150. Shadows From The Past

"Hajin, I'm expecting some guests today so I want you to do your best and keep Haesol as calm as possible. I would have allowed you to take her for a walk however our current situation disfavors that. I hope you understand."

"Yes I do. I'll stay in her room and put her to sleep. You won't even know we're here."

"Now, help me set up the table. They should be here in half an hour or so."

"Who are they, if you do not mind my asking?"

"Friends to my son and Mijin. Speaking of which, I need to find out what time she and her mother are getting back."

Hesitating, Hajin asked, "Did she agree to breastfeed?"

"That damned girl has refused to even look at poor Haesol."

"It's alright. I saw you prepared enough milk for her in the fridge for the day."

"That won't be enough. Your so called princess grows an appetite as days go by. Either way, we can't force Mijin. This daughter of mine has made sure not a single drop of her's is taken and there is nothing we can do about it."

"Sir, maybe we should completely avoid asking her. I've also come to accept that she may never acknowledge Princess. It's not like she wanted this."

"Neither did you yet you seem to take everything well by adapting to the situation. Look Hajin, I wouldn't have you under my roof if I didn't pity you and neither would I have Mijin stay here if I'd thought it was either of your faults. I'd kicked her out long ago from this place before my son graduated therefore, I understand what she is going through but everyone passes through an experience that is no fault of theirs at least once in their lives. How we choose to deal with the issue is what is important."

"I just don't want to have Princess think her mother rejected her."

"She has us and we are enough. It's time you also began thinking the same. Got it?"

"Yes sir."

"Now help me set up the table. We've wasted valuable time chattering pointlesly."

Just then, there was a knock at the door and both Elric and Niel walked in.

"Dad!" Elric exclaimed, stretching his arms wide open and ran towards Yeon's dad for a hug. Enjoying the feel of his jacked-up physic, he added, "The strongest dad in the world! I've missed you a lot!"

"Sorry." Niel apologised while laughing. "He is delusional and quite a handful so be careful."

After exchanging greetings, Elric noticed Hajin who was standing behind Yeon's dad. "I didn't know you had a guest over."

"He is Hajin but first, let us sit down."

"Wait a minute, I've heard that name before..."

"Elric, let us take a seat." Niel got a hold of Elric's hand, pulling him towards the dinng area. "We are not going to stay here long."

"I want to see her first babe. Where is she?"

"She is sleeping so now is not a good time."

"I don't think I can't wait. I'm growing fidgety by the minute that even now, I'm about to loose my mind because of it."

"What kinds of medicine did he take?" Yeon's dad asked Niel after Elric pulled away from him and proceeded to exchange greetings with Hajin.

"He was administered to some pain medication. Stan's uncle did warn me of some side effects but it was majorly supposed to calm him down since he was very much reluctant to leave the hospital because of Luca and Lusha."

"He must be hurting a lot then."

"Yes he definitely is and won't say a word about it. I guess this is his coping mechanism as terrible as it is."

Ignoring the two, his eyes fixated on Hajin, Elric asked, "You dated her the longest babe, did you ever meet him?"

Niel's eyes widened in shock. "What nonsense are you telling him?"

"Y-You were dating Mijin?" Hajin asked Niel.

"I never even knew she was fated. Elric, stop spouting nonsense. We came here to see the baby so let us do that and leave."

"When dinner is already set? No way." Elric walked towards the dining table and sat down.

"Oh my, he is definitely stressed. You have quite a handful there my son." Yeon's dad whispered to Niel. "I'm worried of his sudden movements though. His back must be hurting among other areas."

"I hardly doubt he can feel anything for now with all the injections given to him before we left the hospital today."

"What's going to happen when it's off his system?"

"That shouldn't be a problem since we've been going everyday to check on Luca and Lusha, and for his daily check ups. Those two were too tiny dad, too fragile. If it weren't for Elric being emotional whenever he sees them, I'd be the one crying instead but one of us has to be the strong one and it has to be me. Elric is the one dealing with a lot of things at the moment."

Yeon's dad smiled admirably at Niel and patted his shoulder. He remembered how in the past Niel would bend over backwards to try and please Mijin without questioning her or call her tantrums bluff yet here he was, much more mature and in control of the situation, taking responsibility and knowing when and how to be a good partner. 'I guess I can't call him man-boy anymore.'

"He is as sturbbon as a mule. I've been trying to make him rest more but after a week of our visits being only the hospital and back home, he was bound to complain."

Walking towards, Elric, Yeon's dad spoke, "The kids will be fine. They are in the best care and as much as I also want to see them, we have to give them their time to grow so do not worry yourself. You are welcomed to stay here whenever you feel down, okay Elric?"

Throwing an accusatory look at Niel, Elric said, "I told you he wanted me here."

Yeon's dad laughed then took Elric's hand and urged him to follow him. They got into Yeon's former room which was now decorated to befit that of a new born baby. Perhaps the scenery had been too much for Elric that he stayed in silence, his eyes on Haesol and after a while, Hajin appeared behind them, urging Elric to approach the crib.

Yeon's dad watched the two briefly and was impressed at how quickly the'd bonded, whispering about new borns and soon enough, Elric seemed to appear more and more calmer, Hajin often patting his shoulder in assurance.

"Let's leave them alone for a while." Yeon's dad said to Niel and the two went back to the kitchen, Yeon's dad occasionally checking the time then proceeded to put the meals on the table.

"I'm new to this... Everyday I think I know how to handle it but with each new day, I'm proven to know much less and lesser."

"Being a parent offers some sort of divine emotion, the kind of feeling that can't be compared to anything else. You may seem confused now but I know you are happy just as much knowing you share a beautiful bond and an unbreakable connection with Luca and Lusha, loving them even if they areant aware of it yet."

