shinobi somewhere within earshot. I'm fairly sure that if I ever do something wrong there'll be a full report on it attached to the refrigerator before I'm even done doing it.

Still, I have never left this early before, and rarely have gone anywhere besides Three League Park on my own. Mother might not be the most pleased with me. But I doubt she'd accept "Going to find a training dummy!" as an explanation for where I'm headed. Better to just say sorry later. She won't be that mad; she always seems thrilled when I act independent.

With my freedom secured, the second order of business is a little more complicated: finding this 'Mr. Straw'. A shinobi village Konoha might be, but they don't just leave training equipment laying everywhere. There's definitely not one in the Park, and I can't think of any place I've seen them for sale. I have to think logically about this.

I can't afford to spend the entire day poking my head around everywhere just trying to find a straw dummy to hit; with the size of Konoha, that could take years!

And logic dictates that a training dummy would be in a place where training happens. Two locations spring to mind: the Academy and the Training Grounds.

The Academy is my first stop for one simple reason. Namely, I know where it is. It's honestly hard to miss. Though it might be a simple looking building of older design, it's built into the heart of the village. On one side is the Hokage Tower. On the other is the Hospital. Which makes sense in a tactical way; I only want to have to defend so much area if battle breaks out.

Having all the core buildings in one small niche would allow defenders to focus their efforts. And with it's surroundings, the simplicity of the Academy that might make it blend in somewhere else in the village makes it stand out like a sore thumb against the pure ivory of the Hokage Tower and the grey stone of the Hospital.

It takes almost no time at all to trot across the village from home to the Academy. Unfortunately, the little time I took is still time wasted. I'm not allowed into the building proper- I'm not a shinobi after all- and the few dummies I can see are all wood. There's even a little nameplate hanging over each of their heads: Mr. Plank. No Mr. Straws here.

Which is annoying. Finding Mr. Straw at the academy would have made this a piece of cake. But now I'll have to go looking through the Training Grounds.

That is, if I can find them.

I know they exist. I've read the manga. I have watched the anime. There's an achievement for clearing one in my list for god's sake! I know that there are places in Konoha that shinobi use to hone their skills. But this is a shinobi village. The locations of the training grounds aren't marked on any map. There's no guidebook listing their locations.

I can assume two things. One: the training grounds are fairly far away from any concentrations of civilians. It'd be hard to keep the location of the training ground secret if anyone can hear the explosions from anyone who's practice anymore. Two: they're inside the walls somewhere, at least most of them. It wouldn't be practical to train away from the village; shinobi have to be ready to accept mission at any time.

So far away from the predominantly civilian areas, but still in the village. That at least cuts down my search area.

I set my jaw, make sure my shoes are tightly laced, and set out into the hunt.

Seven hours later, I'm hungry. I'm tired. My comfort motive is dropping dangerously towards the red. My shoes are too tight and I am pretty sure I'm going to have a blister in the morning.

But I found it. I found Mr. Straw. He's sitting on a post in the middle of Training Ground 18. At least, that's where I'm at according to my map

Not only did I find Training Ground 18, it isn't even the first training ground I located! It's my third. The first was Training Ground 4, a small meadow in the forest between the walls and the village proper that was set up for target practice. The other was Training Ground 12, a small grotto set into the far side of Hokage Rock. I am not entirely sure what that one is for but walking near it made my stomach queasy. It had been an easy decision to leave it after five seconds spent in it.

By contrast, Training Ground 18 doesn't make me sick at all. Nor does it seem occupied. It's located far from the village, as far as I can go and not run smack into the walls. The ground beneath is hilly and uneven. Brief plateaus dot the marked area, but for the most part this entire area is a pain to stand on. Various Mr. Straw's dot the field, hanging limply, arms barely moving against the breeze. If I had to guess this training area is for melee combat on difficult terrain.

But I don't need to worry about that. I just need to punch the dummy.

I stagger through the uneven ground at a slow but steady pace. As I go, I keep my eyes peeled for a Mr. Straw that isn't set in the side of a hill or wobbling back and forth. I need something I can stand on and swing at. I find one a few minutes into my search, set almost in the dead center of what my map says the training ground boundaries are.

