Chapter 3
Don't forget to leave a lik— I mean, a comment.
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How... Surprising.
The sun was up yet again in the sky and I was there walking on the empty streets of this place that still remained to be unknown. It was still early in the morning, too early for me to even walk as small quantity of people roamed the road the same as I am, albeit with normal clothes and proper looks. Unlike yesterday, today's setting was rather tame. There were no bountiful of stalls lined up from the sideways, no horde of individuals crashing against each other like a sackful worth of rice; there were no loud noises, no yelling and laughers of men that seemed to pierced even my own ears, nor were there the screech of annoying loud women that lacked any proper clothings. Not that I can judge myself, I looked like shit. Some people do roamed the streets, as aforementioned before, they looked like some of those people who were preparing for battle. Many of them wore steel plates on their chests, some carried large sized swords, and some even carrying bows and quivers loaded with arrows. Overall, they looked as if they would kill any that approached them anytime soon.
"Atleast they can afford to buy edibles." I grunted under my breath as my stomach growled to even just the mention of that.
Hunger. It still hunts me to this time. I have nothing to eat and I'm growing more hungry to the point of I am desperate to do something I would forever regret. Everytime I think about it, that I have no source of food and water to consume, it felt like my stomach was gnawing in pain, as if my very own insides were twisting and were being torn apart.
Sore legs and shaky knees, my limbs felt very weak and it was hard for me to balance without risking the point of falling to the ground. From this point of time, I was already leaning forward to balance my own body, it was easier this way and can lessen the uncomfortable sensation that is my gnawing stomach. As my throat became dry, my face turned grim, it was hard to focus; truly, dehydration was taking a huge toll on me. Everytime I move an inch, it felt like I was already walking for a mile non-stop. The same as my lips, my eyes felt dry, it was itchy and were sometimes blurry when I looked around. It was tiresome, very much so, it felt like I could drop dead anytime soon if I never considered any of my actions.
I was still inside my thoughts, contemplating at my actions and what would happen if I do this and that when suddenly, I heard the sound of the ever repeating soothing splashes. It was familiar, it was as if I have heard of it or something similar before. Perhaps I have heard it somewhere else? It's either that or that I was just having a small sense of dejá vu. So when I turned to face where it came from and what it might be,
"That... Is that wate—"
—I was greeted with the ever smelly canal that leads down to the sewers.
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"Cyka Blyat—!!!!"
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[ POV: ??? ]
A brand new day, a brand new job.
I sighed to myself, knowing that I am going to be assigned to a different set of work once more. From a waitress' perspective, I never thought of becoming a cook myself. Not that I was complaining, I never considered myself as a great cook, but the look Mama Mia gave me was just too intense to give away. What a troublesome job I have.
The paper bag full of vegetables and necessary ingredients grew ever so light to my arms. I have already bought all the listed items on my note, and if I was not wrong, these needs to be set ready for later at night.
"Hm?" I halted my motion and turned around to face my gray haired companion. "What's the matter?"
"Oh," Flinching as she snapped up from her dazed expression, she looked at me and smiled. "It's nothing, I think I just heard someone curse is all. Shall we go?"
Strange, I raised an eyebrow as I faced her ever so sweet beaming smile. It was faint, but I as well heard someone screaming, just to a language I do not know of myself. Shaking my head as I dismissed the thought, I nodded at her claims and continued walking. It's better to get going than be lost in thoughts. Mama Mia would scold me if we don't get back early.
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[ POV: Roneru ]
After that encounter with the deceptive water canal, that hope breaking liquid hazardous human waste, I continued my pursuit of food and drink. From my search, I met many new other buildings that homes different kind of purposes. Some of which displays various of types of armory and arsenals such swords, shields, axes, helmets, and many more. Although interesting, I wanted food; so unless if they're going to give people free to taste product, I'm not going to stop. Never.
