16 So professional children assassins are not mentally stable ?

"Hey, so you're my supposed... rival, huh ?"

"..."

"I mean you sure don't look the part, I actually thought you would be taller."

"..."

"But that's okay, what really surprised me is that you're a bona fide pacifist."

He pauses, while the other ANBU's look at us for a split second.

"What ? I'm an excellent natural sensor, I can't help myself. I sensed the revulsion and guilt you felt at seeing the dead bodies, how you felt self depreciation at yourself when you were sizing us up, looking for potential threats. I get it, I really do. You're only so good at what you do because you're a pacifist, every single thing relating to violence or killing or whatever screams at you, human beings find things they hate really obvious to see, and you hate what you have to see."

"..."

"And that's not the worst thing, all of 75% of your team is very mentally damaged, you're a pacifist, as we established, the white haired guy is so hurt that he's just working on autopilot. The brown haired guy is so traumatized that he's detached from his emotions, and the other black haired guy is... actually, very surprisingly, very healthy. So that's how Konoha does it, huh ? Great ninjas, bad, bad people. That should be your new motto, screw the Will of Fire or whatchamacallit."

"..."

"Oh come on, you can talk, the whole point of the silent protocol is not to divulge information, it's practically a moot point at this point. If I can get a decent personality assessment from your chakra, do you really think I don't know your chakra capacity ? Your affinities ? I can even guess at your chakra control through your abysmal ability to try to hide your chakra from me. Oh for god's sake man ! Stop trying, it's not worth it. Yeah, just like that."

"..." Itachi just turns towards Kakashi, and looks at Fuji after receiving a slight nod.

"Why do you want to talk ?" He says.

"Oh look at that, even your voice has that melancholic tone to it, you must get a lot of fan girls."

"And you don't ?"

"What ? No ! I'm handsome enough, but I actually talk to other people before they start fantasizing about me, makes me real enough that their image of me is different from the one in their fantasy. Let me guess, you just stand there, silent and broody, don't talk to anyone, and answer questions with grunts and hums ? I can sense the recognition in your chakra, I called it didn't I ?"

"You still didn't answer my question."

"Oh yeah, I just wanted to size you up I guess, I've heard a lot of talk about Konoha's prodigal son, I guess I thought we'd be able to relate."

"So, you are a pacifist ?"

"Not particularly, I might have turned out like that if I didn't know how to deal with the issues that we get from our proffession, most pacifists are the ones who can't find a way to deal with death. I bet the Sharingan doesn't help either."

"The Sharingan ?"

"Well yeah, all the legends and quotes about the Uchiha's Curse of Hatred, my guess is it's all because of your pesky Sharingan abilities. I mean, how could anyone miss the fact that all the "benefits" that the Sharingan gives you are just the perfect triggers for PTSD."

"What ?!"

"Oh yeah, the ability to perfectly memorize every kill, every death, and every unpleasant war experience with extreme detail, while all the happy memories that you have without your magic eyes, well, they're fleeting, not as detailed, you can't remember your family's loving smile as much as you could remember an enemy's scream while his limbs get exploded, neither your friends having fun with you as much as them dying on the battlefield.

The thing I find revolting with most ninja's is their reluctance to use their special abilities in mundane scenarios, so puppeteers open the doors with their hands instead of with chakra strings, a ninjutsu specialist won't use Katon jutsu to heat up his food or Fuuton ones to dry his clothes, and a Sharingan user won't use his Dojutsu while he's having lunch with his family, or playing with his friend, or teaching his little brother. Oh ! That last one really got you huh, you must be very fond of your little brother."

".... Yeah."

"Well then I suggest you start using your magic eyes of angst every time you have happy times, pacifists are only pacifists because they can't deal with their trauma, you awakening your Dojutsu so early just made it worse. And get some godd*mn therapy, you're lucky you people have a clan who specializes in the d*mn field. That goes for all your friends, by the way. The brown haired one probably already gets therapy, since he seemed unsurprised by that request. But the white haired guy ? He's really f*cked up. Maybe even more than you, so yeah, get therapy."

"..."

"What's up with the silence again ? I think we already established not to do that anymore."

"Hey Fuji ! Stop giving the poor ANBU's your usual rants and shut up ! We're here." Interjects Pakura.

"Alright ! I guess we're done here, see you later edge lord."

"Hn."

The ANBU shunshin out as we get to see the entrance to the village, with half of them feeling conflicted, the other half either detached, or amused.

