1 That Ass

A/N: Due to certain issues that you probably know, the graduation age for the ninja academy is sixteen.

"Yuji! The results are out!" Kiba yelled as I jogged into the classroom.

"Really? Hell yeah! Let's go check it out." We began our journey to the notice board out near the staffroom. Our graduation results are out.

"Who do you think will be first?" Kiba asks.

"Uzumaki Naruto, obviously." Akimichi Chouji interjects as he joins us. Out of all the changes to the Naruto world, seeing a smart Naruto never ceases to amaze me.

"Dead last?"

I puffed up my chest like I was hokage. "Who else but the resident ANBU hopeful? It has to be me."

"I still don't get it," Kiba smirked. "How is being dead last supposed to help you enter ANBU again?"

"It's a secret ANBU exam. You have to maintain a delicate balance of being dead last without appearing weak. You won't get it. It's an exam for those with a higher brain capacity."

"Says the guy swindled into being dead last." Kiba guffawed.

"Swindled?" Chouji asks as he munched on his ever present bag of chips.

"I wasn't swindled, okay? I got the info from a jounin called Ebisu. It's privileged VIP info."

The information has to be true. If it isn't, that means I just spent the last 4 years acting like an idiot and destroying my ticket into the ANBU corps.

"And why haven't I heard of it? Shouldn't the clans have access to that information?"

"Come on, Kiba. It's VIP info. It won't be a secret exam if everyone knew about it."

"Okay. Did your VIP jounin tell you directly?"

"Well,err…" Ebisu didn't actually tell me. I just overheard him by chance talking about it with a friend of his at a restaurant. I mean, it has to be true. Didn't the fandom say something about that? Or did I read it in a fanfic?

Before I could continue, a sight appeared that made me loose my train of thought.

Haruno Sakura. Petite, pink hair, green eyes and one of the most magnificent pairs of breasts I've ever seen.

She was stomping towards us with fury in her eyes.

"Hello Sakura!" I waved at her with a big goofy smile on my face. It isn't a good idea to mess with an angry Sakura but you know the old saying; a touch of boobs a day, keeps the doctor away.

"Fuck off, Yuji!" She stomped by us as we all turned to stare at her ass.

"That ass." I whispered in awe.

"Amen, brother." Kiba could hear the wish in my voice.

One day. One day, folks. My hands will be squeezing that ass.

"Why's she so angry?" Chouji munched happily away.

"She's probably mad she didn't get Rookie of the year." Kiba laughed. "Naruto would probably hand it over to her if she just asks. Poor fool would do anything for a single kiss."

"We can't blame him. Have you seen that ass?" We all chuckled as we got to the notice board.

"Hey Naruto. What's up?"

Naruto stood in front of the notice board with a hand on his reddening cheek. Without his whiskers, he looked surprisingly handsome. Kishimoto must be rolling in his grave(even though he's not dead.) A Naruto who's not a jinchurinki? The gods must all be dead.

"Hey guys. Just checking out the rankings."

"And receiving a slap from Sakura?" I raised an eyebrow.

"She's just shy." Naruto gave his trademark grin as he scratched the back of his head.

"Whatever you say, boss." Kiba bared his canines as we turned to check the board.

At first place was Naruto, securing his spot as rookie of the year. At second place was Sakura. With Aburame Shino as third place, the current trinity was complete. And down at last place, right above the red line cutting off the failures was my name.

"Yeah!" I pumped my fist. "ANBU corps. Here I come."

"Still on about the secret exam?" Naruto chuckled. "If it were true, they won't accept you anyways."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You're not supposed to know the identity of the ANBU, so they recruit ninjas that no one will miss. If you become ANBU, everyone will know as you won't be with the regular forces." He shrugged apologetically. "If anything, the ANBU would've recruited already. In fact, some of the names below the cut off line might have been recruited."

"Damn." I hope that's not true.

"Cheer up. You'll probably get in…eventually." Chouji patted me on the shoulder.

"Yeah. It's not like I know the ANBU recruitment strategy anyways." Naruto nodded.

I know, I know. You're probably wondering. Where the hell is Uchiha Sasuke. Don't worry, he's not dead. He's just somewhere else. You'll meet him eventually. For now, let's focus on the matter at hand.

Naruto cleared his throat as we headed back to the classroom. "Say, Yuji, I heard a very interesting…rumor on the grapevine."

"Interesting rumor you say? What could it possibly be?" I grinned knowingly.

"I heard that you're trying to get your hands on a certain…weapon." Naruto matched my grin. "Is it true?"

"Well, not my hands exactly. My face."

"So it's true?"

"Yes, the rumours are true." My grin grew. "I'll be planting my face on Yuna sensei's boobs."

A/N: I know you all have questions. Naruto's not the jinchurinki? Where's Sasuke? How did Sakura get that ass?

Don't worry, enjoy the ride. All your questions will be answered in time.

What do you think of the story so far? Do drop a comment and leave a power stone and add this book to your collection.