So, I continued to walk and walk. Until eventually, I grew unbearably tired and decided to sit down to the ground where the sun is being covered by the shade of a shop's roof. It was already growing hot out there, if I continued walking, I'm afraid I would pass out more than how bad I really am now.
I continued gulping down my saliva, it was my only source of liquid to consume, but even that I know would soon vanish. Breaths and huffs of mine seemed to have become so loud in sound, my ears began ringing as each second passed, my eyes were again fading unfocused. All I can do for now was lean to the wall and think. It's already getting hard to breathe air, and if I assume that I am right, I would be gasping for air soon.
"I need...water..." Food was moved to the second place of needs, water being the first and only priority to replace the former. I need water. More so than ever that I might've just drink my own blood if I ever could.
The sound of door opening and closing rang to my ears as I tilted my head to the left. There, laying beside the door itself, was a small unsealed wooden box. It was unsecured, there was no cover that sealed the box and was left open for anyone to see. However, it was not the box that left me hanging on the air, it was the contents of what was inside. Bottles in shape of long cylinders can be seen peaking up from the top of the box. I can't see what the inside truly is, it's hard to tell as it was only the top that was there to be seen. So out of curiosity, along with the hopeful thoughts that have formed in my mind, I shakily stood up and tired to look more of what the glass apparatus contains.
My eyes widened.
"Those...those are..."
I stumbled forward, but still, that did not stopped me from reaching the item filled box as I hurriedly went to take one of the long glass cylinders. Grabbing a handful of them and bringing them into the ground, I raised one bottle up and stared at the ever so clear liquid substance that I am most familiar with. It was clear and clean, containing no such other monstrosity that is contaminated hazards. It looked fresh, it was clean, and it was clear. No doubt; this is,
"Water."
As quickly as I could, I uncapped the cork that was keeping it sealed shut and, without any visible hesitation, drunk it all in a single gulp. I expected the differ, that something bad would come up and I would experience some side effects from drinking a random liquid substance in a weird graduated cylinder. But to my outmost surprise,
It did not.
So popping out more corks and drinking the water these weird cylinders contained, I felt relieved as the soothing sensation of cold water flowed down to my throat. I don't know whom these belongs to but even yet so I still drank. I don't know if they may need to use this for something, but I am sure they can refill it with their water, I'm convinced that they may and must have a source of liquid to have these much water.
"Aha...ahahahaha, water!! Yes!!" I laughed to myself as I chugged another cylinder worth of water. It was a paradise for me, as if I was flying up to the very heavens itself. I want to celebrate, to rejoice at this time as I raised another bottle.
But suddenly,
*creaaak~~~*
The door opened slowly as shadow loomed over me. I froze, my eyes widening in horror as I tilted my head to face the door. Standing over there, the image of a girl slightly smaller than me came in view. She wore a pale lime scarf that covered her neck and shoulders, clothes the color combination of blue-ish gray and dark yellow— one where her left sleeve was done long while the other was not, and for what I can get a glimpse, she had dog features— presumably a headband.
It was not new for me to realize what this situation instantly means, it just took me a couple of moments to snap back to reality.
I'm fucked up.
So, with the only option I have in possession, the only one thing I can think of for the current moment; I ran.
"Ooooaaaoooooaaaaahhhh!!!!" I ran away screaming, taking 3 handful sets of water filled cylinder. I can hear her call out for me, or atleast that's what I think it is considering all I can hear was inaudible gibberish yellings.
I ran, I ran as fast as I can, turning left and right to the narrow alleyways I can find of. I don't know if she was following my trail or what, yet I did not bother to turn around and check. Everytime my speed decreases, she would only get closer on chasing me, and I don't want to risk it all.
"Wryyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!"
My legs were still sluggish and sore as I ran, but for some reason, each step I tried to take, the more that my stomach feel.... Pain?
What?
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[ POV: Naaza Erisuis ]
I screwed up.
