Study Time

Learning is an inherent rule which all life adheres to, there is no life form which can stop learning during their lifetime. The only state which comes after stopping to learn is decay.

Well aside from the macabre thought of just dying to finally be free of this vicious cycle of learning. I have decided to do something which I should have done long back. I now understand that living just for the sake of living is nothing but a waste of oxygen. Why do I have such an extreme thought on this topic you ask?

Well it may be because I have met the protagonist of this world. Naruto, he doesn't have it easy, he is bullied, belittled, abused and ignored. Yet he still smiles and works towards his goal. He does what I never did, even when I had such an opportunity to live a life most people just dream of, I never made any effort to live it fully.

I have learnt something so important just by observing him, since the day I joined their class I have seen a phenomenon, named Naruto Uzumaki. The boy doesn't know how to give up. He just continues to carry on and work towards his goal. I had deliberately kept a low profile since the first day. My lack of training in the classroom setting for a long time had become a hindrance to learning. And cherry on top is the ever arriving deadline for my personal crucible for ninjutsu test. I was so focused on my personal issues, that I never gave importance to others and their problems.

This selfish way of life is what I have lived since as long as I can remember. Where my problems are always more important than others, my needs always triumph over others. The epitome of selfish desires is what can be considered survival through any means possible. If you think on shallow terms that what is wrong in trying to survive, but have you considered why you should survive. And this is where I believe I have found the answer.

The reason for living, the reason for getting up regularly and doing what you do. This reason will always be personal and these reasons are generally identified as life goals. The goal of becoming a hokage seems far-fetched for an orphan with seemingly no connections and resources, but what does it matter even if it is impossible. The thing which matters is the journey, your daily life will have meaning to it, you will work towards something more than your selfish desire of survival.

This lesson is what I learned which I feel will change the way I live my life, and what decisions I will make going forward. I have regrets for the loss of life of the uchiha clan, my efforts to save the few people connected to Izumi seemed such a big change that feels so small now. The selfish desire to keep the timeline intact had me blinded by the small fact that the object of reference itself has changed, which will make the experience different even if everything remains the same. So basically from the start itself, boxing myself within a predetermined narrative has me losing innumerable opportunities of making a difference. This is the goal of my life to make a significant positive impact on as many people as possible.

My goal seemed much simpler and vague when compared to the goal of becoming hokage, but the process of working towards it will bring results much quicker and continuous. This type of lifetime goal will help me have more regular feedback towards success and failure.

The practise of ninjutsu has not progressed as smoothly as I had hoped for, as though I have been healed of disbalance, but it is to the extent of only stopping my excessive Yin chakra to eat away my physical health. The Yang chakra is currently acting as a barrier regulating the Yin energy. If you want to picture my constitution it could be pictured as a black Circle with thick white border and that dark pond of Yin Energy is churning.

For three basic jutsu's thaught at konoha, Clone jutsu and Transformation jutsu can be considered Yin Chakra Heavy Jutsus with a little of Yang Chakra added to them for physical manifestations. Now the third one which is Substitution jutsu can be considered as Yang Chakra Heavy Jutsu with a little Yin Chakra added to them. Now it doesn't take a genius to guess which Jutsu has become Bane to my hope of graduation.

Anyway once I have resolved to work towards my goal, I was not as concerned by failing to graduate. I feel sense of peace after a long time. I have already started to notice the strengths and weakness of my classmates. This brings more clarity of team composition of three where shinobi cover each other's weakness. I cannot call anyone other than few people my friends yet, but still it is better than only knowing Choji.

Naruto has talked with me few times and he was pleasantly surprised to find someone who took his dream seriously and believed that he can achieve it. At first he thought I was making fun of him in a new way, but with consequent interactions he was able to see my genuine wish to see him succeed.

Naruto can be considered as a good friend at this point, I have already pointed out to him that his chakra control could be an issue with clone jutsu, and pointed out few fun ways he could use the chakra control to succeed, needless to say he started giving his all to the improvement. I have given him basic chakra control excercise of sticking leaf on his body, which blew up as soon as he started. It was like using fire hose to fill a cup with water. I was jealous and confused in how to guide him, but that didn't last long as I already have a solution with me. I asked him to try the same excercise with the special pearl mother gave me years ago, and to my surprise, although it was not an instant success but he was able to stick it for few seconds and pearl didn't explode. So gifting the pearl to Naruto was a no brainer.

Now Choji has a different issue, he was too gentle and timid for his chosen profession. If it was not for konoha I would have never expected someone like him to be a ninja. I had to take some drastic measures with him, I planned a hike with just two of us, and sneakily replaced his bags with mine. After reaching at some distance in mountains behind Hokage Rock, I asked him some guidance with Yang transformation, he was skeptical at first but started to show me the techniques. I can sense he was starting to feel hungry, I informed him I have to attend nature's call, and once out of his sight I casted a minor genjutsu, which will make him direction impaired after some time. Once I was sure he is not reacting against my genjutsu, I casted a major genjutsu on him which gives experience of time dilation. Now, I went and brought the pre-prepared live chicken, which I genjutsued into being quite and staying near Choji.

Choji was waiting for me since 10 mins under a shade of tree. But for him it should have felt like almost an hour and he was getting hungry, he checked the bags and was instantly furious and started cursing my name after finding books on wilderness survival in there. He started to look for me and I can see that he was just stumbling in the same area. After third time he started marking trees, I made sure to remove those marks. After almost two hours Choji was exhausted and collapsed, soon he noticed the chicken coming near him, I am not sure what happened, he snapped or something. As he jumped and caught the chicken, I was so shocked that I almost fell off from my hiding spot. Then rest is history, he cried and cooked the chicken following the guide and after what felt like eternity to him. I walked back tapped his shoulder dispelling genjutsu and asked him what was he eating. He was so angry but soon after he saw his bags with me, he felt sorry, that I carried his bags and I showed him that I tried finding him but he was not there. I also asked him not to wander off again and called off today's excursion. Choji was confused and sad. But I can see he has matured and realized the lesson which I wanted to teach him.