Sulk & Plot

I was hauled straight into an interrogation room.

Not a minute later, there were three more people in the room with me—two of whom I recognized as Ibiki and Anko—all apparently shouting questions at me. None of which I could understand. Rupture eardrums and all. Did those heal naturally?

I might have fucked up a little.

"Okay, okay, people let's all calm down. I have no clue what's going on here," I said, raising my hands from the table, which caused my head to start swimming again. "Whoah..."

The flapping mouths stopped and I thought I might have gotten something across. But then they all started jabbering away again. Sighing, I lowered my face into my hands, because I had a killer headache. The pressure wave that had blown out my ears was probably the cause for that as well.

I might have a concussion, I realized.

Sighing again I looked up, this time trying to focus enough to understand what they were saying. The Sharingan could read lips or something, right?

They all flinched back as the scarlet tint turned the world just that much clearer.

Right, Anko was saying something...

'Why did you put Hatake Kakashi in the hospital?'

"Huh, that's obvious," I began, pointing at her. "He was over three hours late to our meetings. Twice. The fucking asshole probably does it on the regular, too," I answered with full candor. Oh yeah, definitely a concussion. This was not the time to be mouthing off. "Also, I am probably shouting, because my ears got blown off. See all this blood? I cannot. Hear. A single. Fucking. Thing. Any of you. Are saying... Okay?"

That seemed to get across because Anko was grinning and Ibiki was scowling. Definitely not good.

Keep it together now, Sasuke... Oh hey, I finally started thinking of myself as Sasuke. Yay!

My eyes were drawn to Ibiki who was now talking, brows furrowing as I read his lips. Thankfully the man was at least talking slower now, enunciating more to help me understand.

"No, I didn't really mean to hurt him. It just sort of escalated. And I got knocked out from the blast, too." I waited as they wrote something down, a flurry of words exchanged that I didn't manage to read before the interrogator offered a follow-up. "Just the Great Fireball. And some sawdust in an enclosing scroll."

Great, now they were going to ask about where I had gotten the dust and the scroll.

And why the hell did it explode that powerfully? Did Kakashi do something?

At this rate, I'm going to be spending the rest of my life in a jail cell and my only hope for rebuilding the Uchiha clan will be Anko. Which, really, might be worth it. Because, hey, Anko and a jail cell, maybe with a few chains and some whipped cream, was literally the stuff of wet dreams, and—

"Ah," I said, realizing that everyone was staring again. "I said that aloud, didn't I? Yeah, uh, healers here pronto, please?"

Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed, rubbing his brow for the nth time that day as he looked through the two-way mirror into the interrogation room.

How the hell had any of this happened?

At least Uchiha Sasuke was not some kind of traitor or plant—as some more excitable voices had suggested—and no one had somehow intervened or sabotaged team 7's test. But of course, the fact that their village's strongest jounin had been put into the hospital by a fresh genin with only a handful of D- and C-rank jutsu remained.

He could scarcely believe it, even if Naruto and Sakura-kun both agreed on all the pertinent details.

Some days the hat just wasn't worth it.

As the medic-nin arrived to heal young Sasuke's many injuries, Hiruzen decided that he could not sit idly by any longer. Turning to the Jounin Commander, he shook his head. "At this time treat this like the accident it is. He is a genin and a child, nothing more."

Shikaku and Inoichi both looked pained.

"Hokage-sama, is that truly...? It will take years for the training ground to recover."

The eldest of the three shook his head. "If Naruto's follies may be excused as youthful indiscretions, S-rank secrets and all, then I do not see how this is any different. The trees will re-grow in time."

The younger ninja glanced at each other and then shrugged, accepting finally the order and the logic behind it.

"To think we had intended for our future generations to turn out stabler and more predictable by pushing up the graduation age..." He laughed dryly, then. "I do not think anyone foresaw just what would happen to those geniuses who would have otherwise become jounin by now, when left alone for quite so long."

"I... I do not think even the geniuses of the past quite reached levels like these."

Hiruzen gave a cheerless smile. "It bodes well for our future, then, doesn't it?"

Then a masked ANBU appeared beside them, whispering something to the Hokage who nodded. "Ah. It would seem Kakashi has woken up. Wonderful. Inoichi-kun, if you would, please have our indiscretionate youth brought to Kakashi's hospital room, healers and all. Preferably before our would-be-jounin-sensei thinks to escape his room again. As for you, Shikaku, have Naruto and Sakura-kun brought in there as well."

"Sir?"

"We must hear Kakashi's verdict for his new team, no?"

I was beginning to think no one really care about my injuries.

One minute I was getting the old glare and blinding lights interrogation, the next I was being carted off to the hospital. Just not apparently to receive any treatment, but rather to look over my sensei who looked more than a little bedraggled.

He was being looked over by a number of nurses, though for all the scuffs and bangs I could see—his entire left arm and shoulder being one big purpling bruise—he didn't seem like he was really all that hurt. Knowing Kakashi, he had probably fought through and walked off worse while on missions.

Sure, he was an ass, but he was also really cool.

