36 Chapter 35

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Unedited version, will update once it's edited.

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After my short conversation with Danzo, I laid on my bed with my eyes staring aimlessly at the ceiling of my room, while I pondered deep in thought what Danzo had offered me and the implications of it all. Me? Being the Hokage, hilarious, especially knowing all he wanted was a puppet, a ruler for him to control, it was funny even, not the offer, or his blatant disrespect for Hiruzen, but how badly he failed at hiding his true intentions.

Now the question was, how to deal with this… I could tell Hiruzen, but that wouldn't change a thing, because Danzo was unfortunately right, Hiruzen was soft, and would never punish his friend. He was not one to make difficult decisions, especially when they had something to do with his friends.

"I just got back, and I'm already in a web of conspiracies," I sighed, deciding that, for now, I would keep an eye on Danzo, not because of his offer, politically speaking such things are to be expected, but because during my absence, his eyes… rather eye, changed, he now was… different, or perhaps… I was just now noticing it.

"Time to get ready to meet Tsunade and Mito," Taking a deep breath, I stood up from my bed, and went to the bathroom, not only I had to get ready, but I had to get rid of the stench of blood that permeated my body from the last... explosive battle.

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Once I was ready, I walked towards Tsunade's house and knocked at the door, one, two, three knocks and nothing, when all of the sudden, I felt as a few shurikens flew at me from behind. The weird thing was, the attack had no aggressive intent. With a sigh, I duck ever so slightly dodging the clumsy attack, as I flickered behind my attacker, just to realize it was Nawaki.

"Last time I saw you… you wanted to play with me," I chuckled, wondering why in the seven fucks he attacked, with a smile and a defeated sigh, I smacked him on the head with enough force to send his body right through the door of his house. Well, I guess I owe a new door to Tsunade.

"I wanted to see if your senses had dulled senpai," Nawaki declared buried in the debris of my attack, his voice showing no pain or discomfort, which is not weird considering who his sister is, "Don't worry though," he chuckled, "You passed my test! you are still worthy of being my rival!" Rivals, since when... and more importantly why?

"Rivals?" I chuckled.

Before he could reply, a bestial almost animalistic shout interrupted him, "Nawaki! You better not be attacking Orochimaru or Ji… well Jiraiya you can, but stop bothering Orochimaru!"

"He attacked me," I shouted in response loud enough for her to hear, and with a second of pause, followed by a sonic boom that originated from the depths of her house, she appeared in front of me, hair messy and… wow, puberty… just wow. How the fuck do hormones work, she was a shapeless potato when I left for my mission, and now… Jesus freaking christ.

"I am beautiful, I know," Tsunade grinned and I snorted.

"Modest much?" I teased.

"Modesty and personality are for those who lack on the outside," Tsunade winked, "Ready for you barbeque?"

"I am, and I am very hungry, so be ready to spend a lot of money," I grinned.

"I am," Tsunade smiled, tackling me into a hug.

I smiled and hugged her back. It sure felt good to be back home, funny how things change a person, with a cough I asked, "So, is Jiraiya still a pervert?" Tsunade snorted.

"Yes, he is… I almost kill him once, because of it," Tsunade admitted with a shameful blush, "He was… spying on me while I was on the hot springs and… things got out of hand pretty quickly, if it wasn't for Orochimaru, I would've probably killed the idiot with my bare hands, I was so angry that I didn't notice I had broken over half of his bones… it took him six months to fully recover, I even got a suspension for that time, it was… an entire ordeal, the good thing though is that he doesn't spy on me anymore, so…. yeah,"

"I honestly admire his perseverance," I chuckled, breaking the hug, "Especially knowing how stupidly hard you hit, it's almost like he wants to be killed by you…"

"Orochimaru said the same, as he carried his bleeding body to the hospital," Tsunade sighed, "Oh well… ready for the barbeque?"

"Heck yeah," I grinned.

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[Jiraiya POV]

There he was, talking with Tsunade… probably thinking he's so cool because he has a fan club, but I will show him that I am also cool, "Raiden!"

"Yes?" Raiden smiled, as he turned around to face me.

"Let's have a battle amongst men!" I challenged him, this was a field of expertise he had no hopes of defeating me. Then, after defeating him in manhood, I would defeat him in shinobi...hood, is that a word? Will check later.

"I guess I have enough time while I wait for my salad," Raiden hummed.

"You little…" I growled under my breath, he was so sure of his victory he assumed he was going to defeat me in under a minute, "Let's start then!" as soon as I said this, Raiden flickered in front of me, kicking me out of the restaurant, as he weaved his hands ready to attack with a water style Jutsu, but before he continued, I shouted, "THAT IS NOT HOW WE MEN FIGHT!"

"I… I'm not sure I follow," Raiden said, narrowing his eyes at me.

"This is not a shinobi battle, that will come after our delicious meal," I grinned, a devilishly handsome grin if I do say so myself. "A battle amongst men is… this!" I grinned once again, this time taking a drawing from my coat of a beautiful naked woman, "Only a true man can do something like this,"

"I somehow feel dirtier than when I got to the village," Raiden sighed, looking at the drawing.

"You pervert!" Tsunade growled in the back, as Orochimaru sighed.

"Do you give up?! Do you declare me the winner of this battle!" I cackled in mad blissful delight, Raiden had no way to defeat me in this realm, I was the supreme pervert that ruled over the men and women of Konoha, I had the lewd power with me!

"Hmmm, well… I can beat you, but… not sure how everyone will react to that," Raiden chuckled, and I froze… he was confident, not he had to be bluffing, he wasn't a pervert if he was my pervert radar would've caught it up.

"How… exactly," Hiruzen sensei, who was bleeding from his nose at how detailed my drawing was, asked.

"Raiden…" Tsunade sighed, nodding with approval, "Defeat this pervert on his own game," Tsunade was supporting him! Foolish woman, I was a god within this reality!

"Ok," Raiden sighed, weaving some hand signs, "Summon: Succubus!" as soon as those words left his mouth, a beautiful almost naked demonic entity appeared, her thickness, her breasts… K.O, blood spitting everywhere, I laid on the ground as the sweet world of darkness embraced me,, I cried, not because Raiden defeated me once again, but because he had shown me the meaning of perfection in its purest form.

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[Raiden POV]

It seemed that summoning my succubi was a bad idea, I not only knocked out Jiraiya but Hiruzen, the sheer amount of blood they had lost was ridiculous, and yet, that was the least of my problems, for Tsunade, Mito, and Hiruzen's wife, who he had married while I was away, Biwako, were angry at me.

"You told me to defeat him," I sighed, as Tsunade and the rest of the females in the party fumed at me.

"I know what I said… but this is… have you… you know!" Have I wha… oooooh.

"No Tsunade, I have not fucked my summon, that would be disgusting on many levels, and morally questionable… I mean, she follows my commands to the letter… so I am pretty sure no consent would be real," I sighed.

"What purpose would such… summon have?!" Biwako exclaimed.

"She can charm individuals under a genjutsu that attacks… the most primal instincts we have," I answered.

"Interesting," Orochimaru who was unaffected by my summon smiled, "A summon that traps enemies under the carnal desires, it's brilliant."

"Whatever it is, unsummon her!" Tsunade apparently was not so on board with my succubi.

"Sure," I shrugged, doing as I was told.