One moment I left my own apparatuses outside of the shop to talk with Miach-sama about the ever so slow movement of our business and then when I came back, an unknown homeless stranger wearing rags was having the time of his life over my brewing components. I don't know whether to laugh at how comedic the guy looked like while drinking my potions or grow anxious at the fact that he did drink it. What was much more bad is,
He ran away from me.
"Oh? What seems to have happened here?" The voice of my God, Miach-sama, spoke just behind my back scarring me to a small degree. I grew stiff, feeling a sweat drop to my cheeks as I slowly turned my head towards him. My God stood there with an ever confused face as held to his hand was a glass of water.
"And where did that young man in dirty clothing go? I fetched him some water that he himself asked for."
I scratched my cheeks wryly, softly chuckling as I tried to make words out of it, "I, uhhhh... I might've accidentally let him drink the potions I brewed in confusion that it was water?"
"Oh, so you gave him a medicine by accident. Wouldn't that be good?"
I let out another dry chuckle, "Weeeeell, yes but no."
Now it was time for Miach-sama to be confused, I can see it just from looking at his own face. I can't blame him though, I think he and that guy misunderstood both my interpretation, albeit at a different a scale.
"And, why is it?"
"I.... Some of those that he drank were mostly water, but some of those are not." Explaining at the best I could, I breathed a sigh,
"It was a leftover of my failed attempt to brew."
"And what.... Was the possible outcome of consuming it?" He grew worried, his shaky voice was a proof of it.
Taking a deep breath as I recalled the side effects of those failed brewing attempts, I looked back to where the guy left off to. He dropped some of those cylinders back on the floor when he first ran, thus causing some of the glass to shatter and scattering glass shards to the ground.
I faced back Miach-sama and spoke with a defeated sigh,
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"Immense hunger and food poisoning."
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[ POV: Roneru ]
The shattering of glasses echoed through my ears as the liquid water contained on the long sized cylinders splattered all over the ground. I want to catch it, it was valuable to my own survival and that I would not live without it. Yet, I just can't.
"Gaaaawk!!"
My eyes widened, my hands started shaking, all as my stomach gnawed in pain. I fell to my knees clutching my stomach, my veins nearly bulging out through my neck and forehead as my eyes grew wide as if taunting to pop out of my skull. It was excruciating. Very much so that I can no longer hold it in and screamed. It hurts, it was painful to a very high degree. My muscles, my body, it all felt like it was all being drained in nutrients. Like being hit by a train on full speed, my body ached in pain to an unimaginable heights I have never reconsidered.
But that, is nothing compared to my abdomen. It hurts— no,
I'm going to die.
Pain was said to be fundamental but now it felt more than anything complicated. Throbbing, it mostly felt like a living organisms pulsating within my stomach, like a wrecking ball weighing a Ton moving in the speed of sound and crashing directly into my stomach. It twisted and crunches, it was as if like a knot very tightly tied to a 'T' shaped driller and was rotating in a terrifying 382 RPS. I can't stand it. It was too painful for even me to endure.
Why is this happening? Was it the water I so much desired to chug down backfiring on me? Did it contained a dangerous type of chemical that is now eating my inside, just because I was too foolish enough to notice it? Or was it just that this is how hunger and dehydration fights back when you do not suffice your own needs? So many questions to be asked yet so far away from the answer. But at the same time, irrelevant as it is already too late to complain.
"Ukaah—bluegh"
I can't breathe, not even if I tried so much to gasp for little air possible, I cannot. Water built into my eyes, and I can feel it flowing down to my cheeks. Tears were already falling down from my eyes, my throat unable to utilize any single molecule of oxygen, all as I tried to gasp in horror. It was unbearable, irresistible, I can cough, I can speak, but I can't breathe, it was really like as if I was already dying— no. I AM dying.
