13 Trip to Konohagakure II

I felt almost no resistance to the movement. The knife only stopped when the wedge-shaped blade got caught between the two ribs. I pulled out the knife afterwards and felt my hands start to shake.

The warm blood from the stab squirted onto my chest and hands. It was sticky and smelled coppery. I forgot to back away and just stood there as the blood continued to spurt out of him and onto myself.

His eyes lost their angry look, yet the chains never let him fall. I didn't know what to feel.

I took my first life, but using a knife is different. Shooting a gun is impersonal; arranging a hitman is so removed that you barely think about it.

Here, I felt his life, felt his blood. I saw up close the anger in his eyes, saw it disappear.

I was shaken from my reverie by someone picking me up. Rationally, I knew it was my mother; no one else would. She said something which took seconds to compute.

We were off the boat in a few seconds, and cold, salty water was used to scrub my face, hands and chest. Her words finally computed.

"I will hate you forever for this."

Those words weren't for me; they were directed toward Konya.

The cold scrubbing finally stopped, and a warm pair of arms wrapped around me. "Are you alright, Kane?"

My mother's soft voice tickled my ear as she tightened her grip around me; it felt nice.

"I don't know what to feel," I answered honestly.

"Don't worry about what you think you should feel. You just need to feel it. It could make you feel numb or seem like the action was meaningless to you. It might make you feel sad or powerful. It might make you feel scared because of how easy it was. It might have made you feel good because you killed someone who wanted to harm us. It doesn't matter how it made you feel, but you must acknowledge that you felt something. That is the first step."

I just stared out into the water and thought about her words. I paid attention to her words, the warmth of her hug, how her chains gave me something solid to stand on.

'How did it feel.'

"It made me realize how fragile we are. It was easy. I just pushed, and he died."

I felt her begin rocking me side to side lightly. I began to feel tears build in my eyes.

"Humans die easily. A shinobi's job is to learn the easiest ways to kill them without getting killed ourselves. It is a messy job, and most die along the way at some point or another."

I felt the tears that gathered begin to fall down my face. I took her advice and didn't try and fight them.

"I feel sad. I felt powerful. It felt good. Isn't that bad? Am I bad? Shouldn't ending someone's life be harder than that?! What if he was important to somebody? What if he had a family?"

I was yelling a a certain point, crying, stamping my feet. I wanted to hit something. My chest hurt, and I didn't know why.

No, that wasn't true. I knew why: grief.

'I knew killing wouldn't be easy, but it was. Dealing with the aftermath of killing, that is what is hard.'

I also knew this feeling wouldn't disappear; I'd just learn to deal with it.

'I truly am in a world of killers. This is the harsh reality of the fantasy world. Death is common. I never understood that until now. I see why Naruto wanted to change the world. I can also see how Pain became who he was. This messy world has too much suffering. I'll leave changing it to him. I just want to keep my family safe.'

I just let everything out, and then when exhaustion reached out its arms, I welcomed them.

-

I woke up on the ship, still wrapped in a hug. Only there was another pair of arms around me. It took me a second to realize who it was; Kushina had joined in our group hug at some point.

I made a mental note that I owed Suto largely. I can't imagine growing up without my family. 

I couldn't help but laugh aloud at that thought. Family, something I found merely as a convenience in my last life, had become something that I would fight tooth and nail for in this life.

"I'm glad you are feeling well enough to laugh again, Kane." 

My mother's voice surprised me. I didn't realize she was awake.

I turned around and smiled at her. "I just remembered why I did it. Bad things make you appreciate the good even more."

She returned a bright smile which reached her eyes and ruffled my hair. "Wise words, little man. Come on, we need to wake up your sister and join the others for lunch. We arrived at the port a few hours ago. We were just letting you sleep."

I began to poke Kushina's face and squish her cheeks until she woke up with a frown and swatted my hands.

"Quit it," she grumbled in a sleepy voice. 

"I'm hungry, and you're pinning me. Get up." I went back to poking her face until she got up with a growl.

Her long hair was messy and stuck up in strange places. She also had patterns on half of her face from the clothing she balled up for a pillow.

I let a small chuckle escape at her appearance, which earned a glare from her.

Now that I was free, I ran up to the deck, where there was a table set up and six people sitting around it. There were another three empty spots set for us.

I knew everyone at the table, but I had only met 3 of them. There were our escorts from Uzushiogakure, of course: Konya, Nitta and Suto.

They were sitting with the squad of Konohagakure shinobi. There were two men and one woman. The woman was a blonde wearing a short grey kimono with a dark green Haori; she also had a comically large chest, which seemed to defy gravity.

One of the men was sickly pale with bad purple eyeliner and long black hair covering half his face. He was wearing a black and white kimono tied at the waist with purple fabric; it wasn't as short as the girls thought.

The third man had spiky, untamed white hair and distinct red marks under his eyes. He wore a grey kimono with a flame pattern on the cuffs and hem. He had the shortest kimono of the bunch, which exposed the grey pants that both men wore.

 He also obviously looked at the girl's chest twice in the small amount of time I spent looking at the trio. They were the future legendary Sanin.

They were all enjoying a meal of roast meat, boiled eggs, rice and a broth. I didn't wait for an invitation and joined the trio. 

A/N:

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