38 Cycle of Hatred

Souei laid on the bed, his eyes blinking open as the soft rays of dawn filtered through the curtains of the hideout, casting a gentle light on the room. He had his hands positioned behind his head, using them as makeshift cushions, being careful not to strain any of his injuries.

He gazed at the wooden ceiling above, the dull ache of his wounds reminding him of the fierce battle he had fought just days before. The memories of that fateful day, including Aunt Chiyo's death, remained etched in his mind.

Souei closed his eyes as tears threatened to spill, but he forced them back before he shook his head. It wouldn't help anyone if he broke down all of a sudden.

Gradually, Souei pushed himself into a sitting position, his muscles protesting the movement. The room he's in was simple, its walls wooden and slightly decrepit from years of enduring the harsh rain.

He noticed the faint sound of voices coming from outside the room and decided that he's slept long enough and it's time to finally talk with his saviors.

Upon stepping into the common area of the hideout, Souei was greeted by the sight of Yahiko, Konan, and Nagato gathered around a small table, sharing a meal. Their faces, aside from Yahiko, lit up with smiles as they noticed him.

Nagato was the first to speak, his voice welcoming. "Good morning, Souei. How are you feeling today?"

Souei offered a grateful nod. "Better, thank you. I appreciate your help."

Konan gestured to an empty seat. "Join us for breakfast. We left some for you, I hope you like fish."

Souei smiled at the offer, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "That sounds great, thanks." He took a seat, and the wooden chair creaked beneath his weight as he settled in.

As he reached for a pair of chopsticks and started to eat, the atmosphere relaxed, and despite Yahiko's obvious apprehension, the conversation flowed naturally. Nagato was the first to ask, his voice filled with warmth. "So, Souei, tell us about yourself. What's your life as a ninja been like?"

Souei was quiet for a while, it wasn't a question one would usually ask a shinobi, but he decided to humor them. He began to share snippets of his life as a shinobi, from his early days of training to the battles he had fought in the ongoing war. Nothing too deep that would reveal any sensitive information.

"I've been a shinobi for several years now. Some of the most memorable missions were the ones where we had to protect our village from threats, like rogue ninja or bandits. But it's not always about combat. I've also been on missions to gather information or negotiate with other villages."

He also spoke of the camaraderie he had with his comrades, with Nagato and Konan contributing to the conversation. He then told them of the hardships of being on the frontlines, and the weight of responsibility that came with being a ninja.

"It's the life every ninja is fated to have." He started slowly. "You fight, you kill, and you lose those close to you. A universal fact that none can change."

All three, being orphans of war themselves, noticed the hidden pain he had in his voice. But none chose to comment on it.

"Guess you can't really complain. It's war after all, you kill and kill and you have to expect your enemy to do the same to you." He said as he took a small bite of the fried salmon. At this point he had been talking for ten minutes straight, and he was shocked that he didn't feel a single thing. "Vengeance really is a fickle thing isn't it? I'm sure you realize by now but I lost someone quite important to me just recently. And now, all I could think about are ways I could hurt the person who killed her. But I couldn't hope to do that with my current strength. So all I have to do is just bide my time, train up a bit more, then the day will come when I have that old man begging for mercy."

It wasn't a damn lie either. It was a vow he made just as Chiyo succumbed to death. One day, Onoki would pay. A new name on a list of individuals he had marked for death. Second after Sakumo Hatake.

The Ame trio were stunned to hear Souei's words. Yahiko, the most vocal among them, broke the silence as he spoke for the first time. "But what then?"

Souei turned to him with an eyebrow raised in question. "What do you mean?"

"After you get your vengeance, what then?" Yahiko reinstated, his facial features took on a look of defiance.

"I get my vengeance and then I move on, as simple as that." Souei said, uncertain where this was leading.

"But what about someone that's close to the person you killed? Won't they want revenge too?"

"If they do, then I'll just try my best to not die and kill them back."

Yahiko persisted, his voice tinged with frustration. "But then when does it end?!"

Souei, who was kind of getting frustrated with the line of questioning, retaliated. "It ends when everyone who wants to kill me die themselves!"

Yahiko's eyes flared with exasperation. "So that's it?! You're just gonna keep killing until there's no one else left to kill?!"

Souei's grip on his chopsticks tightened as he leaned forward, his voice edged with frustration. "At least I'm doing something! What's your suggestion then, huh? To just let this all go?!"

"I'm saying there's a better way!"

"And what's that?!"

Yahiko grew silent, his mind trying and failing to come up with a solution. The table was filled with tension as they waited for his response.

"This world isn't forgiving. It's cruel and it's horrid, but that's what we ninja are for. We endure. We try our best to turn away that cruelty from affecting those that we wanna protect. That's my creed, one that I'll never turn away from. No matter what anyone says."

Souei then immediately stood up, sending his chair clattering back. Appetite now fully gone, he muttered a quick 'thanks for the food' before he turned and walked away from the trio, ignoring the looks of concern from the other two.

.

.

After that small confrontation with Yahiko, Souei believed that he needed some time to think. So he sat down on the roof of a building just looking into the view of the village.

"You sure don't mince words, huh kid?"

The sudden voice caught him by surprise. He turned around to see Jiraiya, standing there with his arms crossed.

