Choose your character!

For long moments I stand frozen, staring at the map in front of me. My eyes dart from location to location as I try to decide which one to press. Some are easy to eliminate- what's even in Suna anyway? And Iwa… from what I remember of the manga, Iwa existed mostly to get killed and be led by a tiny old man. I'll give that a pass for now.

Kiri is more interesting. I stare at the icon for the Village Hidden in the Mist for quite some time. There's just something so quentisentially awesome about throwing around a sword twice the size of the person holding it that just the thought makes me pause. But some faint memories involving the Graduation Exam tickle the back of my mind. I don't remember exactly what it was about the Kiri Exam that's making the hair on the back of my neck rise up, but I'll listen to that instinct. I am going to avoid Kiri for now.

I spend just as much time contemplating Kumogakure. Learning how to throw around lightning! More swording! Hanging out with Killer B- or at least, trying to hang out with Killer B! What's not to love? I don't know- and that's the problem. I have almost no knowledge of Kumo, and that's a problem. I'll skip it.

That leaves me with two options: Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, or Shukufuku, a small village north of Fire Country with no known Shinobi presence. That last part sounds kind of wonderful. Despite what the universe is saying to me about how similar the Naruto world and my old world are, the fact that people can spit acid and crap thunder is… concerning.

Yeah. That sounds good. I could head to Shukufuku and start off in a place so minor it never appeared in the anime or manga. I'll learn this world from the ground up and play it safe. If I'm lucky, I'll make it to whatever passes as a ripe old age here without ever seeing a ninja. I'll be a normal person and…

My eyes slip off of the icon for Shukufuku and look up, straight at the inky blackness that still surrounds me. It wasn't long ago that my life's score was passing through that dark space. A score that was headed by my rank: pointless.

I don't want to be pointless again.

And in Konoha, I'd at least have a chance to not be pointless. Say what you will about characters in Naruto that came from Konoha: they were memorable. They had a reason to exist, even if it was just for a one note joke. They each had big moments.

My finger jams down on the Konohagakure icon before I can give it another moment's thought.

[YOU HAVE SELECTED KONHAGAKURE: THE VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE LEAVES. PLEASE SELECT IT AGAIN TO CONFIRM-​]

Again, my finger presses down. And just like that, I am no longer surrounded by emptiness. There is no flash of light. There's no transition at all. One second, I'm in the middle of a void. The next I'm above a bustling village. Sounds, sights, and smells assault me at once, sending myself reeling with my eyes watering.

Once I'm able to clear the tears from my eyes, the first thing I see is the enormous mountain in front of me, with four faces carved into the front of it. Hokage Rock. And with that sight die the last thoughts I had that this might be a joke.

[WELCOME TO KONOHAGAKURE, THE VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE LEAVES. THE FIRST OF THE GREAT SHINOBI VILLAGES, KONOHAGAKURE HAS RECENTLY PROVEN IT'S STRENGTH ONCE MORE IN THE THIRD GREAT SHINOBI WAR. THOUGH IN THE AFTERMATH OF THE WAR, THE THIRD HOKAGE STEPPED DOWN, HIS REPLACEMENT HAS PROVEN TO BE A BURGEONING LEGEND IN HIS OWN RIGHT. BUT DANGER EVER LURKS ON THE HORIZON]

"."

The text continues to scroll in front of my eyes, listing notable facts about what looks like present day Konoha. Under the scrawl is a red button, marked continue. On either side of the scroll is an arrow.

Out of curiousity, I reach out and press one of the arrows.

[WELCOME TO KONOHAGAKURE, THE VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE LEAVES. THE FIRST OF THE GREAT SHINOBI VILLAGES, KONOHAGAKURE STANDS ON THE PRECIPICE OF WAR. TENSION WITH THE POWERFUL IWAGAKURE IS COMING TO A HEAD. CHILDREN OF YOUNGER AND YOUNGER AGES ARE BEING CONSCRIPTED INTO THE SHINOBI FORCES AS THE THIRD HOKAGE DOES EVERYTHING HE CAN TO STRENGTHEN THE VILLAGE BEFORE WAR BREAKS OUT…​ ]

"."

The village around me looks the same but the text is definitely different. It's describing events from before the series proper actually started. Is this some kind of time selector? Can I pick when I start to exist?

Before I get excited, my eyes drop to the continue button. It's still there but unlike the last one, it's grey. My heart sinks. Something being greyed out is never a good sign in any game.

I press it anyway.

[THIS OPTION IS LOCKED! IT CAN BE UNLOCKED BY GAINING THE ACHIEVEMENT "Student of the Past".​]

Well. That's inconvenient.

I press another arrow. Another text scroll comes up, and the village below me starts to look a lot less put together and a lot more like an actual village. Again, the continue button is greyed out. Another arrow press, more of the same. It looks like the only continue button I can actually hit is the first one.

With nothing else to do, I press it. The village around me seems to lose resolution and gets fuzzy, as if I am suddenly looking at it with much worse eyes. Directly between myself and Hokage Rock the air shimmers. Four silhouettes warp and twist into being. Below each of them is a small placard.

[CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER.​]

{• The Scion. You were born to a family of wealth and privilege, growing up wanting for nothing.}

{• The Street Rat. You grew up on the streets, using your wits and cunning to eke out an existence.}

{• Son of the Shops. You come from a long line of peddlers, and have been haggling with anyone and everyone since the moment you learned to talk.}

{• New In Town. You're not from around here. Your family is a new arrival in Konoha, and it definitely shows.}

"Um, what?" I ask. "I thought I was just going to, you know, be me. Or at least be someone on the show!"

The universe is unhelpfully silent. Im starting to get the feeling that, that's going to be the norm.

Well. I should probably do what I'm being told to.

It doesn't take me nearly as long to make up my mind here. I don't want to grow up on the streets, no matter how appealing Aladdin made it look, and I hated working retail- nope I don't want to do that as a family tradition. That just leaves two choices: being new in town, and being the scion of a well-connected clan. It's a tough choice between the two but in the end, I select the newcomer. There's something about having a background different from everyone else that appeals to me.

[YOU HAVE SELECTED 'New In Town'. PLEASE SELECT IT AGAIN TO CONFIRM-​]

Done and done.

As my finger leaves the button, I tense up for the next change. Every time I hit one of these buttons, the entire world around me warps and twists into something even more bizarre. In the last… however long it's been, I've gone from scoreboard to empty void to looking over a continent like a god to floating in the middle of the village. I can only imagine what it's going to be like when I'm actually sent into my character. Maybe everything will blur even more? Or will I get a zooming effect as I pop into my character? Or will everything fade out and-

The wheels beneath me hit a divot in the road, jerking me out of my thoughts.

My head snaps around. The hell just happened?! The fuzzy Konoha I stood in is gone. Now, I can barely see anything. One either side of me is a dark wall that also stretches out above. I can only see a little bit of the world outside my new confines- a sliver of blue sky and a blurry shape in front. New smells and sensations hit me in a wave. The odor of some kind of animal, the feeling of warm air on my face… after who knows how long in an empty void, it's surprising.

"The hell!"I call out.

At least, that's what I want to say. What comes out is more a "Waaaaah!"

I stop. Blink once. Twice. And try again. "What's happening?!" is what I think. But again, a raspy baby's cry comes from my mouth.

The blurry shape in front of me turns around and reaches for me. It's hands get closer, looming large in my vision. I flinch back as they reach for my body. But the wall all around me extends there too- I can't get away! The giant's hands scoop me up and pull me forward. I try and scream, but only more cries come out.

The blurry shape doesn't do anything bad though. They certainly don't try to rip my bones out to make their bread like I were expecting. Instead, the shape pulls me close and cradles me against their shoulder. It starts making soothing noises, and I start rocking back and forth in their arms.

"Oh, it's okay!" a soothing woman's voice croons. "We're almost there. You've been being so good this entire trip! It'll all be over soon!" She keeps talking, her words trailing off into vaguely comforting gibberish.

Two thoughts click into place in my mind.

One: this blurry thing holding me is my Mother. I know that deep in my bones as one of the universal truths of the universe. The sky is blue. Water is wet. This woman is my Mother.

Two: I am a baby. Judging by how my eyes don't seem to be done developing quite yet and how hard it is to lift my head of Mom's shoulder, I can't be that old. Less than a year definitely.

"Rats."

"Goo ga bluh!"

"That's right sweetie! Just a few more minutes! Then we'll find you something to eat! I've got some peaches with your name on them!"

"Blurble!"

Another voice breaks into our conversation. "Ma'am?" it calls out in a bored monotone. "Today, please? You're holding up the line."

"It sounds like you've never had to handle a fussy child," Mom replies in the same soothing tone. "Your line has made me wait long enough; it can do some of it's own while I make sure everything is alright."

The other voice grumbles, but doesn't protest further. Mom bounces me up and down a few more times, as if she's doing it just because she can, before resting me in the crook of her arm. "Go ahead," she prompts the other voice.

"Thank you for your permission," it- he- replies, voice dripping with sarcasm. I crane my neck around to see who's speaking as much as possible, but all I can see is another blurry shape standing in front of an enormous blurry shape. Is that the walls of Konoha? That'd make sense… damn, I hope my eyes hurry up and develop soon. "Could I see your papers please?"

There's a rustling sound as Mom digs around in a bag with her free hand and passes something to the other voice. The voice takes what she's offering and makes thoughtful sounds as they look it over. "Declare yourself," it orders.

Mom makes an exasperated noise. "It's right there on the papers. Can't you read?"

"Ma'am, I am just following procedure. Please declare yourself and any parties that are accompanying you."

I move up and down as Mom shrugs. "Satomura Manami," she sighs out. "No other people here, except for my son, Daisuke."

"Your reason for coming to Konohagakure?"

"We're moving here."

The gate guard- that's the only thing the other voice could be- makes a vague sound of agreement as he half listens to Mom and half peruses her papers. "Land of origin?"

Mom sighs again. What he's asking is clearly in front of him and it sounds like she wants nothing more than to remind him of that. But to her credit she does not. Instead, she inhales-

"The Land of Iron," Mom replies slowly, with the air of someone long suffering.