72. Tell No One My Secret

"I admit I have done a few things to have warranted you to exit like that..."

"No shit, Sherlock...! Few is an understatement." Niel replied sarcastically.

Elric giggled, his eyes still on Niel then sat down on the bed. He felt fatigued but that feeling was overlooked by the fact that he'd finally caught Niel.

They'd both argued over where to go, Elric insisting on following Niel while still being adamant about him not staying in a hotel..

"What's the point of us staying here when I have a luxurious apartment in waiting for us two? I amready informed my help to keep everything ready..."

"I'm not going to stay with you where you've bedded your lovers Elric."

"There is no difference between my place and here. How many people do you think have screwed in this room?"

"My point exactly." Niel said with finality and sat on the only chair in the room, right next to the dressing table.

"I won't bite. You can sit next to me..."

"No."

Elric watched Niel take out his phone from his pocket and was surfing for a while.

"Please don't just ignore me while using your phone to stare at your boyfriend's photos when he is right here in front of you."

Niel sighed and closed his eyes briefly. There was no use arguing with Elric. He'd learned that the previous day after he was adamant about him using his scent on him, insisting that Niel needed to compensate him for days he'd left him alone and abandoned.

"No matter how I look at it, it just doesn't make any sense how we became fated."

"Are we really nothing?" Standing up, he snatched Niel's phone from him. "Niel, I'd like for you to focus on me right now." Elric glanced at the phone screen and realized Niel was actually booking a taxi.

"Running off again? Are you perhaps scheduling a ride just so you can put me to sleep and jet off?"

"It's for you."

"What?" Elric seemed confused.

"I can see your eyes sizing me up constantly and that gives me a terrible feeling...as if I'm some helpless rabbit in front of a predator. Maybe it's an illusion conjured by my own anxiety of being around you or what you represent to me." Niel watched Elric's smile grow wider and despised the fact that Elric was taking pleasure at his discomfort.

"Well now, you caught me. I have vague memories of how amazing it felt the night of you marking me. However your unsettling gaze makes my entire skin crawl...a feeling that's enough to turn me on in an instant without perceiving your scent. Since that night, I realize now that I've become more self aware of you than before...reacting to even your tiniest gestures."

"Stop flirting with me..." Niel grimaced.

"I'm simply stating the truth." Elric spoke as he went and sat back on the bed to which Niel requested to have his phone back.

"I cancelled your taxi request and turned off your phone. You won't be needing it so focus on me." Crossing his legs, he continued. "I'd like for you to tell me about you and Mijin."

"What the fuck?"

"Her name will pop up between us sooner or later. Might as well clear the air now so we can both move on don't you think? She is the reason the two of us ended up meeting after all. Besides, my presence as you mentioned makes you feel turbulent among other uncomfortable feelings. Either way we will soon be seen in public together and there will be those...occationally that will try to find fault in the most insignificant of things to keep us apart because of my history, Mijin being a major part of that history. Rather than sweeping the elephant in the room under the rug which clearly won't fit, it would be wiser to not ignore this subject. We are both clear in mind...I've slightly replenished my need for your scent and without manipulating our scents to lure another to our needs, this is the perfect time to clear the air then afterwards, we can fuck all we want. I'm curious of how you look when you moan in pleasure. It should be just too good to miss."

"The fuck..." Niel grimaced further.

"Don't give me that face, it hurts my feelings. Aren't you also not curious about seeing me shudder and roll my eyes backwards at the feeling of ploughing me away?"

"Seriously! Is sex all you ever think about?"

"Yes."

"Then how have you been holding up all this time while I was away?"

"It's torturous. I did try proving the theory of fated mates not being able to hook up after marking and turns out it's true. No other scent interests me anymore therefore, let's get back to what we were talking about. A good relationship is only good as long as there is proper communication and openness between partners."

Niel took his time to study Elric for a while and digest his statement. He knew it was proper to clear the air concerning Mijin as early as possible but to think that Elric was already seeing them as being in a relationship, labelleing him as 'boyfriend' made him extremely uncomfortable. He couldn't blame him though. After Elric imprinting on him, it was a matter of time before the need to want to protect and care for him overpowered him since clearly, Elric was acting this way, clingy and desperate because he'd already accepted their reality.

"Look, Mijin's relationship and I was simple. We were both too scared to leave each other but too broken to stay so we kept hurting each other and called that love. It was only after taking myself out of the picture that everything became clear hence, don't ask me for more on that subject and do not feel the need to speak of your relationship with her."

"Okay daddy."

