Chapter 806: Get Accustomed To Me (part two)
"Ouch! What the hell, Leena? From Little Red Riding Hood to the Big Bad Wolf?" Frowning, Kevin tried to figure out what was going on. Despite the pain, he had no intention of setting Leena free. He must teach Leena how to get along with him. He hated to see her wear a mask to hide her true nature in front of him. Her unnatural attitude upset him a lot. The first step to help Leena get rid of her cautiousness around him was to let her get accustomed to his intimate touch.
"But Kevin, would you please let me go first?" Leena begged and struggled. Kevin's embrace was everything that Leena dreamed of. But she had to keep her distance from him as much as possible or else she would get addicted to his hugs. What if she became greedy for Kevin's love and asked for more? She must quash such a possibility before it happened.
Oh, Leena, you must have a bad memory. I told you to get comfortable with me, or it'll be hard for you to walk into my world." Leena's reluctance toward his enthusiasm irritated Kevin a little. It seemed she always assumed an indifferent attitude toward him, as if he meant nothing to her. That really hurt for a cocky guy like him. He couldn't accept Leena's cold attitude toward him.
Although he was not born with noble blood, he was handsome and charming. It was impossible that his appearance would scare Leena away. But it seemed that his charm meant nothing in Leena's eyes. She just wasn't that into him! As a proud man, Kevin was deeply hurt. In his frustration, Kevin was too disappointed to hold Leena tightly. But there was a voice in his heart calling for him to continue. As a result, Kevin had to suppress the sad feeling he was experiencing, convinced that Leena was just too naive to understand him.
Are you angry, Kevin?" Leena asked, unsure of herself. She didn't mean to hurt Kevin. She was just afraid of being trapped in the snare of love, hoping her aloof attitude could keep her sober and offer her a chance to run away if Kevin found their marriage to be a mistake one day. 'He doesn't love me, does he?' Leena thought to herself. Having no faith in Kevin's love for her, Leena had to tell herself in secret time and time again that she must not get accustomed to Kevin's embrace and become addicted to it. She had to remain free, in case he told her he wanted a divorce. She couldn't allow herself to be dependent on anyone.
"If I say yes, would you know why?" Kevin flashed a bitter smile. He felt himself no better than a fool. He had done so much to try and be a good man to her. But maybe in Leena's opinion, that was far from enough. So that was why she always hated his touches and the intimate moments between them?
"I know." Leena said and lowered her head. She was not stupid, although she sometimes seemed like a simple-headed girl. Kevin must feel hurt by her aloofness. But what could she do? If she gave Kevin what he needed at this moment, would he promise to love her forever and not do anything to hurt her? She was born into a wealthy family, and was treated like a princess. Every kind of pain, both physically and psychologically, posed a nightmare to her. So she didn't want to be hurt, not once in her life. The best way to protect herself from getting hurt was to distance herself from everything that would possibly hurt her. Keep everyone at arm's length, even Kevin.
"All right. Maybe I'm too reckless. It's late. Get some rest, Leena. I need some alone time." Kevin withdrew his hands from Leena's waist and let her go. Maybe it was impossible for him to fall in love with Leena now. But he was trying. Since they were married, he would certainly take his responsibility as husband seriously. He was by no means an irresponsible man.
"If you don't have feelings for me, then don't give me hope." Leena uttered those words through clenched teeth. Suddenly, tears welled in her eyes. Afraid of shedding tears in Kevin's presence, Leena scurried out of the room, even forgetting to take her computer. She held herself back from crying until she darted into her office. Rivers of tears finally rushed out of her eyes. She didn't know what to do.
Leena's sentence struck Kevin like a lightning bolt. He felt both furious and hurt. 'Don't have feelings for her? What did she mean?', Kevin asked himself. Was it possible for him to marry a woman for whom he felt nothing at all? He didn't think so. Although Kevin was a responsible man, he was not virtuous enough to marry a woman he didn't like, no matter how beautiful she was. Marriage was so sacred in his heart that he would never marry anybody against his will. But what did Leena mean by mentioning hope? Kevin felt puzzled. That was a question that made Kevin board the train of serious thought.
"You bastard, Kevin. Why did you say those words to me? I almost surrendered my heart to you." Leena slid onto the floor. She snatched a nearby strip of cloth and tore it into pieces. She had taken out all her fury on it as though it were Kevin.
Tears were the most tangible testament of a person's frailty. Actually, Leena almost never cried. But she had cried a lot more ever since she met Kevin. She had turned melancholy and sensitive recently. Sometimes Kevin would say or do the wrong thing, and it would set her off and make her feel nervous. She would take a molehill and turn it into a mountain. She had to be constantly on alert, as if she were in the middle of a war zone. She had to protect herself from all harm, especially from Kevin.
Leena swallowed and took a deep breath. She knew how terrible she looked even without the aid of a mirror. The sweet moment when Kevin held her in his arms was still fresh and lingered in her mind. She even wished for time to be frozen in that moment, held in his arms for all eternity. Since the happy moment was ephemeral, it could only be eternal once time stopped.
Leena was fully aware that it was impossible for Kevin to forget about Daisy. Nor did she have the right to ask him to forget. It was neither realistic nor practical. She only wished that there was a place for her in Kevin's heart, not matter how small that place was. That shouldn't be too much to ask. It was humble, to some degree. Leena believed that she would be satisfied as long as her wish was fulfilled. But she was wrong. What a big mistake she had made. Love drives people crazy and makes them become possessive. Now, Leena wanted more from Kevin, his hug, his kiss, his body and his soul. She would not share Kevin's heart with another woman. Leena had gotten panicked and lost herself. Her desire for Kevin had been far beyond her expectation. That idea terrified her.