31 Land of Shit
"Don't move far away from me," he ordered, facing his three students squarely, "we only have ten minutes."
"But," said Sakura, "You just agreed to stay tonight,"
"I lied," Kakashi said flatly "So what are you going to do about it?"
Sakura shook her head, while Naruto and Sasuke looked on. He must have a good reason for this, Sasuke thought, chewing his lower lip. Things felt odd when last night, just after dinner, he had slipped them notes, telling them to pack their things in the middle of the night and leave them in his room.
He had also instructed them not to partake in the village feast the next day. They had obeyed, and now they were out here, empty handed, with Kakashi-sensei acting as If they were absconding from the village.
"In two minutes, we are using the substitution jutsu before we dip," Kakashi said calmly, stretching his hands.
"What?" Naruto said, wondering what was going on. "What are we substituting with?"
"I didn't brief you guys earlier. Do you see those four wooden planks in the forest over there? Switch with those," Kakashi said as he pointed at the planks at the entrance of the bridge which were slightly hidden in the forest.
"Okay Kakashi-sensei," they chorused in unison, As they awaited his signal.
Immediately the signal came, they all weaved hand signs and shouted, "Substitution jutsu!"
They all disappeared, being replaced by the rough wooden planks.
They landed roughly on the ground of the nearby forest, except Kakashi, naturally. He landed gracefully.
Naruto had landed on his butt hissing in pain, while Sakura had landed on top of Sasuke's body, with her butt on his chest. She fought back to hide the blush that was creeping up her cheeks.
"Alright," said Kakashi, grining. He activated his system storage and brought out all their bags.
They materialized in the air and dropped to the rough ground with thuds.
Each of his students picked up theirs, giving each other looks.
"And now, we need to go, it'll start soon anyway," said Kakashi, flashing a wicked grin while jumping up in the air. The kids followed him.
"Would you mind telling us what is going on?"
Sasuke asked. He was usually the quiet one, so it meant he had reached the limits of his curiosity. Naruto and Sakura turned to face him.
Kakashi ignored him. What the hell did he have to explain to him anyway.
Annoyed, Sasuke took out his kunai and flung it at him, which Kakashi dodged, causing him to lose his balance. Naruto and Sakura were jaw dropped.
Kakashi was amused by Sasuke's audaciousness, but didn't hesitate to grab Sasuke and slam him on the dirt, putting his arms behind his back in an attempt to twist it. Sasuke squealed and struggled underneath him.
"Don't play with your kunai out of nowhere or I'm going to really shove it in your ass to evolve your Sharingan once more," Kakashi replied leisurely.
Maybe that's what I want? Sasuke muttered inwardly, hoping to not really want this. He didn't want to become a masochist just to gain powers…
Naruto folded his arms, watching the whole scene, while Sakura covered her mouth with her hands.
Immediately, there were echoes of screams from the village. He finally stopped, as his face turned up in a one sided grin as points began rolling in!
[ You have poisoned Tazuna with laxatives! +22 Scumbag Points! ]
[ You have poisoned Tsunami with laxatives! +22 Scumbag Points! ]
[ You have poisoned Inari with laxatives! +22 Scumbag Points! ]
[ You have poisoned villager A with laxatives! +22 Scumbag Points! ]
[ You have… ]
"I pulled a prank." Kakashi said evilly as he began walking away. Last night, he had prepared a huge portion of powder and mixed it in with the food and drinks. With the strong taste of the drinks and grease from the foods, he was sure that the Land of Waves people would not suspect anything.
* * * *
It had all started as a joke.
The sun was bright, the sweaty bodies of the people of the village gleaming while they danced and cheered.
The air surrounding the ocean was light and moving, making it feel more festive.
Most of the people had gone back for their second and third rounds of food, and the clones of Kakashi served them heartily.
Relishing each bite, they became more mesmerized and addicted to its delightful and savory tastes. They felt so grateful to the village Hidden in the Leaves.
Old man Tazuna had attempted looking for the real Kakashi, when the villagers had wanted to lift him up and undergo a parade, as a mark of respect to the one who saved the village, but he was nowhere to be seen.
He called out to Tsunami and Inari, and then they realized that they couldn't find Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke either.
He had assumed that they had gone back home, and he decided not to bother himself, as he went to have fun with his friends.
Tsunami felt like something was fishy, but she decided to stay quiet about it.
Among the dancing crowd, a little boy suddenly screamed, and bent forward to hold his stomach. He suddenly felt weak, and his legs gave out underneath him.
As he fell to the floor of the bridge, watery poop rushed from his asshole, splashing around the people who were nearer to him. The boy's mother screamed for help, drawing the attention of the people.
Just as they were attending to him, other children, including Inari, began suffering the same fate. As if on cue, the clones of Kakashi disappeared. Bewildered and confused, old man Tazuna ran home to find Kakashi.
He felt an ugly despair well up inside him, as he opened the doors to their rooms, and didn't find them there. Not only that, their belongings were gone.
Not even a trace of anything showed that they had come back to the house in the first place. He stifled back a sob and left the house, in search of the village doctors.
By the time he had returned to the bridge with the doctors, it had started to affect the adults too, including him and Tsunami. He was too weak to move, and some of the people who could move had gone to the bridge's edges to take a dump into the waves below… but some couldn't even reach the edge before releasing…
Watery poop filled the floor of the bridge, some dripping into the ocean below them.
This was one hell of a mess.
The doctors had already begun treatment by giving them salty water and hardened bread, to block off their bladders.
As Tazuna stared at Tsunami and Inari's weakened faces, and the faces of his people whimpering in pain, tears came to his eyes.
We have been duped, he said in his mind, as he mouthed a sorry to Tsunami. He didn't feel that it was right to go after Kakashi too… What if that menace came back?