"Yeah, uh, hey. I still can't hear anything," I said, pointedly speaking extra loudly, as I pointed to the dried blood next to my ears.

A hand on my shoulder made me tense and I looked around to see the Hokage, smiling down at me. Activating my Sharingan to read his lips in what I was beginning to think was going to be a habit, I slowly nodded at his words.

"Worry not, you will be cared for in due time."

"I guess I can wait a little longer..."

Ah, while I wasn't being thrown in a cell, it didn't look like I was quite clear of all charges yet. Was the old man letting me stew in deafness for a little while to make a point?

Pink overwhelmed my vision and I turned off my Sharingan instinctively. Sakura had appeared from somewhere and Naruto wasn't far behind. They were both saying something, but I didn't think it was worth reading their lips for so I just made what I thought were appropriate reactions.

"Really? Uh huh. That's interesting."

Seeing as how Sakura looked absolutely confused, it was probably working. Well until her gaze snapped to the Hokage and she went even pinker upon realizing that she had completely missed the aged ninja's presence. Doesn't that mean it's working? Boss ninja should be sneakiest of all. Then something he said must have wiped her embarrassment away, since she looked like she wanted to jump and hug me.

Probably told her about my ears blowing out.

"The peace and quiet are nice; really should have tried this out before in class."

I looked around for reactions, but it seemed as if everyone was looking at someone else. Realizing that Kakashi had been cleared by the medics who had started ambling their way towards me instead. It was hard to read Kakashi's lips for the next few minutes, since the medics insisted on being right in my face, but I gathered from the Hokage's reactions that it had to do with the test.

Looking at Naruto's nervous expression, I was pretty sure that team 7 wasn't going to be a thing.

A real shame, that.

But well, more time for training and innovation for me!

Suddenly the world snapped back into sound, as if the dial on a radio had been turned and tuned in to the right frequency. It was just with one ear, still, and I felt vaguely ill. But it was an improvement.

"—therefore, I do not think it is wise to leave him alone for the time being. He is a risk to the village, lacking any and all ties or bonds to keep him grounded, and worst of all he has no compunctions about abusing others for power."

"S-Sasuke-kun isn't like that!" Sakura weakly objected.

Oh, were they talking about me? That sounded like they were talking about me. And it didn't sound like anyone was particularly inclined to listen to her.

Genin corps, here I come!

Now, how to ensure I get my hooks into Naruto? Worst-case scenario, I reel in Sakura and use her as bait.

"So, what should be done about this, Kakashi?" the Hokage asked with plain amusement.

"As I said," the jounin sighed heavily. "He needs to be placed under watch, not be rewarded for his recklessness. He is in no way fit for active duty right now."

"Mm, I see... And you won't be the one to take on this task, then?"

Kakashi must have been shaking his head, judging by the crestfallen looks from Naruto and Sakura.

"They failed the test. Not even a shred of teamwork."

It sounded like an excuse, somehow. Like he was running away on a technicality.

The other ear popped and now I definitely felt ill. The world around me seemed to swim again, but using the Sharingan seemed to override most of that. Best superpower for sure.

"I see. What a shame... As it stands we really have no one else, no one who has any faith in them and their future. I suppose it cannot be helped, then."

A premonition.

Why was the bloody Hokage here?

Oh, no... Is the old man pulling a fast one on us? Shit, he is, isn't he? But there wasn't much I could do. Genins had no say in their teams, that simply wasn't how any of this worked. Why? Fuck, I was sure there wasn't anything political at works in the background! For fucks sake, they left me alone all this time, so I was so fucking sure, too!

My best bet was to just shut up and hope for the best. Because even at the best of times I wasn't exactly what you would call a smooth social engineer. And while I didn't apparently have a concussion, judging by the medics, I still felt that little bit of crazy hanging out at the back of my head, just waiting to screw me over somehow.

I had already practically propositioned Anko while in T&I, for fucks sake.

At least I still had the pleasure of hearing how uncomfortable Kakashi was, shuffling on the other side of the room. Knowing that I wasn't the only one unhappy helped; spreading misery halves it, because now you've got some happiness to offset it with - wasn't that how the saying went?

"But, well now. We still have not heard what young Sasuke has to say about this." The Hokage turned to look at me again and the medics obligingly got out of the way, allowing everyone in the room to see me again. "So, mayhaps you could tell us what drove you to, ah, such extents?"

We both glanced at Kakashi, whose glowering mien looked only marginally less pissed than he had been during our fight.

Speaking of, what the hell had I been thinking?! Why did I try to blow him up? That was not conducive to the 'fail the bell test' plan at all, in fact all it did was complicate shit. Fuck, it must be the Sharingan. But it's never done that before. Then again, this was my first real fight with it...

I cleared my throat, trying out my voice.

Okay, okay... post hoc rationalization superpowers, go!

"Since my best shot—combining my plan to lure him in with the Body Flicker and then getting him all tangled up with my Chakra Strings—didn't work, I might have reacted a little too enthusiastically," I explained, doing my best to sound sheepish. It wasn't particularly hard at the moment. "Since Kakashi-sensei was looking ready to quit, I figured I only had a few more minutes before the time rang out. So, I tried something I hadn't rested out properly. It was a calculated risk, which didn't pan out. So, uh... Whoops."