"What?" Niel frowned, hoping to have misheard what Elric said.

"Would you prefer Zaddy instead?" Elric was enjoying each and every reaction from Niel. "If you make it easy for me to tease you, I'm going to be doing it all the time."

"Don't do that...don't call me that."

"Make me?" Elric further teased.

"You lost someone Elric..." Niel changed the subject, not wanting to have his way with him. Seeing the confusion on his face, he continued. "I know it to be true since you told me subconsciously."

"What are you talking about so suddenly? Or perhaps you're playing reverse psychology on me..."

"They say grief is just love with no place to go...at least that is what I saw when you imprinted on me."

Elric's eyes widened in shock, an expression he rarely gave out however, he didn't respond to Niel's words but just stared at him showing no expression.

"You have become accustomed to feeling pain that you have convinced yourself to accept it as normal. However, when you begin to feel like you're loosing of that feeling, you go in search of it, seeking it out like treasure. You hope that it would go away on it's own but you can't stand being without it so you hold on...then let go and the cycle continues yet, you won't allow that feeling to consume you so you hide behind a mask, putting on a facade to lie to others that you are dandy.

You're lonely Elric. You crave the company of another but when you meet genuine people who want to share in your pain, you push them away just so you can hide your pain yet again...treating it like some living thing. You even gave it a name...almost like an imaginary friend.

You feel like dying but you won't kill yourself so you stay alive to nourish your mother with your primary scents and you do not want anyone to know of this. If anyone was to discover this secret of yours, they'd represent hope. A hope that you've convinced yourself you don't deserve.

You have been trapped in that cycle for years, and hope is your weakness..."

"You should probably switch careers Zaddy." Elric smiled coyly, trying his best to hide the loud thudding of his heart. "If you saw all that from a mare imprint and decoded it as such, surely you must know you are in the wrong career."

"Elric..."

"Remember I did eavesdrop on your conversation with Mijin when you passionately spoke of Yeon's depression that even I was unaware of." Standing up, Elric added. "I'm not ready to talk about my past...unless you want to manipulate your scents and coax the words out of me..."

"This is your true past, not the fuckery you've done as a self proclaimed playboy. Besides, you're letting out scent right now, a scent I perceive as fear..." Niel stopped when he saw Elric's expression turn sinister.

"Enough. Let's just have sex and..."

"How's the scar?" Niel interrupted and felt satisfied at being successful at distracting Elric yet again when he saw the confused expression on his face. "The bite mark."

"Funny you should ask that at the moment. It's annoyingly itchy especially now that you're here." Elric's smile was back on. "Why don't you come closer and have a look at what damage you've done to my neck?"

To Elric's surprise, Niel complied and stood up, walking to stand behind him and took off the scarf he'd been holding tight even in his sleep.

"It's....not healed?" Niel seemed shocked at the sight of it looking almost exactly as he'd left it, except it appeared more like a wound.

"Stan's parents have been disinfecting it...my mother too." Elric replied without turning to look at Niel. He suddenly felt nervous from being this close to Niel that he questioned himself why that feeling had suddenly overpowered his calm demeanor.

"This is weird..." He spoke out his thoughts but was relieved when Niel misunderstood his statement as something else.

"Of course it is...It must be painful too."

"Not really. It only pains when I can't smell your scent."

"That's the entire time I was away..."

"If you know that then take responsibility for wounding my body and poor heart..." Elric stopped when he began to perceive Niel's scent. He felt a surge of heat overpower him and soon enough, he began to feel dizzy.

"What...what are you doing...?" He asked while struggling to reach for Niel's shoulder for support and closed his eyes briefly. "This...is not...the scent I...wanted..."

"Relax... don't fight it." Niel advised as he dragged Elric behind while hugging him from the back until his leg bumped on the bed then he sat down slowly, making Elric sit between his legs.

"Stop... What are you doing..."

"Taking responsibility as you said. You won't feel pain as long as you continue taking in my scent..."

"What..." Elric flinched when he felt Niel's teeth sinking at the exact same spot he'd bitten him weeks ago. His body stiffened...his face flushed as he tightly shut his eyes to endure an expected pain that never was.

He tried to struggle but felt completely overpowered by Niel's scent. Additionally, Niel's grip on him only tightened the more he struggled and after a few seconds, it felt like someone was gently blowing on his mark and that made him shudder.

"You're going into heat Elric..." Niel's voice was heavy as he spoke from behind Elric's ear and when Elric didn't say a word, he asked. "What do you want me to do?"

"Fuck me...as hard...as you can..."