33 Chapter 33 : Icha Icha the Movie… You Want Me To Do What?! (8)

Onoki looked out of the window in his office as he stared at the buildings below, his current mind going through the conversation he had with Onato a few months ago. He had not seen the man again afterwards and was beginning to get worried; it was well known that his hatred for the Kiroii Senkouran ran far deeper than anyone else's. That he had not shown up for a mission or anything like he usually did in the past few months was worrying. A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Enter!" he ordered.

The door opened and in walked one of his messenger ninja who had a scroll in his hands, "sir this scroll came from Haru No Kuni."

Onoki frowned as he took the scroll; Iwa had not had any form of relation since they stopped exporting coal from them decades ago. What could possibly be there reason for sending them a message? "You may go," Onoki ordered the messenger who bowed and left. The old Tsuchikage unrolled the scroll and began to read the contents, his eyes widening with each sentence.

Dear Sandaime Tsuchikage-Dono,

I regret to inform you that as of several days ago your ninja Onato along with five chunin level shinobi were killed after an attempted assassination on my persons. Because of this I will be requesting 1,000,000 yen both to my account as well as another 1,000,000 to the account of Koyuki Kazahana for Onato's kidnapping and attempted murder of the Haru No Kuni Daimyo. If you do not comply with this demand I will be forced to let out the information that you attempted to murder not just a shinobi of Konoha but also a Daimyo, however should you do this I am willing to overlook what has happened here so long as you never attempt something similar and learn to keep your shinobi on a better leash.

From,

Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze

Onoki sat back in his chair as he felt his shoulders slump, this was a complete disaster. Not only would he have to pay all of that money in order to keep this from getting out and destroying his village by starting a war, but he also had to let the families of those men know that because of a man's lust for revenge these people died. The only saving grace which really was not a saving grace was that the person who was attacked would forget and drop all charges so long as he was able to hold up his end of the bargain. He closed his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his large nose, getting out several sheets of paper he began to write letters for the families of the deceased.

XxX

Omake:

Jiraiya and the director continued to stare at the room where Naruto and Koyuki were supposed to be filming in, they had yet to hear even a peep from the room and both were wondering what was going on.

"It's been nearly eight hours," the Director said, "what do you think their doing in there?"

"Hell if I know," Jiraiya said with a frown as he walked up to the door and knocked, "Oi! Gaki, are you and Koyuki-Dono going to get started or what!" when he received no response Jiraiya tried to open the door only to find it locked, unsure what to do Jiraiya decided that it would be best if he did not try to break the door down and incur the wrath of his apprentice. He walked over back to the director, "let's just leave them in there for now, we'll come back later and see if anything's happened yet."

Four days later Naruto and Koyuki had still not come out of the room and the two were getting worried, Jiraiya was just about to go up and break down the door. Just then the door opened and out walked Naruto and Koyuki; Naruto was sporting a rather large smile while Koyuki had frazzled hair, a noticeable limp and that odd after sex glow that all woman seemed to get after hot passionate sex.

Jiraiya paused in his walk as he gave Naruto a lecherous grin, "I was beginning to wonder when you would get out. I guess you two were just having too much fun, so did you do the scenes correctly?"

Naruto tilted his head to the side and frowned, "scenes?"

"You know the scenes for the movie?" Jiraiya asked.

Naruto looked over at Koyuki who gave him a shrug, "er… sorry I guess we forgot that we were even making a movie."

Jiraiya looked at the two before he fell over anime style.

Naruto grinned as he picked up Koyuki bridal style, "so what say we go take a shower and order some room service?"

When the two left Jiraiya got up and groaned as he rubbed his face, "Stupid gaki can't even remember he's making a movie, he had better done some amazing stuff in there or I'm never gonna have him film in one of my movies again."

Later that day both Jiraiya and the Director were found dead, the doctors who did the autopsy deduced that it was cause by massive bleeding of the sinuses. When they tried to figure out why they were given a tape which had been found in the VCR the two were next to, when the doctors played it they too were killed by massive nosebleeds. The video was of Koyuki and Naruto having sex for four straight days, several days later the movie was found by someone else who decided to put it on the market.

Many males ended up buying the movie only for all of them too die as well, thus became what was known as the great Icha Icha massacre.