32 Return to the Village

"What?!" Sakura screamed, while Naruto and Sasuke couldn't believe what they were hearing. Their sensei had tampered with the feast?

Kakashi folded his arms and grinned. He could see the Scumbag notifications popping up and down. This feels so good.

"If we wait here too long, someone will definitely come looking for us."

"Why did you do it, Kakashi-sensei? They trusted us." Naruto asked, frowning deeply, not being able to understand anything. Sasuke was still on the ground.

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Because I can," he said, spreading his arms wide.

How would they think that he would give out food for free, and at the expense of his scumbag points? Dumb asses, He thought.

Earlier last night, he had thought deeply about how to gain his points while losing them. His mind had suddenly drifted to when Naruto needed medicine for eating too much sweet stuff.

Buying enough sweet food to cause a diarrhea epidemic in the village would finish his scumbag points, with him gaining so little.

He killed the idea, and decided to go through his system scumbag shop. That was where he met his trump card.

Laxatives.

If he could mix laxatives in the meals he was to serve them, he could turn the Land of Waves into a Land of Shit. Plus, it was a promising plan as he gained points for each villager that would be affected. It was an amazing plan, the best he had ever come up with.

"This is ridiculous," Sasuke said, unable to control himself, wondering what the hell was wrong with Kakashi-sensei.

"You could've killed them because of your scummy actions, not to think about how the image of the village would be aff…"

He was cut off, as he Kakashi took out a kunai. 

"I think you should rethink how you should speak to me. I'm your sensei, got it?" Kakashi said, while Sakura and Naruto gulped in the air. 

Kakashi-sensei could be scary at times, especially now, Sakura thought, shaking her head. Kakashi grimaced and his eyes crinkled, clapping at the same time.

"Alright, but first, we need to leave. If they find us we might be beaten to death. Not me though, you kids. But I'm responsible for you, so let's get going. I'll tell you my reasons on the way," Kakashi said, and jumped up, aiming for the trees and weaving through them. His students picked up their packed bags and followed him.

The silence was deafening along the way.

"Nothing is free. Believe me when I say they deserved it."

"They deserved it?" asked Naruto, " I don't understand."

Kakashi chuckled under his breath. "They were unwilling to work for themselves to improve their own quality of life."

Inwardly, he added: 'I also invested a shit ton of points into them, and I needed to gain it back somehow.' 

"What do you mean?"

Kakashi stopped and paused on top of a tree, trying to justify his acts.

"After Zabuza and Gato were gone, the least you would expect was free volunteers to gather up and fix the bridge, since they would benefit from it in the long run. But they didn't. They still wanted to pay for fixing their own lives. Very pretty selfish if you ask me."

Naruto nodded his head, like everything Kakashi said to him made sense. It was wrong, but right, in a certain kind of way.

"So you did it as a punishment?" asked Sakura, folding her arms.

"Yes, and for other reasons best known to me," he said, smirked and zoomed off again, the rest following him. He turned back to look at Naruto.

"You said you want to learn my scummy ways, right? Then this is lesson number one, always have trust issues."

"Trust issues?"

"Someone you just met once decides to do a whole lot of stuff for you, with nothing in return, how would you react?"

"I think I'll be creeped out," Sasuke chipped in.

"Yeah, exactly," said Kakashi, grinning behind his mask. "But they weren't. They didn't even question my intentions. Did they think I'm a good person? I'm not even close. How careless would they get?"

He has a point, but this is ridiculous and manipulative as hell!, Sakura screamed in her mind, For all they know, it wasn't just the adults, the children also partook in that fucked up shit feast. He's making an excuse for almost killing an entire village and y'all are okay with it? Did he even think of Inari?

Wait no, this bastard was even willing to push the kid into the water… 

She gritted her teeth, unable to say anything. She just hoped no one would die from this.

"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei," said Naruto, giving a wide smile.

"So, we can poison anyone that doesn't want to help themselves, and they should just die on the spot?" Sasuke said, in a very sarcastic tone.

"Always be ready as a Ninja. Poison? Throwing shit at their faces? Do whatever you need to kill your enemy and make them suffer!" Kakashi drawled.

