Birth
"Hmm... I open my eyes and see a woman looking at me kinda funny-looking. She is kinda good-looking, I guess, but I can't see too clearly. I see she has black hair and black eyes, and we are in a wooden house, somewhat Japanese style. Oh god, not these small people's houses. How am I gonna fit through the doors? I raise my arms and see two tiny-looking hands, raise my legs, and a glimpse at two small-looking feet. Oh shit, seems like I got transported to a random baby. I try making out what the woman is saying to me, but as I don't know Japanese, all I hear is some nonsense. She does seem to have a mother's smile, I'll give you that much.
The last thing I remembered before this was sleeping in my apartment, waiting for tomorrow's bodybuilding competition. I couldn't wait for the cheat meal after the show. I was 35 and living alone as I recently got divorced because I wanted kids and she didn't. I wasn't anyone too big in the fitness world; I did have some following on Instagram and TikTok, but nothing too massive. If I had to guess why I came here, it would be that I died in my sleep. It might have been the side effect of all the drugs I took. Seems like you can push your body only so far till you die. Only thing I regret was not seeing my first mother's face before dying.
Back to me being a baby, since all I heard was nonsense Japanese 24/7, my mind got tired and slept. The next day, I woke with me crying. It didn't seem like I could control myself. I guess a baby has primal urges and cries to get what it needs. I guess a stinky diaper and hunger does that to you. The woman, or I guess my mother, comes with a sleepy face and feeds me, and changes my diaper. Kinda felt awkward being aware of what was happening. She then sings me a lullaby, and I go to sleep to not hear this Japanese nonsense. Why couldn't I be born deaf so I don't hear this nonsense!
This cycle of waking up and crying repeated for a while. During this time, I met my father, I think, not too sure. Man looked at me with a stern look, almost like he didn't care, but he was only fooling himself; his eyes were a dead giveaway. He also had black hair and black eyes. He didn't play with me when my mother was around, but as soon as my mother was gone, he would put on a smile and throw me up and down. Man's trying to look cold in front of my mom. One time, my mom caught him and yelled at him for throwing a child around, I guess. We also have a maid that takes care of me from time to time.
As time went on, I could make sense of the gibberish Japanese language. I can only get simple words, but it's still better than nothing. and my name is arnold from what i could make out. Lets go I got a chad name. From my half-counting, today should mark the 15-month mark since I was born. It was at this point that I could walk around a bit, and my parents took me out a bit more than a usual stroll around the street, as we began going around the village for walking and parties. I began seeing some sort of Mount Rushmore. It had 3 heads. The nail in the coffin to knowing I was in the Naruto world was when I saw some kids practicing their substitutions jutsu in the park and the Hokage building. The Uchiha symbol clothes where I lived were not helping.
Fuck, I'm really a Uchiha in a world filled with murdering ninja psychos. Why couldn't I be born in a chill clan or better yet a chill universe? Why do I have to be in the anime universe where there is constant war? One thing's for sure, I would die rather than be a murder ninja. The only good thing about being in this universe was that maybe with the help of Kaguya's eyes, I could transport myself to my OG world to go see my first mom. But I would have to fight a fucking op space alien for that, or somehow sneak in and steal it while Naruto and Sasuke are fighting it.
Later on in the day, as we went back home, I went around my dad's room and went looking for ninja gear or a headband. It seemed like they were not ninjas. I couldn't find anything like that. I did find an image of my dad with another man that did have a ninja headband on it."