7 Chapter 7: Sakumo Hatake

Sakumo Hatake was sitting near a bonfire, recalling the precious memories of his life. In the harsh world of a shinobi, life is often filled with bloodshed and cruelty, but Sakumo cherished the times he had spent with his son, Kakashi, by his side.

However, things had recently turned grim. He had embarked on an important mission but had failed. During the mission, Sakumo's team found themselves in peril. He chose to prioritize saving his teammates over completing the objective.

The failure of the mission, due to Sakumo's choice, led to him being ostracized by the village and even those he had rescued. He had contributed so much to the village, yet one mistake had made him an object of scorn.

He usually spent time talking about various things with his son, but Kakashi was on a mission, and Sakumo was the one who had sent him because he intended to end his own misery today.

He should have been alone, but for some reason, there was a kid roasting a marshmallow beside him.

"Who might you be, young man?" Sakumo asked with a small smile. He didn't know why, but he felt instantly comfortable around the kid, as if in the presence of an understanding soul.

"Names don't matter, old man. Humans are just born and then die, so names don't matter," the kid replied.

"Hai?" Sakumo was taken aback by the kid's statement. It didn't even make sense. "Still calling me old man? I didn't know I looked that old when I am just 28 years old."

"Your face tells a different story," the boy countered, a mischievous glint in his eye. He took a bite of his marshmallow, leaving a trail of gooey white. "You look like a dejected Japanese salaryman about to take a one-way trip to the sky with a rope for company."

Hearing those words, Sakumo's eyes widened. He looked at the kid, wondering how he had figured that out. If Sakumo were on a mission, he would have knocked the kid down, but since he felt he had nothing left to live for, he just wanted to enjoy a conversation with this dark-haired child.

The kid then scooted closer to Sakumo and spoke, "So what's got you down in the dumps, young man? You can speak and go before me. Fear not, as I am not one to judge."

Sakumo blinked several times, unsure if this was really just a kid. He was even younger than Kakashi yet sounded like a seasoned veteran.

However, more than anything, Sakumo needed this kind of company. So, he began to speak. Without holding anything back, he vented everything to the small child. He recounted the important mission and how he had failed it by choosing to save his comrades. He described how his failure had brought the village a great deal of trouble and how everyone around him, even those he had saved, shunned him.

In the end, he could not hold back his tears.

"So… that's what happened," Sakumo finished his story while wiping away his tears. He felt a little embarrassed crying in front of a child.

"It's okay, young man," the kid rubbed Sakumo's back with his small hands, "Real men do cry. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Sakumo was a bit speechless but eventually smiled. "Thanks, kid."

He was already getting used to this old soul in a child's body.

"Name's Yami Nara," the kid introduced himself, "But seriously, the audacity of those fuckers, abandoning such a precious soldier just because of one mistake. Especially those fucker comrades you saved, you should roast their dicks and feed them."

"You… shouldn't use that language…" Sakumo was again flabbergasted. This kid could even swear!

"Anyway, are you going to end things here? It would be a huge dick move, giving up your life like this," Yami raised his eyebrow, "And isn't your kid a prodigy or something? Don't you think he would get into drugs or something, thinking his father just went out to buy milk and never came back?"

Sakumo honestly had no idea what this kid was talking about but he got the idea.

"I-I don't know…" Sakumo sighed. The world had turned grey and he had stopped feeling anything for the people, but talking with this kid had brought him some light. He looked at Yami, asking, "What would you have done, Yami?"

"Me? I really don't know since I don't understand comradery or friendship," the kid looked at the fire as if recalling a past memory, "But if it was the whole world on one side and my homie on the other, I would choose my homie. I mean, if you can't stand for something precious to you, how could you stand for anything else? Shit, I miss Hiroshi. I forgot to tell him that some of his children actually share my blood."

"…pff! Hahaha!" Sakumo stared at Yami for a couple of seconds before bursting into huge laughter. He fell to the ground, laughing harder than he had in a long time. Never in his life had someone been able to amuse and bewilder Sakumo as much as this kid had.

Yami was taken aback by Sakumo's sudden outburst but let the White Fang laugh. After all, a good laugh is also a cure for depression.

The laughter finally subsided, leaving behind a pleasant ache in Sakumo's cheeks. He wiped his eyes and offered a genuine smile, reaching out to ruffle Yami's hair. "Seriously, kid, thanks. You needed a head pat for that."

Yami swatted his hand away playfully. "Head pats? To me? Seriously?"

"Well, I can't exactly offer you a reward you'd appreciate right now, sir." Sakumo chuckled, bowing formally in the Japanese style. "My name is Sakumo Hatake, also known as the White Fang."

"Self-proclaimed titles, eh?" Yami mirrored the bow with a flourish. "As I already introduced myself, I'm Yami Nara, your friendly neighborhood old man."

Sakumo let out a hearty laugh. This kid was a riot.

"So," Yami continued, rummaging through his pockets. He produced a paper-wrapped package, the enticing aroma wafting from it a dead giveaway of its edible contents. "This, my friend, is my ultimate technique. Forget depression, forget your messed-up life – this creation can cure any psychological ailment."

"What is it?" Sakumo took the package, unwrapping it to reveal a small flatbread folded around an unknown filling. The scent of spices and chilies tickled his nose, an invitation he couldn't resist.

"This," Yami announced with a smirk, "is called a taco. Give it a try, Sakumo."

Without hesitation, Sakumo took a bite. An explosion of flavor – spices, meat, and a fiery kick of chilies – flooded his mouth. He closed his eyes, transported to a world of vibrant colors, people in wide-brimmed hats and flowing robes dancing and celebrating.

"W-what is this?" he stammered, heat warming him from the inside out. "This is… incredible!"

"Heh," Yami chuckled, pride radiating from his grin. "My ultimate masterpiece, perfected over twenty years of taco-making expertise." He produced a bottle of milk. "Milk, if the heat gets a bit too much."

"Thanks, man." Sakumo polished off the taco and washed it down with a swig of milk, letting out a contented sigh. "That hit the spot. You got more?"

Yami's smirk widened as he pulled out four more wrapped tacos. "Those were just samples. Here's the deal: twenty Ryo each. I also have two milkshakes left, fifteen Ryo each. Discounted price, just for you."

A spark of recognition flickered in Sakumo's eyes. Of course, a Nara wouldn't be above a little business strategy.

"Makes sense," he mused. "Money's no object. Give me everything."

"Excellent choice, sir!" Yami chirped. "Thank you for the deal."

---

"KHH!!!" Sakumo choked back a gasp, his face paling faster than a ghost. Two decades in ninja wars, countless battles, a mountain of severed heads – none of it compared to the fiery inferno erupting in his gut.

"Oh god," he wheezed, clutching his stomach. "My ass is burning!"

The delicious tacos of the previous night were now enacting a brutal revenge. Sakumo felt a terrifying premonition – his ass would be going to melt in the toilet.

"This can't be happening," he groaned, his voice laced with a mix of self-pity and sheer terror. "It's not even his fault! But Yami, just you wait! Argh! Oh boy, here it comes!"

And so, under the watchful gaze of the moon, Sakumo Hatake's anxieties and depression took a fiery plunge into the toilet bowl.

The following morning, he would be found wandering the village with a big profound Brazilian ass in the village.

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I am back to write some comedy scenes. How was it? Also get me some stones!