4. Dream
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...due to Kyuubi's Chakra attack during the pregnancy of his mother, Kushina, his body has been weakened at the cellular level and is incapable of healing at the present time....
...by the entry of foreign Chakra (Bijuu Chakra) into his yet unborn body, this caused Chakra Worms to be born in his body and for nine months of pregnancy, they fed on his cells and life force, before being discovered after his birth by Tsunade along with.... They were proven to have destroyed the then developing Chakra Circulatory System and weakened the body to the worst possible state.... This caused him to possess a strange medical condition.... as well as the body having difficulty producing new muscle fibers. He underwent a successful operation on his skeletal system after birth.... and six months later another difficult operation performed by....
Deep analysis detected that the brain underwent a mutation to adapt due to the constant attacks of Bijuu Chakra produced by Chakra Worms during pregnancy.... which is the main reason for its current state. The mutation went the wrong way, making it impossible for the brain to heal his body in any way at the moment....
One of the main theories accepted for his condition, is that the brain considers the current state of his body as "healthy", and any major or minor attempt to change (cure) ends in failure. The brain, as a "computer," issues commands to treat every attempt at cure as a disease and attack on the body, by which it "cures" and restores the body to its original state. Because of the mutation of the brain, its functions are enhanced and it is not possible to change its...
...The amount of vital energy in Naruto's body is enough for him to survive for a maximum of ten or eleven years.... At present, it is not possible to increase it on a larger scale, but research now being conducted indicates....
...
With trembling hands, Naruto read page after page of documents. Everything was there, and literally. His situation, the state of his health and body or the sheer length of his life was described in detail. The examinations, surgeries and ongoing treatment during the last few short years of his life were described in detail. Documents included detailed explanations of his problems and how they arose.... Some things he couldn't even understand, by the scientific terms that were used there, but he understood them as a whole.
There were several theories explaining the oddity of his body, and each successive one was harder and harder for his weak mind to accept.
Naruto didn't want to believe it, he wanted to consider it a lie and a silly joke, but the longer he thought about it, the more things began to come together. His weak body, his practical lack of muscles or his high intelligence, which was strange for people his age. Even Orochimaru's words when they met last time and Kakashi's strange behavior-nee!
The dots slowly began to connect - ...why didn't I connect all this before...? - he asked himself. His heart was pounding hard and he felt himself sweating.
This is too much at once for someone so young, on top of finding out about it like this....
Naruto recalled many situations where he could understand that he was different, sick, crippled....
Whether it was through the fact that other children his age, or even younger, could walk normally without help. Was it through check-ups with Aunt Tsunade, who was his godmother. Taking various medications, telling him that it was his turn, and that Menma and Himiko had already taken their portion. Anti-viral injections for "weather change" or many other things.
All of this was distracted by his parents or other people trying to tell him that all was well with him. They perfectly distracted him from what was happening to him so that he could enjoy life.... In ignorance...!
- Ignorance is truly bliss.... - he muttered, pawing at his chest. He felt such a monstrous pain in his heart that he could not control himself.
He was finally going to die in a few years! And that because some stupid Chakra Worms had eaten up all his life energy! This is total madness!
He shook his head from side to side, trying to shake it off, to somehow force himself to reject the fact that he was crippled or conclude that it was all just a lie and go back to a normal life... a life of illusion created for his "good" by his parents.
Start living...
Orochimaru's words spoken then in the library echoed in his mind.
- I want to... live...! I don't want to die...! - he stated, what else was he supposed to choose too? To die!
Someone who tossed him these documents forcibly pulled him out of his happy bubble of illusion, only to drop him into the real world the next moment.
Should he be grateful to him...?
It finally made him aware of such an important thing that he was blind to! However, he did not know what to feel. He wanted to run to his parents and ask them all about it, but because of his condition he was unable to. It was the first time in total that he wanted to walk so much on his own, before that he was resigned to the fact that "he develops later unlike other children," and didn't think too much about it. He could have called out to them, surely they would have heard him, but he thought that was silly.
For the rest of the night he couldn't sleep, he didn't even try. He read the documents many times and thought about many things.
What was his life supposed to look like now...? Seemingly it was simple, he could not actually change anything and should continue to live as before. However, with this knowledge and awareness, is anyone able to? Awareness that he will barely live out his teenage days and may die? He had already lived half his life, at only five years old!
The thought of death chilled him. He had become so accustomed to a loving family and a happy and pleasant life that he didn't want to lose it. However, there was something worse... it was the loss of the future he had dreamed of...!
The possibility of becoming a Shinobi like his parents and using Chakra! At the moment he felt it was too mystical for him, it was like an ant trying to reach the heavens! It was too impossible! Fate made the ant too small and worthless, allowing it to only dream of heaven. Just as Fate made him born a cripple, giving him only thoughts and dreams of being a Shinobi.
Naruto grabbed his face as he lay numbly on his bed and stared unconsciously at the ceiling. He had turned off the light a while ago so that his parents wouldn't catch him if they accidentally woke up during the night and passed by.
He realized slowly that he might be considered extremely lucky anyway. After all, he was born as the eldest son of the Hokage of Konoha himself, the greatest of all the Great Villages! One of the strongest men on the entire globe! He had the best medical Kunoichi by his side, who became his godmother! She examined him regularly every week and spent all her time finding ways to give him a normal life!
He was a huge lucky guy, he wasn't just an ordinary ant, but a golden spoon-fed ant! Plus, a crippled ant and the child of the queen of the anthill herself!
