9 Chapter 9: Meeting of the Minds V
"Is it wrong Haku-chan? To feel hatred for the people who've hurt me. Is it wrong to want to hurt them in return? Will you think any less of me?" Questioned Naruto as his head lay in the lap of Haku. They were in the clearing where they first met two days ago.
Naruto had a solemn look on his face, with hints of fear as he asked his companion this question. Haku on the other hand had that gentle smile of her face that caused his heart to flutter in joy.
"Never Naruto-kun. I could never think less of you. It's not wrong to feel these emotions. Everyone feels them at some point, myself included. It's a part of life.
What important is that while it's OK to feel them, one must never give into them. You have to accept that part of yourself. Denying it will only compound the feeling.
But you should never let hate overcome you. That's why I think it's important to fill yourself with love, to counter the hate."
Answered Haku with a beautiful smile on her face that made Naruto break out into one of his own.
....
Naruto smiled gently to himself as he recalled his angel and the words she spoke to him. It was almost prophetic when you consider the situation that he is in.
He could feel himself being felled with energy. He didn't understand fully when she said those words to him, as he had no understanding of love at that point, but now he understood.
Yami-Naruto, for his part was irked. His counterpart was not fighting back at all. And now he had this happy smile on his face.
"What are you smiling about?! Do you think this is a joke?!" Thundered Yami-Naruto.
"No, I don't think it's a joke." Answered Naruto with the same smile on his face.
"Then stop smiling. I hate that smile! It's the same smile that you use to cover up the pain those worthless villagers inflicted on us.
You might have forgotten but I haven't! You seem to have forgotten that for 13 years they treated us like shit. They knew we weren't the Kyuubi. They knew we were just the container, but they still scorned us.
They taught their children to do the same! Even though they knew this they still treated us like trash. No, they treated us lower than trash. They treated us like some lower life form that didn't even deserve existence.
We were denied the ability to pursue our own happiness. Apparently that was too good for us! And all you do is smile and say you will protect those same monsters who denied us for so long!" Screamed Yami-Naruto. The pain in his words were something that struck a chord with Naruto. These were his feelings.
His thoughts. Ever since he was younger, he had an aversion to thinking. If he thought too deeply, he would question why people hated him, knowing he would never get the answer.
He would question why he was the only one who wasn't allowed to be happy or have friends when he knew the answer would be too painful to bear. So he supressed the need to think too deeply, hoping to avoid causing himself too much pain. He smiled sadly at his dark counterpart.
"It's true. I used this smile to cover up the pain that we experienced.
I don't regret it though. I know that if I didn't, the pain, the loneliness and the hatred we felt would have broken us. You are right about those villagers though.
I see that now. But it won't change much. I will still smile through it." Answered Naruto. It caused Yami-Naruto to explode in anger at hearing his answer.
"How can you say that?! They've always deceived us! They made up random rules to shun us! Do you not remember the pain?! It was almost unbearable…I'm the only one that understands you!" Shouted Yami as he charged Naruto.
Tears were running down both of their eyes as they relived the pain and loneliness of their childhood. They both understood each other far better than anyone else.
As Yami got close to Naruto, he cocked his fist back to deliver a punch but never completed it as Naruto held him in a strong embrace. Filled with love and acceptance.
"How..? How can you accept them…?" Yami whispered painfully. Naruto just smiled through the tears.
"You seem to have misunderstood me. I know how the villagers treated us, and for so long I yearned for their attention, for their acknowledgement.
Even going so far as to pull pranks and wear this bright orange jumpsuit, although it's all they would sell to me, just to gain attention. Even if it wasn't positive. I didn't care, as long as they were looking at me.
I even neglected my shinobi training, being the dead-last, the dobe, because I was too busy trying to get their attention. Even though I now know it was in vain. You don't have to worry though. I finally understand.
I know that I can no longer run from all that which I buried within me. I can no longer push you away and hope they will accept me.
Because I already found someone to accept me. My existence was finally acknowledged by someone. She accepted me, faults and all, and returned it with unconditional love. The opinions and acceptance of the villagers are a shallow consolation prize now.
We hit the jackpot, when an angel, so pure and filled with love, gave us what we've craved all our life. From this day forth, I promise you, no longer will I smile just to hide the pain.
I will smile knowing that wherever she is, she is looking down at me and happy knowing that I will be free to be who I am because her love gave me the strength to. The acknowledgement of the villagers no longer matter. If they want to hate us, let them. But I won't give into my hatred, that would make me no better than them.