That sounded almost like it could be true.

Really though I had just wanted to see what happened. So many years just preparing. Little wonder I cut loose a little too much.

Even Kakashi looked like he sort of believed it since I hadn't really been trying to kill him during the fight. Not until the Grand Fireball anyhow. Everything before that could be filed away as my simply trying to bait him to chase me with the Flickers and for me to set up a reasonable attempt at getting the bells.

"Why didn't you seek the aid of your teammates, if I may ask?" the Hokage asked, running a hand down his beard. "Since, as you must have no doubt by now realized, the point of the exercise was indeed teamwork."

Naruto and Sakura looked chastised anew by the side, as if they had only now come to see that and realized how poorly we had done. Kakashi must have had his little speech by now and they were all assuming I had heard.

And I did get it, beyond just having seen the anime and being told as much. Teamwork worked; quantity had a quality all of its own. But we were shinobi—and it hadn't been teamwork that had brought us nigh-absolute supremacy in the elemental countries. After all, if it was just a matter of teamwork, then wouldn't the non-ninja who outnumbered us tenfold have the advantage?

Maybe they were merely missing the forest for the trees, though more likely, it was a matter of instilling loyalty into your highly volatile soldiers in the guise of effective tactics. Propaganda, in other words. Just look at Kakashi; he had lost everything, yet still to this day, he remained loyal to the village, honoring the memories of those who had passed away.

"Ah, well... They were both liabilities. Naruto created too many openings for Kakashi-sensei to abuse for me to even think about cooperating with him, and Sakura would only distract Naruto, creating more openings. Teamwork is fundamentally only possible between peers."

"I see, I see..." The Hokage answers, looking at the ceiling and then turning to look at Kakashi, who looked... somehow incredibly pained to hear that. "Now, doesn't that just sound familiar?"

"I..." Kakashi sighed, then looked to the side. "Naruto, Sakura... You did not happen to find the bells, did you?"

"Umm, no, Kakashi-sensei. We... We thought it best to bring you to the hospital as quickly as possible, and, umm, to look for Sasuke-kun," Sakura answered quietly, shooting me a glance in-between words.

The jounin sighed as the Hokage continued to radiate expectation, looming over the jounin with the damnable smile of his.

Fuck. I could see the resignation and acceptance as it clicked. What happened to the stubborn and irresponsible Kakashi that I knew? Since when did he get cowed into doing anything? Fuck, fuck. FUCK.

"So you placed the well-being of your comrades before your own good and that of the missionCongratulations, team 7. You pass my test."

FUCK.

I fucking hate Hatake Kakashi...

It was bad enough that he continued to be late and that we had to do D-rank missions, but he had also taken complete control over our training. All of our training. I had been forbidden from training outside of his supervision. That meant no Flickering, no Shadow Clones, no experimenting with chakra, and definitely no working on my new bow.

I had tried to train in secret, but Kakashi could sense my chakra reserves and would punish me for doing so. As a military asset, no matter how lowly still, wasting valuable resources like chakra without explicit permission was grounds for punishments of an incredible variety.

No training. None at all.

It was extremely aggravating, because the time after a fight was the most vital for improving—for leveling up as it were—by reflecting on it. It took training and hard work to be able to throw a punch that could break someone's jaw, but unless you got into a situation where you realized that it might be too slow or too obvious to ever actually land, you might never get it to a level where it was actually a useful addition to your arsenal. It was that kind of thing. Sure, the Sharingan had changed things a little, but in general the way my mind worked couldn't have changed that much. It was a realization I had had through training martial arts, fencing, and going to tournaments back before.

That you didn't suddenly become better when put on the spot. You had to work for it.

And the literature I'd read supported that view; you don't rise to the occasion, you fall back to your training.

Slow and conscientious training was the foundation for improvement - but for those dramatic, quantifiable leaps in skill, it was necessary to face a challenge and to reflect on what you could have done better and where you failed, and then correcting those faults. And boy howdy had I fucked up a lot against Kakashi, having gone completely berserk. And for what? What exactly did I achieve with that last stunt?

Nothing. I had just screwed up all of my plans.

And as a result, it would appear that I was being brought to heel.

I am so fucking going missing-nin if this keeps up.

They wouldn't be able to stop me. Fucking hell, I could fly over the ocean and stay on the move for the rest of my life if I wanted to by now. They would literally be physically unable to find me, much less catch me, if I just decided to cut and run.

Every day as I rose from my bed, these thoughts dominated my being.

I understood why Konoha was so damn insistent on teamwork—if not emphatically then at least intellectually—and it wasn't just because of the practical advantages in fights. It was about the Will of Fire mumbo-jumbo and about creating bonds. This was a village of professional soldiers first and foremost, forged by three major wars and through dozens if not probably hundreds of other, more minor conflicts.

And I had read plenty of stuff about how human beings handled that kind of shit back before.