Suddenly, everything went blurry, all I can see was the smudgy colors of the dark cobblestone ground. It felt light, like I was flying into the sky, and then I hit something hard. Having my eyes unable to view any image, it was a surprise when I was able get a clear view of the ground I fell into. The stench of rusty iron filled my nose, it was disgusting. Wet, yet why is it so warm; the ever image of crimson red liquid came to my eyes as the ground was covered in this disgusting smell of odor. This... This was familiar, I think I have smelled this before.
Tired to move— too tired to even speak, I dipped my tongue into the puddle of red and almost instantly, my taste was bombarded with disgust. It was indescribable. It tastes like the mixture of strong metallic alloy, rotting chicken, a smelly maggot, and many more I cannot identify. Ah yes, this. I remember, I have remembered what it is. This...this disgusting puddle of red, is this..
..My blood?
Before then, the pain that was grinding my insides stopped, and it all went back into the same silence I have grown accustomed to. I feel tired, I can't move an inch and unable to let out a speech. The choking sensation stopped, and I was able to breath, albeit only briefly. I was gasping for air, each time the sensation of oxygen enters my esophagus was the same time I felt the yanking pain that formed into my lungs. Eyes growing heavy, I suddenly felt sleepy.
Is this what death feels like? The time where all and everything was branded useless as one was helpless to do anything? If so, then I wasn't expecting to die similar to this. Hungry, I feel hungry, hungrier than I have ever been from my entire life. It was like the hunger I was feeling just before was multiplied tenfold. So much so that I feel like I can cannibalize my own body if left with no choice.
I don't want to die. I never wanted to die. I wanted do something, yet it was a fact that I cannot.
For the current moment, I contemplated on my actions, what I have thought and done since the past 2 days. Survival, I had once thought that I can manage my own self and that I know how to survive even if I was put to a situation like this. Oh foolish, how foolish I have become. Did I really thought that I can do that without any valid experience whatsoever? Did I really thought that I, a normal guy with an average lifestyle, can make something that even someone above my caliber would struggle to do?
What a laugh.
Then, my mind went back to the busy and overwhelming streets bustling in energy. I should've just stole, steal food and water if I ever see one. It's a shameful act, but if I did that, I wouldn't even reach a point similar to this. I remembered the park, the bench, the cobblestone streets, and the fountain. Now come to think of it, the fountain looked like a very good source of water, drinkable water. Even if it's kinda dirty, it would still be better than dehydrating myself like how I was before. But then again, I was too dumb to think of that. Naive, so naive. You're not one of those survivalist, Roneru. No, you're not. Never has been and never will be.
I don't know how much time it has been since I had fallen to the ground, nor do I know what would now happen to me. It's all getting blurry, more smudgy than even before, and everything— was slowly fading into darkness. Darkness, I guess this is the end, huh. It was fun that it lasted, but now it's all going to end in the most pathetic way possible.
Starvation.
Now that it's almost gone, I let out an inward chuckle. As one man have said,
My battery is low..
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And it's getting dark.
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"H...uh..?"
As I closed my eyes, I felt something painful washed over my arm. It was painful, yet I don't know if I have the energy to react. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw what was causing it.
"A....ra..t?"
A rat. It was a single rat. A tiny and dirty rat that was as bad as I am. However, it was not the rat that made my hands hurt. Instead, it was what it was doing to my hand.
Blood flowed down to the ground, sting of pain crept into my limb, all as the aforementioned rat continued to bite into my flesh. A feast, it looked like as if it was having a feast, hurriedly gnawing into my hand in solo for as it doesn't have anyone to share. But unlike the rat, I have nothing to feast. No food, no meat, no drink. How pathetic, it seems like I was lower than even a hungry rat.
Yet, under the empty blurry eyes I now have slowly grown, a small smile curved to my lips. It was faint, but still, it was there.
How wonderful.
Truly, how wonderful.