I will stand strong, and I will persevere. I will protect the village, not for the villagers, but because it's our home. It's where Teuchi-jiji and Ayame-neechan are, the same people who fed us when we were starving.
It's were Iruka-sensei is, the first teacher to help us and the one who allowed us to become shinobi. It's where jiji is, even though he lied to us, he still is the closest thing to family we have.
We will become strong to protect those few precious people that we have. But most importantly, we will become strong to fulfill the dream of Haku-chan, to ensure that none else suffer as we have. To end this cycle of hatred and violence. Don't worry any longer. You don't have to be alone anymore.
I accept you." Spoke Naruto with understanding and sincerity as they both cried, caught up in their memories. Yami-Naruto just nodded, with a content smile on his face.
Suddenly they both started glowing, they didn't move though and they accepted what was happening with happy smiles on their faces.
The light coalesced into one point between them, and shone even brighter causing the Kyuubi, who was watching with interest, to turn away.
When the light finally died down, there was only a single Naruto left standing. As he stood, his posture was straighter, more refined compared to the way he used to slouch before.
When his eyes opened, the same cerulean as before now shone with understanding, happiness and contentment. The Kyuubi allowed itself a small smirk.
[Well done boy. It seems you passed my test. How do you feel?] It questioned Naruto who looked at it with a smile, full of benevolence.
"I feel….complete. For the first time that I can remember, I feel was though there is no longer a struggle. It's like I found a piece of myself that I didn't even know I was missing.
My mind doesn't feel as cloudy as it used to. I feel clear and whole. My body feels like it's truly mine.
I can move it better than I ever have and every muscle and joint responds to my commands. My chakra feels different as well. It doesn't feel as chaotic as it used to.
I feel completely at ease with myself." Commented Naruto as he marvelled at the new sensations of his body, and his very being.
[That's because your body and mind are no longer at war. You are no longer rejecting yourself, even on a subconscious level. Your body and mind is now working in harmony.
Be proud boy, not many people reach this point in their life. I doubt even that old monkey you call Hokage has reached this level of self-actualisation.] Explained the Kyuubi.
Naruto just nodded his head in understanding and a little amazement at how rare what he accomplished just was. His head snapped up though when he thought about the Kyuubi's voice.
When he first came in here, he recognised a strange quality to its voice that he couldn't really explain. But now that his mind was clearer, allowing him to think better, he realised what it was. Its voice sounded almost….feminine….his eyes widened in comprehension.
"You're a woman!" Shouted Naruto in shock, his eyes bulging comically, as he pointed his finger at the colossal fox, who just broke down laughing at the ridiculous expression on his face.
[That's right boy! I'm the mighty Kyuubi-no-Kitsune, Queen of the Bijuu!] Replied the now identified female Kyuubi to his exclamation.
Naruto for his part got over his little shock and just stared at the Kyuubi, who was doing another ridiculous pose, with a deadpan stare.
"You totally made up that title." He pointed out. The Kyuubi for her part looked affronted.
[It doesn't make it any less true though!] She answered stubbornly with a pout that looked totally out of place on her terrifying visage. Naruto just shook his head in amusement.
"Man, I always thought the Kyuubi was a guy. Who knew it was a girl all this time." Naruto commented lightly.
He knew he said something wrong as the atmosphere changed immediately and an oppressive aura settled in the room. The Kyuubi looked at him with a dangerous glint in her eye.
[Are you saying that women are too weak to be considered the as mighty as I am? Are you a sexist boy?] She asked with a dangerous edge in her voice.
Naruto just continued to look at her with a deadpan stare, totally ignoring the oppressive feeling she was giving off, much to her chagrin.
"No, it's because your voice is deep and gruff, and unless you look for it, it's hard to recognise the feminine quality to it. Long story short, you sound like a dude. You should really do something about that."
Pointed out Naruto bluntly. The Kyuubi could feel a metaphoric arrow piercing her chest with 'masculine' written on it. She allowed her head to fall and her ears to droop.
[I didn't ask to sound this way. Do you know how hard it is to be a woman with this voice?] She asked with a pitiful voice.
Naruto started to feel a little sorry for her.
"Look, I'm sorry I said that. If it's any consolation, I think you have a very pretty voice." Naruto said kindly causing both of her ears to perk up cutely. She looked up at him with a searching stare.