I was well aware that I wouldn't last in a long-term conflict—whatever else I was, I wasn't a part of the 2% of the population who could just enjoy the ups and downs of war, those commonly known as sociopaths—because eventually, just like for all people, the mental fatigue would set in. Shellshock, PTSD, mental trauma. Call it what you will, it was a constant in human history, as was how warrior cultures fought and treated it.

The best way was simply having comrades. Equals who understood.

Brothers and sisters in arms, who knew what you were going through and who you could depend on and who would motivate you to keep going when everything else had long since burned out. Pride and ideals, patriotism and hatred, rigid discipline, and raging passions would all be ground to nothing, leaving behind only a walking corpse. Only your comrades could keep you going through hell.

But the thing was, I had no fucking intention of ever putting myself into that kind of shit. Because even with all that, that kind of trauma would never go away. I could see myself dying for Konoha. I could even see myself killing for Konoha. But I sure as fuck wouldn't grind myself down into a broken husk for Konoha, or cripple myself on a level too fundamental to put into words.

Because even though I was Uchiha Sasuke—I wasn't actually Uchiha Sasuke.

This wasn't my home. I had no family. I had no one and nothing I truly cared about in this place beyond the intellectual pursuits they offered. Only my distractions and obsessions.

So if push came to shove...

I could cut and run without hesitation, shame, or regret.

Which was why my seething fucking hatred of Kakashi only burned deeper with every passing day. I had thought he was a cool enough character back before, I had even cosplayed as him once to an anime con, but I had never really thought much of him beyond the surface. Because there hadn't been much to go on, given his rather side-lined role in canon as far as I remembered.

And the fanfiction I had read had rarely bothered with him either.

So the deepest my feelings for him went were 'he's kinda cool, I guess?'

Without the blanket of familiarity that Naruto had, nothing would cushion my growing resentment for the man as he continued to derive satisfaction and petty revenge with each passing day.

And speaking of the orange menace...

My team fucking sucked, too.

Sakura was still a useless pest and I barely paid her any fucking heed. I wasn't the same as the Sasuke from canon, yet her affections had changed fuck and all. I had planned to get rid of her by blowing team 7 to kingdom come, along with Hatake fucking-piece-of-shit-I-hope-he-dies-alone-and-unloved Kakashi. But somehow that hadn't gone down the way I had wanted. So now I was stuck with them. And her.

I had even planned this whole spiel to absolutely crush her hopes and dreams of dating me in my head. Something along the lines of reminding her that I wanted to rebuild my clan, meaning I was in the market for a broodmare, not love. That I'd want at least a football teams worth of brats out of her, and that I'd probably get a mistress or two on the side just to pump out a whole clan to really drive any romantic dreams of falling in love and having a happily ever after out of her thick fucking skull.

I wasn't above hyperboly to fuck with people, or to just make them just fuck off. Of course, if she was so damned pathetic as to accept a deal that goddamn raw...

I was actually a little scared to try the ploy out, because if she actually had self-esteem that damn low and held herself in such contempt as to accept, then even the smallest specks of respect and dignity I could ever have afforded her would be vaporized out of fucking existence. She was an annoyance, useless and loud, sure. But at least I could still accept her as a human being with some inherent measure of worth and potential.

So I really didn't want to know what she would say to something like that, holding back for now.

Meanwhile, Naruto's dislike of me wasn't only louder but also more vehement than in canon. Though how that was possible boggled my damn mind. I had tried to give him some advice during the few training exercises Kakashi did run us by, but those only served to further anger the blonde.

Apparently, without the bell test's original conclusion to bring us together, we were doomed to forever be like cats and dogs. And apparently, Kakashi considered it my fault, though how exactly that worked I had no clue, since I was the one receiving most of his illustrious attention.

I knew what they were doing, slowly wearing me down, trying to break me and make me conform, and there wouldn't have been anything I could do about it. Humans were social animals; exoteric creatures formed as much by their surroundings as anything else. Not just epigenetics, but social dynamics and the like. I wasn't a sociopath—I would eventually break down under their collective pressure.

Or would have, except for one little secret none of them had managed to realize.

Well, except for Naruto, somehow. Uncannily sensitive little bugger, that guy.

"You evil-eyed bastard!"

He was raving about Sakura again, or something. I was too tired to care. Mentally. Spiritually. Socially. In some capacity other than the physical, since I hadn't gotten to train properly since our team's inception and D-rank missions just weren't cutting it.

Anyhow.

During my fight with Kakashi, my Sharingan had matured.

Not just to two tomoes, but a fully matured three tomoe. Fully matured, all upgrades, all the bells and whistles, free milkshake with every order, Sharingan! Well, excepting the Mangekyo, but that thing made you blind, so fuck that piece of crap. And it wasn't a concussion I had suffered from. No, the source of my excessive volatility was in fact the Sharingan itself.

It was no longer a mere at-will switch-to-perfect-clarity-zone cheat.