Target selected, I stand before it, rear back, and swing.

It is… less than ideal.

The details of my old life are almost completely sanded away by this point. I'm more familiar with the children's plays that Mother takes me to than any thoughts of who I used to be. But from what vague things I can dredge up, I were never a fighter. Sure, I may have taken some karate or Tae Kwon Do when I were young, but I never really swung at someone, even a dummy. And even if I did and I don't remember it…

My first strike is pathetic. My swing overhand, the bottom of my flailing fist- thumb inside of course- limply brushing against one of Mr. Straw's arms. I groan, and try again. No better.

But do my strikes need to actually do anything? Maybe I can just poke at the thing and I'll be done. Hurriedly, I pull up my achievement's menu-

-and my face falls. The counter under 'Mr. Straw' hasn't changed at all. It still reads '0/1000 clean strikes landed'. Looks like I'm actually going to need to punch the thing.

I try again. This time my arms swings wildly to the side, like it's a rope with a rock attached to it. It's just as effective as my first shot.

Maybe a kick would work better? The thing doesn't say I need to punch it per say, just strike it. I rear back, plant my left foot, and kick out with my right-

And fall over.

Well. This might be more difficult than I had thought it would be.

I push myself back to my feet and glare at Mr. Straw. The target on his face is wrinkled slightly near where the mouth would be on a person. It looks almost like the dummy is mocking me. I can't have that! I need to wipe the smirk from this fucker's face and my fist is just the thing I need to use!

I swing again- and miss completely.

But this time, it isn't because of my own incompetence or child body.

It's because the sound of someone clearing their throat behind startles me.

My fist goes wide, and my head smashes into the dummy as I trip over my own feet.

The clean strike counter goes up one. Joy. I can't pay it any attention. I whip my head around and stare at the source of the noise.

I have never seen the throat clearer before. Not in my daily life, not in the pages from my life before. If I had, I doubt I would've forgotten her. She is… well, I don't want to say beautiful. Mother is beautiful. Mother is probably the most gorgeous woman I've ever laid eyes on in two lives. Poets seek Mother out for inspiration. I've seen a woodcut depicting her during tea ceremony that looks like something out a fairy tale. This newcomer is certainly not beautiful. Her jaw is too square, her eyes are set too close together, her eyes are too wrinkled in the corners. What I would call her is 'handsome'. And possibly 'striking'.Though that last one might be because I've been struck mute by her appraising gaze.

The kunoichi- because of course she's a kunoichi, who else would be at a training ground at this hour- strolls toward me slowly, completely unbothered by the uneven ground. Her sedate pace gives me time to fully look her over. Brown hair, worn in a braid that hangs to the crook of her neck. A hitai-ate tightly bound around one arm. A forest green vest over brown pants and a black shirt, emblazoned with a red spiral on the back. Thick eyebrows. And… is she chewing something? No idea what it is, but she's not swallowing. It's definitely not food.

As I inspect her, she's inspecting me. Finally she strides up next to me. "So, that was some work you did there," she says amiably.

I scowl and stare at the ground. "That's one way to put it," I definitely do not pout.

She chuckles, but her eyes show no laughter. "I never said it was good work," she adds. "Just work." Before I can say anything else, she continues. "So, what's your name little buddy?"

"Um…" I hedge. Sure, Konoha is safe, but even here I'm taught the dangers of strangers.

The kunoichi senses my hesitancy. She squats down, meeting my eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry! I don't want to be rude. I should introduce myself first. I'm Okimi." She offers a hand, and I take it on reflex-

Only to flinch away a second later. With her face this close to me, I can smell whatever it is she's chewing, and it's foul.

She frowns for a moment before realizing what's causing my watering eyes. "Oh, sorry," she says. She frowns in effort, and just like that, the smell vanishes, being replaced by a cool minty aroma not unlike gum.

"It's okay," I manage. "I'm Daisuke." What's the worst she can do with just my first name?

"It's nice to meet you Daisuke," she replies. "And what brings you here?"