"Okay, Thank you, Kakashi-sensei," said Naruto, beaming. He had definitely learned something amazing today. 

Sakura and Sasuke rolled their eyes.

These two, would definitely be the ruin of us, Sakura thought, as they flew in between trees, on the journey back to Konoha.

* * * * *

It took them a long while to get to Konoha, taking little breaks on the way. The atmosphere had eased up among them, and they had made little jokes on the way.

They were exhausted, and the three kids went to their respective houses. Kakashi went straight to submit the mission report to the Hokage– not because he cared, but it was because he wanted something else.

The Hokage, Hirunzen Sarutobi, was seated at the desk in his office when Kakashi came knocking in.

"Kakashi, it's you," said Sarutobi, his wrinkled face forming a warm smile. "Your mission took longer than the normal time limit. Is everything okay?"

"Yes sir." He answered curtly, handing the signed mission paper. Sarutobi glanced through it and nodded proudly. It was a A class mission that they had cleared under the duration of two weeks. Sarutobi signed on the paper, and put it in a file, waiting to be documented. Kakashi cleared his throat. Sarutobi looked at him through his thick glasses.

"I want to retire from being a Ninja," Kakashi said, in a matter of fact tone. Sarutobi was shocked.

"Why?"

"Because, I'm not suited for it,"

"Go home and think about it. You are not allowed to quit today." Sarutobi refused Kakashi's request. How could he let such a strong ninja quit? This is really detrimental to their forces. 

"I'm not interested," Kakashi said, his voice getting a tone deeper.

"Silence!" Sarutobi yelled, hitting his both palms on his table and standing up, glaring into Kakashi's eyes. He wondered what in the hell got into Kakashi? The Kakashi he knew would never quit being a ninja. 

Kakashi grinned inwardly. Oh, this old monkey is sooo mad.

"What would become of your students?" Sarutobi asked, as Kakashi turned to walk out through the door.

"I don't care about them. Give them to someone else like Tenzo. He has the wood release anyways, he can control Naruto much better if something ever goes wrong." He said and walked out of the office. 

"What about Sasuke and his Sharingan?" Sarutobi asked with extremely furrowed brows. 

"Don't care. Got it to the second Tomoe, and if he wants more, he can just come to be and I can shove my kunai up his ass," Kakashi said before turning around and leaving.

"???" Sarutobi was mind fucked by Kakashi's words. Surprised at the news and at Kakashi's tone. This sudden change is so… abrupt. 

"You ARE NOT ALLOWED TO QUIT!" Sarutobi yelled from behind the door as Kakashi closed it. Kakashi was already doing such good work! Why did he want to quit?? Sarutobi couldn't understand. 

As soon as he was outside, the scumbag system activated a road map for him to his residence. 

This really made sense, as he had woken up in the land of waves. He also didn't receive much of the original Kakashi's mundane memories, so this extra service was nice. Cool, he thought.

He walked straight ahead, following the directions the pointer was giving him. He whistled, and then laughed out loud as he remembered the Hokage's reaction to him leaving. He was going to write a retirement letter, and live his life to the fullest. 

With the System to help him, he didn't need to go out on dangerous missions and be restricted by the village. 

He approached an apartment that's filled with other ninjas coming in and out and the pointer stopped moving entirely before showing his room number, which was on the third floor. 

He quickly went to it and opened the door and was welcomed into a shitty furnished space. The room walls were cream in color, and it had black couches and black curtains. The floor is made of wood… 

Everything was so clean, but where the fuck is the Hatake Estate? Kakashi groaned in his mind. He wondered if Kakashi sold the house where his dad died. 

The other room was his kitchen. It was the smallest of the three rooms. It had nothing much, just the usual utensils, and a lot of processed food.

His room walls were white in colour, and it had a desk, Two bookshelves filled with books of all sizes. His bed was dressed in red sheets, which struck him as odd.

He looked around, fascinated and pleased by what he saw.

Suddenly, his bathroom door opened– and a gorgeous lady, dressed in a scanty lacy bra and thong appeared, leaning on the bathroom doorway in a very provocative pose.

"I have been waiting for you for a long time, daddy."