No, it went beyond that, over-clocking my brain and body into something even further, above and beyond what we chakra-wielding superhumans could normally pull off; the livewire shocking pure adrenaline into my system and making the world snap into crystal-clear crimson clarity. Whenever I wanted to, whenever I felt the least bit down, whenever things weren't going my way... I could completely flip my brain chemistry back into that crimson madness that had ended up quite literally burning down training ground 3 into a cracked, blackened crater.

I had crack-fucking-cocaine on tap.

Cocaine in my vein, cocaine in my brain...

I had likened them to an instant zone button before, and it was probably more true than I had thought because when you went into the zone, everything else started falling away, chip by chip. Motivations, ideals, higher reasoning—all fell before the raw animal that lived only in the instant. It was the purest state of flow, but also a sort of unreachable peak for humans. I only recalled the fight due to the photographic memory of those self-same eyes, a sort of distant and impersonal experience that seemed as if it had nothing to do with me.

It was an insidious thought; what if every time I used those eyes, I would slowly surrender myself to them, more and more, until nothing of my original self remained?

And could I really trust the photographic memory of the Sharingan?

Would I recognize a slant or skewing of those memories without my own to compare them to? Would it be like watching an edited video of an event and allowing it to warp my perception of the past? I needed to test them out. Train with them, make and compare notes, see if I could find any discrepancies: learn to ride the wave, instead of being rolled over by it.

But I wasn't being given the time and space to do it.

No independent training. None at all. Kakashi had been very clear on that.

No wonder the Uchiha clan had always been thought of alternatively as a little unhinged or then completely removed from the emotions normal people felt, if we had on-demand, unfettered, no-restrictions access to uppers like this and were expected to jump back and forth between it and 'normal' because the red was a little spooky for the normies. No wonder they must have seemed like such stuck up assholes who cared about nothing and no one; I, as a perfectly normal, healthy and mentally sound human being, was having a hard time keeping from going off on mad cackling fits and rampages at the drop of a hat as it was.

Because with eyes like these... I could face off against the entire world, lose everything and then laugh it all off without skipping a beat.

God, every hit felt so damn good.

If they wanted their perfect little soldier, their utterly mindless and mediocre tool, then they could have it. Outwardly, at least. With the Sharingan, I could keep this up in perpetuity. Just close my eyes, count to ten and inhale, take a hit of the old sanguine mania and then keep on trucking as if nothing was wrong. Repress it all; shore up the bloodlust and keep it all contained until it was time to make it fucking rain again.

My canon Sasuke impersonation was getting pretty good, too. If I wasn't allowed to do anything, then I'd give them nothing in return.

"Hn," I replied to a question, barely paying attention.

Wait, what was going on? I could smell stale alcohol.

"—uper bridge builder, Tazuna!"

Oh. Oh! OH! NICE! Finally some fucking action! Wave mission! I hadn't really planned anything for it before the bell test and since then everything had literally been too shit for me to even care about anything, thanks to Hatake fucking Kakashi... But now that it was here, I could finally start kicking things into motion again!

Look bored, look annoyed, look resentful.

Give the fuckers nothing.

Because the good times are a-coming.

"Well, that's that. Go pack your gear and we'll meet by the front gate asap."

I could have gone scouting.

I could fly. I had told them all that I loved flying. I had showed Kakashi that I could fly. Did they bring it up? Of course fucking not. Did Kakashi do anything other than smile at me condescendingly when I suggested anything other than walking at a snail's pace. Hell, this would have been a perfect opportunity for Naruto to learn some bodyguard tactics and formations, since he hadn't bothered to listen to a word about it in the Academy.

A few dozen Shadow Clones wouldn't even make a dent in his reserves. So of course that was out, couldn't have anything useful or exciting going on, not for mere fresh genin. Was this some sort of hazing period? Some kind of tradition that the first half-year just had to suck? Some kind of object lesson of life?

I should have just failed the Academy graduation exams and gone civilian.

This shit wasn't worth it.

But hey, demon brothers ambush.

A chance to go on a bit of a rampage after all the time restricted to D-ranks? I'd bloody well take it. I had never before considered just how stifling having so much chakra could be until Kakashi had forbidden me from half-exhausting myself every day. I was pretty sure my conditioning had been regressing a little bit, too. Because why wouldn't they try to rob me of all my gains, right?

Aaand, there we go. Puddle in the middle of the road. Probably would have noticed it even without forewarning. Yup, definitely sense the chakra now that I'm getting closer.

And as expected, Kakashi got shredded to pieces—or his Replacement log did anyhow; he was really rubbing it in how much better he was than everyone else right here right now, wasn't he?—and then the Kiri duo were rushing for Naruto, who had frozen up.

First time facing naked bloodlust was like that, yeah. The wind of hate to kill is something else.

Sakura and Tazuna were equally useful right about now. Which is to say, not fucking at all.

But hey, I was already slipping into something more comfortable—something red, hot, and more-than-skirting the line of madness—so the situation was pretty much under complete control. With the fully matured Sharingan, it wasn't just a matter of slow-mo, it was precog too. And unlike with Kakashi who was a top jounin, these two chumps couldn't move so fast that I could barely keep up and thus not notice I was actually predicting things.

