1 Chapter 1. "Where the crap am I?"

"*Yawn* Dang what time is it?" Looking at my clock I could see that it was 3:45 am "Holy hell I've been watching the original dragonball subbed for 5 and a half hours? Damn". Deciding now to walk to the nearby cat-house turned pub. "Ok should be right around this corner If I remembe..." "Sup bitch It's me truck kun aho!" "Yeah no ima side step you baka!". So I did just that. "Go fund yourself truck kun wait the hfil why cant I swear? whatever must be dreaming or some crap." *Thunk fwirp ding* "You should seriously get that bell looked at it sounds weird brock" "I know man but old man fred won't let me says it's too "costly and a waste of my godamn time you dumbass" stingy fossil. anyway the usual?" Brock asked. "Yeah you remember don't ya?" I asked him not seriously at all. "Wouldn't be a good barkeep if I didn't. Strawberry Daquiri with a dash of Vodka some jack and a pineapple garnish". "You wondeful bastard" I said with a familial smile on my face. "Same amount as usual man?" "Yeah just less jack in the second and onward" *Several Hours Later* "I should be getting home to my wonderful wife, wait I'm not married well if I'm imagining being married probably got  wd too". *Crash* "what the space fuck?" "Oh oh shit Jacob he's back" "Get the hell out of my window before I pull you in here and make ramen out of you got it asshole?" I asked the weirdo robber sticking out of my window half naked. "Yep message received crystal clear" Greg responded. "*Yawn* let's sleep no...zzzzzzzzzz". "Wake the hell up damn weirdo" A voice called out to me it was an angry sounding slightly raspy voice "Hmph I said WAKE THE HELL UP WEIRDO" "Hm ah what who?" Looking around me I noticed familiar things that I couldn't fiure out how they were familiar. adjusting my eyes I saw a man with spiky black hair wearing armor of some sort it was blue white and gold with a weird logo on the right shoulder but I couldn't remember what was so familiar about it. "Why in the name of Kami are you sleeping in my front yard  tell me now before I kill you" He said with a sense of bloodlust in his voice. "Um look man I don't know how I got here who you ar... Holy crap you you're Vegeta prince of all saiyans! I'm so sorry sir!" I said with genuine concern for my life "That's right I am The Prince Vegeta Now why the hell are you on my lawn?" "I Don't even know I just woke up here last i remember is Finding a robber half naked stuck in my window" I Answered Vegeta "Well I'm still killing you sorry not sorry" Vegeta responded "Vegeta no killing people outside you know how these people get when you kill someone in plain view of everyone" A voice said calmy it was slightly old sounding yet still spry strange. "Oh thank kami and you sir" "No thanks are necessary kid just bring me some alcohol and a hot girl and were even"the old man responded "Argh Damnit old man Don't you have someone to peep on like that earth woman with the cyan hair?" "Well She's pissed at me because I used the dragonballs to genderbend me and her for a few hours it didn't go so well" "Oh Roshi never change" "Who the hell is this and how does uh he? know my name?" Roshi asked "well Master Roshi I uh just woke up here I'm not even from this universe" "Still doesn't answer my damn question kid" Roshi said slightly annoyed "Ok ok I can't explain anything to you at this moment I'm not even sure how I got here in the first place" I responded "Eh I'll take you under my wing, train you, all that crap from what 10 years ago?" Roshi told me. "So roshi where's this "earth woman" Vegeta mentioned?" I asked the old pervert. "Probably in her lab at capsule corp why you trying to see what I saw all those years ago? damn weirdo" Roshi asked me quite curiously "What no just wanted to see if she could I don't know help me get back home" I responded.  mostly anyway " Thanks roshi I owe you a few zeni" I called out behind me as I ran to the capsule corp building. "Oh hello ther do you have an appointment with one fo the scientists?" The receptionist asked me "I do not, I was hoping that walk ins were accepted" I responded "Oh they are sorry if i mislead you hon who were you coming here to see?" "Dr.bulma" I responded fairly quickly "Ok she should be ready in about an hour". "Ok thank you" "Oh no need to thank me hon" The receptionist responds. *45 Minutes Later* "Hey who the hell are you and why are you flirting with Bulma's receptionist!" A younger voice belonging to a child with black hair asked me. "Flirting! how dare you!" I responded to the boy "Well answer me before I kick your ass!" "You cocky little son of a..." "Oh Dr.Bulma There's someone here to see you, come quick there's a commotoin happening with him and gohan" the receptionist said into the intercom. "Ok ok break it up gohan what's going on here?" Bulma asked  "I found this guy here and saw that he was talking to your receptionist seemingly in a kind of roshi way so I told him to identify himself before I kicked his ass" Gohan told her. "Ok well first of all he's a client apparently, never seen him before also his clothes are weird, second what do you nee.. holy crap you're a tall drink of water Mreow *ahem* sorry anyway what did you need?" "Can we tak in the lab?" I asked bulma "Anything for you stud" She responded with a slightly seductive tone to her voice. "So Bulma can I call you "bulma"? I'm not from this universe not even this plane of existence, I was wondering since you're a brilliant scientist if you could build me a machine to travel universally instead of chronologically?". "If this is a ploy to get me to have sex with you just ask me" Bulma responded with a slight annoynace to her voie yet also an underlying tone of arousal. "What no I mean, but no it isn't I'm actually trying to get back home" I responded.