Fallen_Crown
The most satisfying Naruto fanfic in recent times sooooooo -Proper updates -AU=no otsuksukis -about a person transmigrated as Obito The mc's believe at the start might be annoying but it slowly got fixed its really fun story with great easy grammer, nice story development and a cool mc with a really great pace of development and NO he is not shipped with Kushina and not picking girls like potatoes. The mc aint a weak willed person and adapts really fast. AHH i am so hyped about the development SO HERES UR REVIEW:)
So yeah, I have been reading your story from basically the start. And I like what you did with it. The first few chapters (around 20 to 25) weren’t the best. It was good, as you explained about the world building, the different political factions that the MC needs to look out for, the introduction of other characters (That are not cardboard cut outs, and have their own lives and problems.), explaining why he thinks he could start training later (cause of still feeling that Naruto world works like the real world, of course, we won’t see five-year-old training themselves in the gym.) The later chapters, even the recent ones are just gold. Obito changes quite a lot after the Hospital Incident… he doesn’t want to help people at first… as he wants to survive, but then he looks at all the things that they did for him. And gets grips with the situation and goes for it. Sure he had help for the goat Kagami. I like the character development. How he sees his own flaws in thinking. I really like how you made a believable character. One who does mistakes and learns from them. It was great. And then later on, (after awakening his Sharingan) how people mainly the village and Uchiha clan start treating him differently. How clans that aren’t Uchiha are also expanded on. And I also like what you are doing with the Rokushiki techniques. Not just learning it by yourself, as you are making Might Duy and Guy rework the technique. (Of course, One Piece techniques shouldn't work perfectly right off the bat in the Naruto world, things should be different. And a good fighter can rework it. And I like the concept) All in all a great story. The grammar needs a bit of work. But I can see you fixing things here and there. As a writer myself, I kinda know how it’s hard to fix grammar issues when you are not a native speaker. Anyway, I will like the story to be a non-harm. But you can add two or even three wifus, I don’t think that counts as being in the haram category. But meh… your choice.
It's filler. At least the first 30 chapters or so. Author says they want to set up a few things but it is just repeating the same few things over and over again. Nothing happens. Nothing is set up. Well, a few things are set up, but it could have been done in like 10 chapters instead of 30. So, most of the fanfic is filler. at least in the beginning. might edit the review if things change.
I'm giving your fanfic 5 stars just 'cause you said "NO ALIENS" i f*king hate it when some author add aliens, new clans and they really add some new kind of dojutsu?! they seriously gets annoying as no author bothers explaining too much about the new types of powers they add to AU and How the heck are we readers supposed to know how those powers work i hope that it will be a good one...
Good story. Don't see that many grammer mistakes. A slow paced story, with MC who seems real. It's a bit of slow, but the new chapters had good actions. And I already love Kagami's character, a laid back my type of guy. Gives me Nara vibes. And who's Kunia? A swordswoman? lol, but yeah... she's also good character. Best of all is Grandma Mai, a grandma that's worried about his grandson. So yeah, looking forward to the story.
The story is good. Once you get past chapter 30 the monologues drop considerably so if that's annoying you then just power through. While the sentence structure is fine the author has a habit of butchering words/names or just using completely wrong words throughout the story. So you'll have to decide if that's something you want to deal with.
-grammar: nice -stability of updates: really good although am eager for more..... -story development: amazing is all I can say! -the mc's character is really interesting, i really like it! he wouldn't ignore anyone in need if he can help! although I like villains more I guess being a good person is not that bad :)(but I still find the too-good ones kind of- .....anyways.....)by the way he has a good grandma I really like her,hehehe... i know why Obito likes helping the eldery now........ one of the best Obito fanfics so far! pls continue author-san!!!!!!
The first chapter is too descriptive with unnecessary details. But after that, it was good. It's a pretty solid story with good pacing. Many complain about how slow it is but most good story in this site starts with a slow pace. I have high hope for this story. Keep up the good work. Ps.. Use grammarly. It really helps. Pss. Here's a cat gif
The idea is good, but the execution is subpar. •Writing Quality: Many, many mistakes. Typos, grammar, and sometimes plain incoherent sentences. Sometimes I questioned wether this was mtl. There doesn't seem to be improvement as of chapter 58. •Story Development: The pace is horrendous. Nothing happens in most chapters, it's just filler with minor events, then a chapter appears where suddenly MC learned new jutsus or some big event happened without us reading about it. The only good ark was the attack on the hospital, where the story seemed to pick up the pace, just to fall flat on its face right after. • Character Design: It varies by huge margins, some characters are well designed, and feel fleshed out, but other times characters are just brushed over, or act out of character. • Updating Stability: As long as author doesn't drop, it's all good. There are quite a few chapter already released, although, again, due to slow pace, it doesn't feel like much happens. •World Background: Quite a few inconsistencies again, but it's a 5 stars just because author got rid of the abomination that is Boruto. No aliens for the win!
Honestly it's one of the better Naruto fic on this site and has quite well written characters the only problem with this fic is that mc is an oc even though author says he is obito but except his name there is nothing obito in him and as the story is progressing he might not even get kamui which is his most definitive skill without which he can't even be called obito. Except for that this is a good fic. If obito gets kamui I will give it a five star.
I'm currently in chapter 174 and one only thing I can say is 😫 *french kiss* "masterpiece" and as of the grammar, it's good. it's worth it to read 😁, in the first 30 chapters might be trash or "not good" but trust me after that it's going to be good! and just like the author said "it's going to be worth it". (honestly I don't know if he said that lol) and that's all I can say 🐱 bye!