So, three kunai loosed from my right hand—razor chain stuck to the ground with a rapid series of thuds. They hadn't noticed it yet either.

Eight shuriken in hand, with a chakra string for each pair. Two shuriken to entangle their feet with the string and another pair for their arms, each.

Naruto was just falling on his ass, still reeling in shock and fear when the shuriken bola were launched.

The pair of chuunin had just time to realize I was throwing something when I flashed the half-tiger seal, exhale hot and heavy, new Body Flicker jutsu coming almost naturally despite having had no chances to integrate all of the lessons learned from Kakashi yet.

If the Body Flicker was risky because of how vulnerable it left you for a counter, then all you needed to do was set them in a checkmate before you used it.

I slammed forward into a sudden halt, double-clotheslining the pair of entangled Kiri ninja so hard that I could feel their respirators giving way beneath my arms. Feet touching the ground behind them, I stopped my Flicker momentum with just enough out of balance that I ended up spinning back around to face Naruto, the excess energy bleeding out with my foot dragging out a half-circle.

He was gaping, eyes wide and full of terror still, even as the demon brothers were in the air, doing an involuntary backflip from the force of my passing. I was going to treasure this moment in my photographic memory; the slow-motion realization of salvation in the blond's eyes, the spittle, blood, and teeth flying from a pair of mouths, the bunching up dark cloaks, and the awkward angle of their spines.

Picturesque.

I exhaled as the world sped back up again into regular. I think Sakura had just started screaming, only for the noise to die out immediately as the two ninja completed their backflips and hit the ground bonelessly. With a wonderful stereo of oof and crunch to go, as well.

Exhaling slowly, I realized wasn't just smirking. I was grinning. Oh boy, reel the bloodlust in now, Sasuke.

"...Oh no," I began. "Kakashi is dead, taken down by a pair of scruffy bums on the country road. What a shame."

JC Uchiha - Unatco agent, shades and trench coat not included.

"Ah, worry not my cute students, your beloved sensei is right here," the man in question intoned happily as he appeared behind me, lightly chopping the top of my head in admonishment.

"K-Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto cried out, not sure who to stare at with more amazement; me or his sensei.

It should have been me, obviously. Kakashi was just fucking around as usual. Something I would never do.

"So..." I began, before anyone else had time to vocalize some inane thought. "After they took out the highest-value target, the only one among us with a bingo book page—"

"Ah, I have a full spread, actually..." Kakashi corrected lightly.

Seriously?

That's kind of fucking cool. No wait, I hate you.

"—I'd like to know why it appeared as if they were deliberately targeting someone here in our group..." I continued, ignoring the scarecrow.

At that, Tazune suddenly looked incredibly ill at ease. But screw him.

"Something you'd like to tell us, Naruto?"

"Wha—!" He was on his feet immediately, spluttering confused denials.

I turned to Kakashi. "Sensei, Naruto is putting our client at risk. We should send him back. To the Academy, preferably."

The jounin, well aware of the fact that I hated his guts and never called him sensei unless it was in jest, merely gave me a patient look. "Now, now. I'm sure that's not quite the case here. Isn't that right, Tazuna-san?"

Eh, phooey, Kakashi noticed it too. Well, of course he did.

I again tuned out the rest of the conversation, only offering a "Hn," when they asked whether I wanted to continue with the mission. Inside I was humming and dancing, the chance to wreck some shit erasing my month-long depression without fail.

It's weird how conveniently similar everything is to how I remember it. You'd think something would have changed...

I'd barely been paying attention, just keeping low-key attention in case something did suddenly change, but so far nothing had. I wasn't sure whether to be amused or worried, since it was actually starting to look like there was some narrative causal correction force in play.

We'd landed in Wave Country, Naruto had sensed something, Zabuza had shown up and like a proper good chap had handed me the Hidden Mist jutsu on a platter.

Of course, it required water elemental chakra manipulation that was, frankly, beyond me at the level he was using it at. Given my poor affinity with water, based on experimenting with some jutsu I had copied back in the village, I doubted I could create a mist a fifth of his with this density before dropping from chakra exhaustion. So, much like with the Earth Swim jutsu, I didn't think I would be getting much use out of it.

But still, very nice technique.

And then the killing intent had hit me like a dump truck.

Holy shit!

It was a hundred times more intense than Kakashi's and I realized with actual surprise that my feet were shaking at the knees.

I almost missed how Zabuza formed a Water Clone in the middle of our formation and the subsequent fight between the two jounins as I tried to figure it out. Though I didn't miss that Kakashi did not reassure me that I was going to be fine this time - the dick probably thought it was just good that I was a little shook up.

Still... I was affected more than I thought, despite knowing that this was coming and having enough familiarity with all the pieces in play to nudge it any way I wanted. But even so, I was affected.

Why was that?

I had nearly died before, several times, and every time my reaction following it had been that of a pleasant surprise that I had survived. Or, well there was that time as a kid I shoved bigger and bigger stones into my swimming trunks so that I would get pulled to the bottom of a lake, and I very nearly drowned and then cried to my mom... But that was because I didn't have swimming goggles and couldn't find the swimming trunks after I took them off and I didn't want to walk around butt naked.