*eeeekkk!!!*
How wonderful it is that even as I was dying, the lady of life still cares an atom about me. That even if as I was near to my death door, she still gives a fuck and wants to torment me for much more longer. I can feel the struggling movement shifting into my weak but strong grasp, the overwhelming pain and ache that swallowed up my left palm. Screeches of frustration echoed to my ears, and I did nothing but ignored it.
"F...ood."
I have wasted resources far long enough. Gripping the rat that was trying to escape my grasp, I can't help but drown into self desperation. My mouth watered, my heartbeat accelerated. And I,
*eeeeek—*
Am hungry.
Blood sprayed all over into it's neck as I twisted it's head and pulled it out with all of my remaining strength. It was by no means gentle, nor was it done with any hesitation. The rat's head was separated from its neck, pulled and ripped off away from it's body.
How surprising.
Never in my life have I killed another living being, even if it was as harmless as a simple chicken. I don't remember mercilessly killing animals or even harming them for a tiny single bit. I have known myself for a very long time, and I know that deep down, I would never ever harm any single life in cold-blood.
But this...
"Grwaaahhh!!!"
It seems that I have yet to even touch the tip of the iceberg. My own iceberg.
I chomped down the rat and began eating it. Disgusting, it smelled very foul and tasted like garbage. It felt like I was going to puke out anytime soon, and yet still— I continued. I was hungry, too hungry to even care of it's taste and smell. Those senses were irrelevant, it's either to eat or just waste another opportunity to survive. I have wasted these opportunities long enough, it's not helping a single molecule of thing. I'll take advantage of all the things I have in possession; whether it's useless or not, doesn't matter.
Gulping down the raw meat of the same disgusting rat, I breathed a ragged sigh as I fell down to my knees. Shameful, how shameful it is of me to eat something foul like this and act like a savage mindless beast. But in the end, does it matter a single thing? Absolutely no.
I am alone, all alone in this world with no other else to care or worry. My family is gone, no more there to comfort me to my fake facade and act like a role model. I will never return to my home world, not today, and not forever. There's nothing more left to care, no more people I know that would be disgusted to my actions, no more internet to shame me for my dirty deeds, and no more family to fix my broken mind. All that was left to me was I and only I alone.
As I raised my head and stared at my front, I was met with a chunk of a large broken mirror, big enough to show my pitiful state and what I have become.
"Ha..."
Ever since I have come to this world, I have never come to look at my face or any that resembles my look. I was convinced that I would look all the same and nothing has changed. However, as I looked at the mirror, I was proven the differ. So much different but yet also similar.
My hair was still black, and so was my eyes; however, how my hair was stylized to something more wild and blooming was never the ones I remember I had. My face still looked below average, not so cute and not so handsome, the filipino features were still visible for me to notice. Yet, I don't know who I was looking straight into, it was not me, it was not my face; no, it was not. Thin, my arms looked thin— not to the point of malnutrition but still below healthy as the tanned color of dirt still painted my skin. It was different, far more different than I expected, but that doesn't matter.
So much I have changed, yet as I looked at the mirror, I can still see the pitiful state of me. Red crimson blood showered my entire mouth and jaw, a small unfamiliar wound cut into my cheek and the crazed orbs that was visible to my eyes. And so I wondered if it was even me that was staring directly into my eyes.
"Is this...me?..."
I, for once, doubt it is. I was not like this, this was not me. This was but a monster hiding in disguise. Yet, as much as I want to deny, it's a fact that whomever I was staring at was really me, just me, no other than me. It was foul to see my own self covered in blood, I looked like a monster that had yet to have his full, that I would jump at anyone I lay my eyes into and mercilessly consume their fresh body like a mindless cannibal beast. It was bad, but no matter how much I want to be disgusted at myself, I cannot, will not, and could not do just that. I guess this is just,
Human instinct.
The instinctual desire to do nothing but live.
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"Aha....ahahahahaha....ahahahahaha!!!!!"
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Is that so? The desire to live?
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How surprising.