At the thought of this, he laughed to himself....
He was not born in a poor region without parents, where he would have died at birth, or even at the very beginning of his pregnancy! Despite his disability and short life, he still had some options...!
He did not want to die...! With the knowledge of his condition, he also could not hand over control of his life to anyone else...! He himself had to grasp his Fate in his hands and control it!
- Start living... - repeated Orochimaru's words.
Yes, he had to start living! He had to become someone that even Fate itself could not threaten...!
He raised himself with his hands to sit down and looked out the window, from which moonlight was coming into the room.
He thought of being a Shinobi, he dreamed.... And shaking his head, he understood one thing now. His dream was not to be a Shinobi per se.
His real dream, which he had not understood until now, was.... experiencing the world...!
He wanted it for the first time since he felt the cold sensation of snow on his hands. He wanted to go beyond his warm and pleasant comfort zone, beyond that happy bubble of illusion his parents had created for him. He wanted to feel everything this world had to offer! He wanted to feel the same way he felt the first time he touched the snow!
Despite the cold, it was something fascinating! He can't even imagine how he would have felt if he had experienced something bigger than the touch of cold snow on his hands! If something so small could cause him such fascination and so many different emotions, what would cause something much, much bigger?
Truly, he felt like a crippled ant, being spoon-fed gold by the very queen of the anthill who dreams of heaven...!
How ridiculous and pathetic at the same time....
...
In the morning, Kushina quietly entered her son's room to wake him up for breakfast. She expected him to still be snoring deliciously, but he sat quietly on the bed and silently watched something outside through the window.
- Naru-chan, darling, are you awake? - She asked, but Naruto didn't answer her, didn't even pay attention when she entered the room.
She felt strange, perhaps because an unusually cool aura prevailed around him. She walked closer to her son and saw his blackened eyes, which most likely hadn't even slept a wink during the night, staring unconsciously out the window. He wasn't looking at anything in particular, it's not clear if he was looking and seeing at all, he was just sitting and staring into space.
- Naru-chan...? - became deeply concerned and grabbed his arm - Something happened...?!
It was only when he felt a slight tug that he turned his head and looked at her with the same blank stare. Kushina felt a shudder run through her entire body, she wasn't even sure if her son was looking at her, it was as if everything was invisible in his field of vision.
- Nothing... - He replied calmly, but in a voice practically washed out of emotion - I was just thinking....
Kushina froze hearing him. It was definitely nothing... Something definitely bad happened that saddened Naruto to such an extent!
- Naruto...! - for the first time in her life she shouted at her son - Tell your Ka-chan what happened! I know you're hiding something! - she demanded, at which he twitched slightly. He blinked his eyes once, maybe twice, before life returned in them, and after a while they became wet.
- T-this... - Kushina seemed to twitch at this sight. Without thinking, she hugged him to her chest whispering - Calm down, it's okay.... - it was probably the first time she had seen such a picture of her eldest son.
- I... - managed to howl before two streaks of long tears involuntarily flowed from his eyes.
- Shh... I'm sorry Naru-chan, it's okay, you'll tell me in your own time," she said gently, massaging his back - For now, hug me tightly and cry it out.... it will help... - she recommended, and he no longer held back and began to cry loudly.
He felt all the loneliness he had gathered in his heart during that one night instantly leave. He couldn't hold back his tears when she came to him and bestowed upon him that warm, motherly aura.
He was truly very lucky to have such a dear Ka-chan....
...
Three years have passed...
Namikaze Naruto turned eight years old some time ago. A lot has changed in the past few years since he learned the truth and confessed everything to his parents. On the same day that Kushina found him heartbroken, he cried it all out, then asked her if it was true, showing her the documents. He talked to his parents about it for a long time afterwards, they no longer hid anything and explained everything to him. He understood their point of view and thanked them for everything.
In a year's time, his younger brother, Menma would enter the Shinobi Academy and begin his five-year training. Naruto, unfortunately, did not have such a chance and had to study at home on his own. He familiarized himself with the Academy's education system and within two months learned by heart all the theory and knowledge that can be obtained there. Then he began to study medical knowledge, at first he learned the basic knowledge that could be obtained from the medical school founded by Tsunade, and later he took on more advanced topics.
During this time, he also possessed a great deal of knowledge in fields such as herbalism, alchemy and advanced biology. He learned like crazy all the things that could help him recover.
As for his condition...
His best days were gone.
Ages six and seven were the best period, where he was able to balance and walk on his own. After that, he began to slowly lose his strength, as if he was aging, if one were to compare his level of vital energy roughly with a normal person, he would be over fifty years old. Even his very light blond hair, began to fade and turn gray. Come on, his body didn't wrinkle like an old man's, but it could definitely be seen slowly passing away.
- Let's go Naru-chan, I've prepared a warm bath! - called out Kushina and helped him reach the bathroom - If you need anything, call out! - she reminded him - Don't be shy either if you want to take a bath with your Ka-chan! I'll help you wash your back! - she offered, but Naruto firmly rejected it, and Kushina giggled, seeing his little blush hidden on his cheeks.
He sighed heavily, leaning against a bathtub filled with warm water. He didn't step into it, but watched the steam rising with calm eyes.
- Comfort only kills me.... - he stated coldly, draining all the warm water.
He went inside only when the tub was empty and turned off the stopper, then began to pour the icy water until it filled him almost to his neck.