Maybe those times had been too fast to process, too quick for fear to settle in.

So how did killing intent work?

My knees were shaking. When had that happened before? I needed to figure this shit out, because Orochimaru would be pulling the same shit somewhere down the line, too.

I hadn't been scared that time with the drunk guy with the knife outside of McDonalds, nor had I frozen up or been shocked when that other time three guys ganged up on me. I had been scared back in middle school when I had been surrounded by a group of senior students and one of them—the one who had been stronger than me and wanting to show off—had wanted to fight one-on-one.

In fact, I was more likely to freeze up in a social situation when my jackassery backfired on me unintentionally.

Was that a function of social pressure or of my being given enough time to process it and be afraid? 'There is nothing to fear, except fear itself' or something?

But that wasn't the same here.

I reacted to naked hostility with hostility. I had gone through the mental conditioning back before, I knew the theory. People froze up when they were overwhelmed by a violent situation.

It was the hierarchy of human social interactions; most people are nice. Not kind, not mean, just sort of plain nice. These people fell prey to manipulative people, those willing to bend the rules and lie to get their way. Manipulative people on other hand crumbled before assertive people, those who had confidence in themselves and wouldn't stand for that shit. But assertive people couldn't help but shrink before the aggressive. And the aggressive often were just bluffing, never prepared for the assaultive, those who had no qualms about upping the ante and getting actually and properly violent. For most people, even the most macho of tough guys, it was just the monkey mating dance; of flinging poo and making a loud noise so everyone else would back off and you could strut around like a badass.

What lay beyond that was the highest of the hierarchy and most dysfunctional of all: the homicidal. Those who cut to the heart of the problem when faced with one and simply removed it, regardless of consequences. The cold, the criminal, and the callous.

Ah, that's right.

There were no consequences here. No rule of law or terms of engagement.

This wasn't middle school where getting assaultive in the face of aggression would get me in trouble, but not doing anything would lead to social shame. I wasn't a manipulative little shit, bordering sometimes on assertive, cowing before someone actually aggressive. So why was I still operating at aggressive and assaultive, when I should have been homicidal? The fuck do I care that this asshole wants to kill me? Whoop-de-doo, the world was full of people more than willing to kill me for just looking at them wrong or for the neat stuff in my pockets.

Fucking decision paralysis; stop fighting the last war. I can do homicidal too, just fucking watch me.

Sharingan spun to life, dousing my brain in petrol and tapping into all that repressed resentment and sparking my own bloodlust to match Zabuza's. The shaking didn't stop, in fact, it turned even more intense, but this I recognized as the red-lining of my heartbeat and my shaky breath - of fine motor skills deteriorating due to over-excitement.

Breathe, motherfucker, breathe...

Fuck you Kakashi, I had missed this so much.

"Sasuke, are you with me!?"

"Hmm, what? I was having a moment here?" I asked, suddenly realizing that Naruto had been shouting at Zabuza.

Oh, right.

Naruto's big nindo moment. Wait, didn't he need his hand stabbed for that? I had been hoping to keep him from making stupid promises like 'I'll never run away from a fight,' because that was just tactically unsound and strategically restrictive.

"I don't know about you, Naruto. But I'm right about ready to murder this fucker right about now," I replied instead, warming up limbs that were still shaky from restricted blood flow.

"Big words from a child playing at ninja, still shaking and cowering," Zabuza taunted.

I snorted. "Yeah, it must feel nice being able to transmit your emotions through the chakra in your mist. Demon of the Hidden Mist? Puh-fucking-lease."

Ram seal variant, one hand extended fully above my head, my chakra bleeding into the mist as my burning eyes continued to spin. I couldn't form the mist without good water element control, but I could make use of what was already there, hijacking the existing medium for my own purposes.

And suddenly all the chill in the air vanished. And I could read the plain surprise on both jounin as they felt it too. Zabuza used the mist as a direct medium for his killing intent, which amplified its effectiveness easily over Kakashi's.

Which, while effective, was just a cheap trick when you got down to it.

"This thing is a big empathy field, you pansy. A petty trick. I bet you use this to pick up ladies too, by making them think they're aroused, projecting out your own little pecker's standing attention at them, what with that ugly browless mug of yours turning anyone who even knows the word 'standards' away." I scoffed. "But whatever, Naruto, what's the plan?"

The blond, who had started to look annoyed at being ignored again, blinked and then grinned as he drew and spun his kunai. "Teamwork! Shadow Clone jutsu!"

"Weren't you listening to a word I said!" Kakashi was shouting, still engulfed. "Retreat! You can't win against him! That's an order!"

Ah, so everything's the same as in canon? I don't think I've ever done that double fuuma shuriken trick with the shadow before, so does Naruto know I can do that? But I think I can pull it off with the Sharingan if Naruto throws me himself again.

He was probably just going to wing it and pretend that had been the plan all along.

As it was the horde of clones rushed towards Zabuza.