He couldn't help but tense slightly, he knew he was outmatched, and he was still much too injured if they came into a fight. But he forced himself to calm down, if Jiraiya wanted to kill him, he would have done it already.

"You're Jiraiya, right? I remember meeting you back in the Chunin Exams. You're Minato's sensei."

"Yep, that's me." the man chuckled. "How are your injuries?"

"Healing. I guess I have you to thank for that, right?" He asked rhetorically, knowing that Jiraiya was the one who patched him up. "Why did you do that? We're enemies and our countries are at war. Why did you help me?"

The question was met with a shrug from the older man as he walked up to sit beside Souei, the two of them now gazing at the towering skyscrapers of Amegakure. "You seemed like a good kid. Besides, Konan was already dead set on helping you. I can't disappoint my students now, can I?"

"...Thanks. I owe you one."

"Anytime kid." A soft silence emanated from between them before Jiraiya decided to break it, broaching a certain topic. "I heard the conversation you had with Yahiko earlier. The person that you lost recently, it was Chiyo wasn't it?"

Souei whipped his head around, shocked. "How did you-"

"The news had already spread. I just heard it recently," Jiraiya explained. His eyes held a depth of understanding as they glanced at Souei. "Funny thing is... the reports said that you died along with her, along with hundreds of shinobi from Konoha and Suna."

"I see." Souei's voice remained surprisingly calm, considering the pain those words brought. It had been a few days since the battle, and perhaps he had grown numb to the feeling.

That reminds him, that scroll from Chiyo, he hadn't had the chance to open it yet.

"I also heard you talk about wanting vengeance," Jiraiya continued.

Souei glanced at Jiraiya, wondering where this was going.

"I won't fault you for feeling that way. It's natural after all, wanting to kill the man who killed someone close to you. But I do agree with Yahiko on this."

Souei scowled. "What would you have me do then? Just forgive him? It ain't that easy."

"Never said it was, kid," Jiraiya responded, his eyes locked on the horizon. "All I'm saying is that Yahiko had it right about one thing. If or when you kill this person, then the people close to him or her would want vengeance on you in retaliation. Friends, family, anyone. Then if they do manage to kill you, your friends or family would kill them back to avenge you. It's a never-ending cycle of hatred, one that I've seen many times throughout my life."

Souei paused, his brow furrowed as he thought of Jiraiya's words. "What should I do then? I can't just let it all go. It isn't right."

Jiraiya sighed at that. "I don't know. That's the one question I could never find the answer to." He then looked up. "How could one find peace when there is so much death and destruction in the world we live in? How could one understand one another if we don't know what it's like to be in another's shoes?"

Jiraiya then looked at Souei. "You also have to remember that we are at war. How many people have you killed throughout this war? How many people are missing their loved ones due to you killing those that were labled to be your enemy?"

Souei couldn't answer.

"Every single person you meet at the battlefield are there for the same reasons as you are. They want to protect their homes. They want to protect the people that live in those homes. The only reason you're fighting one another is because you found yourselves living in different villages." Jiraiya continued, each word resonating deep within Souei's mind. "Peace will only ever be achieved once people start understanding one another. Once we are able to put aside our hatred, only then could peace be achievable."

Souei stayed silent, his thoughts churning

Jiraiya chuckled. "You know it's funny, I once talked about all this with Ishito. We accidentally met each other in our respective missions, traded a few blows, then we got to talking. It was the first time I met someone who shared my own goals, to create peace. Ever since that day, we became friends…sort of. Never really could understand that stoic bastard, did he think we were friends? Well I certainly did. In any case, it gave me hope for the future. The fact that someone from another village shared my views was assuring. It meant that there really was hope. If more and more people take on our beliefs, then perhaps that version of peace we've been working on won't be such an impossibility after all."

A soft smile adorned Jiraiya's face and Souei simply felt his eyes widen. No words would come out of his mouth, his thoughts and emotions in turmoil. Jiraiya's words had touched a nerve, and Souei was left with a sense of unease and uncertainty, a nagging question about the path he should take in a world rife with conflict and death.

There were no more words said between them, simply because Souei found no words he could say. The sheer charisma and weight behind Jiraiya's words stunned him into disbelief.

He remembered Ishito-sensei's words from a long time ago, back when he just became genin.

"My dream?" Ishito questioned. "My dream is something that I've been working to achieve ever since I became a shinobi. It is to bring peace towards the village I call home. A lot of people doubted me for it, saying it was nothing more than mere fantasy. Perhaps they're right, perhaps not. In any case, I don't intend on giving up. Either I succeed in doing so, or I die trying." He announced, gaining a wide eye stare from all three students.

"Who knows, perhaps one of you will inherit this silly dream of mine one day." He gave them a soft smile, before disappearing in a Shunshin.

'Maybe…' Souei thought with doubts filling his mind as he gazed upon the expansive village. 'Just maybe…'

_______________________________

AN: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Really loved that tidbit between Jiraiya and Souei.

Coming next: Opening the scroll, and perhaps some light training. We also see a glimpse of something a lot you have been wanting to see for a while.

Advanced chapters on my pat_reon page! Make sure to check it out!

Leave a review and some power stones!

Cheers!