"Well, that was a nice introduction would you say ? Hey ! Ebizo-sama, that should get you some negotiation cred, right ?"

"Yes, young Fuji, the new information will be quite useful."

"Cool, cool, cool, cool. No doubt, no doubt."

We see a sunglass wearing Jonin welcoming us at the gate.

"Welcome, Ebizo-sama, my name is Ebisu, and I'm going to be your guide today. Let's get to your quarters shall we ?"

"Yes, then we talk with the Hokage, let's get this over with quick."

"Yes, of course."

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As the Sannin and his three advisors discuss the coming negotiations, the leader of the team of ANBU appears right at the center of the Hokage's office.

"Report."

"The Mission was unsuccessful, the Nuke'nin were already dealt with by the time we arrived. There was also an unforeseen ... complication."

"Elaborate on that please." Replies Sarutobi.

Kakashi glances at the advisors, implying that the information may not be for their ears. Then he continues at Sarutobi's reassuring nod.

"The escorting team of Ebizo-sama was constituted of a team of Suna special forces and three jonin, Pakura of the Scorch release, Councilman Baki, and Fuji the Jade."

"What is complicated about that ? That was still within our predictions." Interjects Danzo.

"We underestimated Fuji's sensory capabilities, he managed to gather enough information from our team to make a detailed file just from our chakra signatures, it includes chakra capacity, chakra control, a very in depth personality assessment, and even our chakra nature."

"You're saying that he could have deduced Tenzo's .... special abilities ?"

"Hai."

"That is certainly problematic, that was a very big lapse of our judgement. You said complications though, is there something else ?"

"Yes, he might have also deduced a weakness of the Sharingan, one that we also considered, but what we didn't expect was the Uchiha's own ignorance of that weakness."

"Really ?"

"Hai, Weasel showed an uncharacteristic reaction to that revelation, his position in the Uchiha clan means that he should be knowledgeable about most of the characteristics of their Kekkei Genkai, it may also explain the general loss of motivation for Uchiha members after long exposure to combat."

"That is very worrying, we originally expected such a weakness, but we thought that the Uchiha had a way to mitigate it, like all clans do with their own shortcomings. Homura, make the appropriate changes in Uchiha shinobi's psych profile, a change in protocol may be required. Maybe obligatory therapy ? Koharu, you make a general recap of all Uchiha deployments, we can use their frequency to determine how much time we should give Uchiha members between missions."

"Hai."x2

*Knock**Knock*

"Hokage-sama ? The Suna delegation is here to see you."

Kakashi shunshin's to the shadows of the office, while the Hokage and the advisors stand at attention in preparation for Ebizo and the three Jonin to get in.

"Let them in."

"Hai"

*Creak*

"Ah ! Welcome Ebizo-san, I hope you found Konohakagure to be pleasant ?"

"Yes, quite cold too. But what can you expect when you're used to the horrid, horrid desert."

"Quite."

"..."

"And these lovely gentlemen must be Pakura-san, Baki-san, and Fuji-kun, right ?" He looks at each one of them as he says their name, pausing quite a bit while looking at Fuji.

"I heard quite a lot about them, exceptional shinobi, each and every one of them."

"Of course. Now that we're done with the quite pleasant small talk, I would like to inquire about the time of the official negotiations, our Kazekage can't do without my sage advice for too long, I'm afraid."

"Of course, how about tomorrow afternoon, you can use the rest of your time discovering our village's wonders ?"

"That is acceptable, although I'm not much for tourism, young Fuji might not be opposed to the idea, what do you think, Fuji-kun ?"

"I think that would be much appreciated." He replies while looking at Danzo's arm inquisitively, a brow raised.

"Fantastic, I'm sending Inu and Weasel in their civilian identities to show you the best places, it was good seeing you, Ebizo-san."

"Likewise, Hokage-sama."

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

*Next day, the inn's kitchen*

"So you add some salt, flip, add some more, then stir for a couple of minutes. And it should be done." Says Fuji to the inn's cook.

"Oooooh, that smells good." Replies the cook.

*Creak*

Fuji stops his cooking as he sees Itachi and Kakashi entering the Inn.

"Alright, I'll leave you to it, and remember ! Don't keep it sizzling for too long, you want it crunchy, not burnt."

"Ok, thanks for the tip."

"Hey ! So that's how you guys look, very unsurprising."

"Yo" Waves Kakashi.

"Hello." Says Itachi.

"Alright, so you're showing me the best places right ? I didn't eat yet, and I'm down for some Ramen, where's the best Ramen stand in the city ?"