Niel smiled, nodding his head quietly in agreement. "Perhaps that is what is breaking Elric now since he doesn't know how to deal with being apart from them."

"Can you imagine connecting with them during pregnancy, knowing what they needed without them asking and now that they are separated, he has lost that connection? Of course he'd be scared and anxious. Every new parent goes through that but those marked end up hurting the most. I've seen how much his breasts are engorged yet he is forced to wait a little longer before he can breastfeed."

"What do I do to make him feel better? I can't just be contended with the solution of giving everything time. Seeing him silently hurting is driving me nuts especially when I'm unable to do anything but use my scent on him. It just isn't enough."

"Manipulating scents for his benefit is a temporary fix and you are right. That can only work for a while. If I remember how I felt when I had Mijin, being my first child, I underwent a terrible postpartum stress. Mijin's pregnancy broke me in many ways including physically. Of everything my wife tried, I'd say emotional support offered the best results. She constantly asked the things I needed and encouraged me whenever I'd do something to improve my health, something like simply getting out of bed and taking a walk.

There were times I'd forget I had had a baby and would leave the house, go for a run just to remember halfway I had an infant to take care of. I'd run back to find her crying and that broke me. I felt shame, labeled myself a failure and lost interest in anything and everything. I'd feel fatigued almost always, constantly suffered from sleeplessness and became indecisive.

With the second pregnancy, I had trouble bonding with Yeon for he had been too tiny of an infant that often times, I'd thought he might die while I was asleep. I'd occationally wake up just to check if he was still breathing or if he were indeed sleeping. Sometimes I'd wake him up just to hear him cry. I felt I needed proof he was still alive and afterwards, I would feel bad about it. When my postpartum depression became worse, I had to seek treatment though most of my healing came from the support from my wife.

With time, for both of my children, I was playing, touching, watching and feeling an overwhelming sense of love for them both and as time progressed on, I no longer felt depressed but that didn't mean those feelings of fear and guilt or frustration were completely erased. They still lingered however, the more I bonded with my children, the lesser those feelings dominated me."

Niel remained silent, his mind still processing how overwhelming Elric might be feeling at the moment. Yeon's dad had just given him a new understanding of Elric's situation.

"Your fated might just be experiencing baby blues and not necessarily depression however, I can't rule out that completely since he has to deal with parting from his children and for him to forcefully accept that they are in the best case in hospital as opposed to him caring for them himself must be driving him insane."

Just then, Elric and Hajin appeared, Elric seeming satisfied and more relaxed.

"She is pretty. Hajin informed me she cries a lot whenever he is not here."

"You have no idea. He wants no one touching her but his father's scent that my wife and I feel abandoned somehow. She only allows us to carry her during feeding time. Anyway, time for lunch. Let's have it while it's still hot."

"Where is Mijin?" Elric asked.

"She went house hunting with her mom. She plans on moving to her own place."

"Hajin told me she doesn't like Princess..."

"Ah... That is not necessarily what I said..."

"But I offered to wet-nurse Princess and you were willing to accept saying Princess hasn't been breastfed from birth."

"I didn't mean it like that... Just that she may be used to the bottle more... b-but I..."

"Hajin, you don't mind it?" Yeon's dad asked to which Hajin looked at him, his eyes full of guilt.

"I-I would like for her to at least experience it once..."

"I don't mind either. I have so much to spare so why not?" Elric affirmed but Niel felt hesitant of the idea.

"Elric, perhaps we should consider asking Dr. Jiwon about this."

"There is no harm involved. During my visits to the hospital, I considerd this option since I worried I might not make it to see my children or if I lived though labour, I might not have enough milk to breastfeed however, with the turn of events, I've survived yet I can neither breastfeed and I'm full to the brim it hurts even after pumping out bottles." Looking at Niel, Elric added, "Someone else would have fed Luca and Lusha if I hadn't made it you know. Every hospital has a nursing room in the maternity ward with volunteers for this and I agreed for Luca and Lusha to be part of the program if I didn't make it. Of course there are risks involved but these volunteers have undergone proper screening before being considered."

"Elric, I'm not reputing that, I just want to make sure you are okay with it. 'Though I wish you'd spoken to me about this before'"

Forming a mischievous smile, Elric asked, "Babe, perhaps you want all the milk to yourself?"

Niel's jaw dropped, blood rushing to his cheeks and Yeon's dad burst out laughing together with Elric.

With nothing more to add on the matter, they proceeded to have their lunch, Niel remaining quiet while Elric chattered on with both Yeon's dad and Hajin and time elapsed quickly. They hadn't noticed evening was fast approaching until the main door opened, both Mijin and her mom appearing.

She walked towards the dining area and settled her eyes on Elric. "Well, you've become quite ugly. Being pregnant doesn't suit you at all."

"Mijin!" Her mom called her out. "That is no way to speak to anyone!"

"What are they doing here?" She pointed at both Elric and Niel. "Did you bring them here to mock me?"

"What are you talking about? They are your friends just as they are to Yeon..."

"You both knew didn't you?" Mijin asked her parents. "That Elric and I screwed around is that it?"

"What?"

"First Hajin here abandons me then Niel breaks up with me and this asshole becomes fated to him, Elric of all people!"

"Mijin enough! They are our guests so please, show some manners."

Mijin scoffed, scanning the table, her face full of disgust. "The three men who left me used and abused. Is this a joke dad? You dining with them when you should be kicking them out of this place? This is our house! Stop petting every stray dog that knoks at your door!"

Looking at his wife, Yeon's dad said, "Please take her away."

"Get out! All of you! Get out of my house and never come back!"