Who is fucking with me right now?

As I sit in the protagonist seat in the back of the class besides the window, I cannot help but think, 'It's been two years since I was reborn in this shitty world… at least I'm in Kumo and not in fucking Konoha.'

My name is Taka Kemuri, 12 years old, male, orphan, I live in Kumogakure and I have a secret.

I had a life before this one.

…

Anyways, I look toward my teacher and wait till I hear my name being called. You see, today is graduation day. Nothing special.

What I think is cool is that Kumo's graduation exams are different from the ones portrayed in Konoha.

In Konoha, you do a theory exam and the three Jutsu.

While in Kumo you have multiple-stage physical exams, theoretical exams, and the fun part.

The fun part is that, instead of doing the 3 E-rank justu, you learn Kawarimi, since it is useful in battles, and you can choose two other justu that are D-rank.

If you fail one of them, even if you fly through your other exams, you are out of the academy. If you want you can choose three, but the last one doesn't count if you fail since you already know the other two.

Do you know what I did?

I choose the three D-rank Jutsu. Why no one else chose them I do not know. I mean, it is a free jutsu. You don't even need to learn it. Just fucking copy it for yourself and start learning it when you can.

The three justu I chose were: Temporary Paralysis Technique, Body Flicker Technique, and a Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique.

They were the best choice for me since I didn't know my Nature yet. Plus, while only d-rank, these jutsu are very good.

"Team 10 consists of Karui, Omoi, and Taka Kemuri. Your jonin-sensei is Samui. Wait for him in training ground 3." Our used-to-be teacher said and the three of us stood up. Leaving the classroom, I use the shunshin and leave the other two alone.

Appearing on the training ground I already see our teacher. Blonde, blue eyes, big tits. It's her.

Walking towards her I hear her ask "Where are the other two?"

"Probably at the academy."

"Then why are you here so fast and not with them?" She asked again. A glint of accusing tone could be heard in her monotone voice.

"I used the Shunshin to get here."

"Why didn't you use it with them to get all of you together here?" She pressed again.

"You can do that?" Yes, you can, I just didn't want to.

Hearing me she just looks at me before nodding and murmuring "Yes you can, next time if you are called come with your teammates."

…

Sometime later the two others appeared both exhausted. It seemed that they were running for quite a while…Oh right, the 3rd training ground is far from the academy… shunshin is cool.

"Hey! Where were you?! And how did you leave us like that?!" Screamed Karui, in somewhat of an angry/not angry tone. Behind her, Omoi was eating candy and ignoring my gaze which asked 'Can you get her off me?'.

Bastard.

"I just got here faster."

"Well, you could've just used your shunshin with us! Why didn't you?!"

"I didn't know it was possible."

"Did no one teach you it?!" She screamed again.

"No, no one did." Hearing my answer, I felt as if the place got quieter, looking at Karui I could see that she flinched a bit. Why?

Oh, I'm an orphan. I forgot.

Anyways "So what now?" I asked Samui turning my head to her.

"…introduce yourself." She spoke. A couple of minutes later, no one said anything. Kumo having such loud Raikage had pretty quiet people, I like it.

As no one spoke our teacher spoke first "…My name is Samui, you will call me sensei until you reach the same rank as me. I'm 22. I use kenjutsu and my main affinity is lightning, my other affinity is wind and I think I will learn water too." Finishing her talk, she turns to Omoi.

"My name is Omoi. I'm 12. My main affinity is lightning, I like kenjutsu and I think I want to learn how to use two swords at one time. I like candy…" he finished and Karui spoke up second.

"My name is Karui, and I'm 12. My main affinity is lightning, and like Omoi I like kenjutsu… I like training and cooking too."

Samui noted the similarities between the three of them… Lightning, swords, and bland personalities.

Kumo- The heaven of emos.

Sighing I spoke "My name is Taka Kemuri, I'm 12. I never used swords and for now, I fight with kunai and use taijutsu. I don't know my affinity yet… My chakra control is good, I can do the tree/water walking so I am thinking of learning genjutsu with some medical ninjutsu on the side…I like good food."

Hearing me Samui I could see a trace of hope flash in her eyes. It seems like I was an exotic animal to her.

But I didn't give her much hope. Most of my characteristics were that of Kumo… So, I'll probably have a lightning affinity too and a sword later. 'I like water…I would like a water affinity.'

We'll see.

"How do you know tree and water walking?" Our teacher asked.

"I bribed some random nin that looked was at least chunin and asked 'how to be cool like him?'." I didn't do that. I just didn't have a good excuse. But lucky for me, she just stared at me for a bit before nodding and looking now at the three of us.

"For this month we will do D-rank missions and train together as a team. We will learn each other's skills and weaknesses…If you do well enough, I will reward you. We will now go and get our mission."

Well, I hope at least that we won't be chasing a cat or something like that.

///

[One month later.]

Well, isn't that interesting? "I look like young Snoop Dogg."

I was now standing in front of a mirror and checking out the new equipment that I bought after a mountain of D-rank missions.

Black sandals with black anbu pants. I also had the Kumo hoodie that every ninja in Kumo wears but without the armor part. Underneath I had a small chainmail shirt too. I didn't know how I wasn't sweating in these things. Chakra and genes are weird in this world.

"I will really need to grow out a beard later… I wonder if weed is legal here?"

…

Walking up to my two teammates I hear Karui say "Oh? What's the celebration for the new look?"

"Well, we have been doing D-rank missions for one month none stop…And I think that having a ninja outfit is better than the one I had before…It was latterly almost like a civilian." I answered her and sat down next to Omoi while taking one of his Candy Canes. I was becoming a slut for these.

"Good morning team, meet up at our training ground." Our teacher appeared and a second later she popped to smoke. 'Shadow clone.'

"Well, hands on shoulders," I say and put my hands on the two panicked teammates, seconds later we all disappear from our spot to the training ground where our teacher was.

As both of them drop from the passenger shunshin effect I walk up to our teacher and greet her.

"You know, you could go less fast to not make them so sick." She spoke.

"But it's fun."

"…"

After a couple of minutes of 'Breath in breath out' we lined up to hear our orders.

"Congratulations team you fulfilled the required qualifications to go on your C-rank mission…But we will do that in the next two weeks.

Today, I will give you to learn a jutsu that falls under your nature. Each of you will have a different one and after two weeks of training plus a satisfactory level of your jutsu reached we will get a C-rank mission." She finished and I swear I saw a small smile on Samui's face for a moment before she once again became emotionless.

She handed two scrolls to both of my teammates and with me, she gave me a paper.

"Do you know what this is?" she asked.

"…I guess this is chakra paper to tell me my affinity."

"Correct, pour your chakra in it."

As she told me to do, I poured my chakra excited while others around me watched, interested. Second, later we all became confused.

The paper became Ash. But it did not catch on fire or something like that. It became literal ash.

"…Sensei?" I said and looked at senseis puzzled face, all four of us were confused.

Extending her hand, she gave another paper. Doing the same thing, the paper again just became ash. Nothing more, but pure ash.

After a couple of minutes again she extended the hand again, now with a grey paper.

"This chakra paper is different. It will tell the exact natures of people who have…"

"Kekkei-genkai." I finish. This is something I didn't expect. Taking the paper, I glanced at my teammates who were now excited, looking at me as if I was a rare animal. 'Deja vu …'

Pouring my chakra into the grey paper I see as one side crumbled and becomes earth, another becomes soaked as water, another burned as fire, while the last again became ash.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…I have a kekkei fucking tota…I have Ash release?"

I look like snoop dogg while having ash release…brother, who is fucking with me right now.