"I know just the place." Replies Kakashi.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

*Sluuuurp*

"Ah ! That was the best miso ramen I've ever had, how do you make it ?!"

"Ah, secret ingredient."

"That's a shame, you could make a killing if you just expand the place and get some more hands. Although I don't quite understand why this place is so empty."

"Ahah, not a lot of people eat ramen regularly, so we have a fixed clientelle."

"Hmmm..."

*Slam!*

"Oi ! Old man Teuchi ! Another one !"

"Alright, Naruto-kun."

"Hey kiddo, you really should stop eating so much ramen or you'll stay short for te rest of your life."

"What do you mean kiddo ! You're a kid too ! Besides, I'm never gonna be short, because I'm going to be Hokage ! Dattebayo."

"Hahahah, if you say so, kid."

"Uuuurgh, Don't call me kid !"

"Alright, ... boy."

"Aaaargh !"

Meanwhile Kakashi and Itachi are just awkwardly standing next to the duo, with Kakashi inching his hand closer to his Kunai, contemplating attacking Fuji.

"Alright, I'm done, how about desert ? I'm down for some dango, who knows where I can find some ?"

Kakashi turns towards Itachi.

Itachi sighs.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

After going through the village, meeting Naruto at Ichiraku's, and coming across Anko on his way to the dango shop, Fuji is left by his escorts at the Inn hours before the nogotiations, where he's meeting Ebizo and co at his room.

"Did you find out something ?" Ebizo asks.

"Oh, a lot ! Is this room sealed ?"

"Yes, there are no listening devices nor malignant seals, and I'm sure you can sense any interloper who tries to eavesdrop."

"Alright, well, this was interesting, I think we have a conspiracy at our hands."

"Hm ?"

"Well for one, the civilians are aware of their Jinchuriki's indentity, but what they don't know is that he's the son of their beloved Fourth Hokage, quite a conundrum don't you think ? Konoha normally takes a different approach in terms of Jinchuriki, they usually hide the information from the civilians, with the latter being none the wiser, which means ..."

"That someone leaked the information to make the kids life miserable, but to think that Namikaze had a son ? Iwa would pay a fortune for the information."

"Or it could be good negotiation blackmail."

"Yes, quite."

"There's something even better."

"Yes ?"

"Well two things really, there exists a secondary special forces unit under Advisor Danzo, they all have highly complicated seals at their tongues, the only thing I could deduce from them is a silencing mechanism and a self destruction one that is tied to the former. They also act as spies and informants in this village itself, I sensed some of those seals on the matron of the local orphanage, and some at the main hospital, among other places."

"That's another bargaining chip, good job."

"Oh, wait until you hear of this. I sensed a lot of resentment from the local police force, and I also found out that the Uchiha counpound was relocated at the outskirts of the Village after the Ninetails attack."

"They suspect an Uchiha ?"

"Well, they are the only ones recorded to be able to put a Tailed Beast in a genjutsu, but it could also be a deserter. No, this is much more than that." He pauses.

"At the meeting yesterday I sensed that Advisor's Danzo's hand is not his, their chakra doesn't align, I also sensed a lot of other chakra signatures on his arms, kind of like .... eyes."

Ebizo raises his brows in surprise.

"Really ? You think he's using his special unit to target the Uchiha ?"

"Yes, that's the only explanation, a suspicion is not enough for this, he may be also using his influence to badger the Uchiha with complications, and with their renowned arrogance they will definitely plan a coup."

"Which will give him the opportunity to massacre the whole clan, and get their eyes for his own schemes...."

*Sigh*

"Konohakagure, always two faced, at least we're just blatantly stupid, but they just have to hide it behind their 'Will of Fire'."

"What shall we do, Ebizo-sama ? This information is highly sensitive." Says Baki.

"We use it, of course. I will use the existence of the special units and Namikaze's son as bargains in the negotiation. And send someone to call Danzo over, let's blackmail him too. There's no way in hell that Sarutobi is aware of his other actions. Let's get him to help our cause, it's also good for us that there's inner strife in their village, so don't publicize this new information."

"Hai."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It was a pleasure to negotiate with you this day." Says Ebizo to a constipated looking Hokage and advisors.

"Yes. It was a ... pleasant experience."

"Will you spend the night here ?"

"No, we're leaving straight away."

"Alright."

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

*At Konoha's gate*

"Alright people, we're running full speed towards the Land of Wind, let's get out of this place as quick as possible." Orders Ebizo.

""Hai !""

"Let's go !"