Who was standing on water, still holding Kakashi in the Water Prison jutsu. And without a Water Clone on dry land to fight, the orange rush came to a sudden and depressing halt at the water's edge.

I had to snort.

Trust Naruto to rush forward towards an enemy he couldn't even reach.

But I could.

"Naruto! Pelt him with kunai and shuriken!" I shouted, passing the real one by in a rush as I got on the water, drawing a blade of my own. I wasn't going to even try tangling with that fuck-huge blade of Zabuza's, but that didn't mean I couldn't make him think I was.

"Hmm, brats running to their deaths!" Zabuza declared, his lone free hand rising to his sword's hilt, his intention obvious to my eyes of insight: cut me in half then hold the blade up to block the hail of throwing weapons.

Our eyes met.

And he jerked, realizing suddenly that I too had a Sharingan. A fully matured one—even if I didn't know how to cast illusions with it yet, no thanks for Hatake fucking-get-fucked Kakashi—but a Sharingan nonetheless. Didn't he notice it before? I guess at a distance it can be hard to see, but I had just copied his Hidden Mist jutsu, so what gives?

Rude.

Eyes slamming shut, he struck down with the blade with all the force of a log falling down a waterfall.

Too early! I grinned, the tip of the blade missing me by half an inch as it crashed into the water. So I sank with it, free hand going for the loop at the end as I submerged and pulled the chakra around me to hold me beneath the water, completely unalike how water walking usually kept me above the surface.

I could feel the panicked tug as I looked up; Zabuza had realized that his attack had missed and that I had gotten out of the way, leaving the Naruto-firing-squad with completely free range to open up and absolutely pelt him with shuriken and kunai.

Realizing that he couldn't pull free the blade with one hand and he couldn't move away from the spot while holding the Water Prison, he still refused to give up and went low on the water to use as much of the massive blade as a shield as he could from the projectiles.

Presenting his jugular near perfectly for my kunai. The serpent thrust I had copied from Kakashi was a variation of the Flicker-line of thinking, but at the same time its own thing, and it did not merely thrust silently through the air as it also worked wonderfully underwater.

Red bleeds into my vision and this time it wasn't only my Sharingan.

I realized that I had very fucking nearly just gouged Zabuza's throat out with my kunai, missing only at the last second on purpose. I still needed Kakashi to exhaust himself against Zabuza!

Luckily I could feel that Zabuza was still alive as he tugged harder on the great blade, even as I had to close my eyes before his blood got into them. Then suddenly I was pulled straight out of the water as the Kiri swordsman had both hands free and pulled back from the also-free Kakashi.

Realizing I was smack in the middle of a fight I had no intention of getting involved in, I let go and did a flip in the air to land on my feet, kunai at the read in case Zabuza would try to attack again.

But it looked like Kakashi had this in the bag.

He looked miserable, which made me smirk, absolutely soaked, and beyond pissed. The annoyance he must have felt against me after the bell test simply paled in comparison to the anger rolling off of him now. And as expected, Zabuza was bleeding from a wound on his throat. It was staining the bandages there red, and a few scratches also adorned his shoulders and left arm where Naruto had managed to clip him, but none of it looked quite lethal enough to matter.

"Well, I'll just leave you two to it."

"Yes, you do that, Sasuke. Good work. Both of you," was Kakashi's clipped reply. Was I dealing with his ANBU-mode now? Cool.

As I retreated, I checked out Naruto—who looked none the worse for wear—and Sakura, along with our client. They were standing around like the useless adornments they were.

"Good job, Sakura."

Not sure if she heard me, since I stopped paying attention to them and returned my focus to Kakashi's and Zabuza's showdown, tomoe in my eyes spinning lazily and recording all of it, smirking widely all the while. Fuck you Kakashi, hold out on me, will you? I'll just put you up against an A-rank missing-nin and make you show it all to me anyway.

Zabuza's technique with the sword was also pretty good, but what interested me most was his absolute fucking perfect chakra control in the water walking technique. He was not only not wasting any chakra on it, but he could pull a semi-variant of the tree walking technique by sticking to the water so that he could swing his humongous sword around more easily.

I didn't even know you could do that.

Water dragons swirled and crashed into each other and I judged that Zabuza was starting to run on fumes by now, but Kakashi looked still only somewhat tired. The difference in bleeding was giving him the edge in stamina, so Haku would intervene soon. But at this rate, Kakashi wouldn't quite collapse just yet, even if the fight ended.

Need to drag it out a little, then.

I drew a shuriken and sent it flying at a curved trajectory into Zabuza's blindspot.

So, of course, he dodged it like nothing, not even skipping a beat in his fight with the Sharingan-user. But for a moment, both jounin were aware of us again. Neither did anything, but they weighed their strategies again and spent a few seconds simply staring at each other.

Every second that ticked by was against Kakashi, his Sharingan squeezing him dry.

And then the senbon slammed into Zabuza's neck, knocking him out cold.

For a moment I worried that it was too soon, but seeing the sheer relief on Kakashi I knew that he'd be collapsing the moment Haku was gone.

Aaaand, I win. Fuck you Kakashi-sensei, Wave arc is my show now!