Too Dumb

I turned away, trying not to think of Molly's gaze on me. When I looked at who had called me, a sigh escaped my lips.

'Anthony', you can call him my best friend, even though I don't really feel like I can just be a good friend to anyone with my bad grades and weird life.

Well, you wouldn't think a rich and responsible-looking young man would be on your side when your family and the girl you like don't even pay attention to you.

"Hey, you missed the first class," Anthony raced towards me and patted my back.

I gave him a small smile. My fantasies and weird dreams are something I don't speak of. How on earth would I let him know that I have been deep in sleep seeing some creatures, which is why I didn't come to school early?

"Home chores," I lied. It was better that way.

Anthony shrugged, then nod his head past me. "Look at Molly, she sees you," his mouth was about to form a tight grin, something he was trying so hard to suppress but couldn't.

My eyes grew wide and I turned. Indeed, Molly was watching me instead of listening to her friends, and she didn't even bother to look away when I looked at her.

I turned back, all red but said nothing.

Anthony nudged me. "Maybe you should say hi; this can be a good opportunity."

I gave him a nod. Maybe I should.

With Anthony giving me the go-ahead, I turned and started walking towards her. Our eyes met, and I saw her standing up immediately, her eyes widening in surprise.

For a while, I stopped, wondering if I had made a mistake. But then I caught her smiling, a warm smile that happened to calm my racing heart.

Molly walked up to me, her steps like those of a model – careful and calculated.

"Blake, it's good to see you," she said when she reached me.

I had lost my voice; I would have told her how I felt but found myself speechless, my mouth unable to form any words. Instead, I smiled.

Molly looked behind me, then blushed. What was she looking at? What was funny?

When she spoke her next words, it completely broke me.

"Did Anthony ask about me?" she blinked her eyes, stealing glances behind me.

It must have been my whole world that crumpled in front of me. The girl I had ever liked, was now interested in my friend or has ever been interested in my friend, but I might be too dumb to have noticed it.

Uh oh, if there could be another name for dumb! That was definitely me.

Molly looked at me, her eyes rounder than ever before, her skin must have been glowing from all the smiling; she had never looked any happier.

How long had she liked Anthony? She seemed to have liked him a lot. I turned my head in embarrassment; good thing I had not told her how I felt.

Molly's voice caused me to look back at her, "Tell me, Blake, did Anthony send you?"

My mouth formed a thin line, and I managed to nod. Then, I turned and quickly spurned on my heels.

I did not go back to Anthony, who looked at me blankly when I turned, nor did I turn to see the grimace that must have appeared on Molly's face.

I'm a pathetic fool; I don't even have muscles, nor are my grades good. How on earth will Molly even notice me?

I raced towards my classroom and stayed there for the rest of the school day. Throughout, I felt Anthony's gaze on me, but he did not reach out to me to know why I had left him hanging like that. Nor was I sensible enough to go tell him that the person Molly actually likes is him and not me. Or maybe Anthony had known all along and was just making a mockery of me.

After class, I went back home, upset. I did not sit at the table during lunchtime, nor did I step out of my room for any activities at home.

Once again, Hannah came into my room. Although her face was fuming with anger, she still brought in my food.

"If you are depressed, you should at least eat," Hannah scoffed, holding the plate of food. "If you want to die, please make sure you have no one that will miss you while you are gone." She dropped the food on the ground and strode out of the room.

A smile appeared on my face when she left; despite the way she acted, she was the only one who truly cared about me. She was only hiding that behind a facade.

That night, my parents did not come to check up on me. Maybe a sixteen-year-old is too grown to be checked on, but this one was different. They never reached out to me, never cared if I ate or not. It almost felt like I did not exist to them.

I brought out my sketchbook from under my pillow and went through my art. It was gruesome to the human eyes, but these were creatures I could only imagine, or maybe I had seen them in my dreams, who knows. Despite the gruesomeness, my art was my only solace in this forsaken world.

As I went through my art, I realized that I had yet to draw the four-eyed creature. Not because I don't remember what it looks like, but because each time I took out the brush and started to sketch, I would feel a spark like lightning and a shock traveling towards my pen.

It was as if whatever this creature was, it would rather stay in my dream than be known in this world.

I stared at my sketchbook longer than I should have. None of the creatures I've drawn intrigued me more than the four-eyed creature.

It was strange, frightening, but it seemed to be calling me into its world. It almost felt like it wouldn't leave me alone until I did as it said.