30 Thirty-MTOABB

MTOABB

I stopped comparing what we are to what I wanted because for once in my life, I realized that I never really knew what exactly my heart yearned for.

Was my reason for liking him because he is a bad boy that every girl wants? -- was it knowing that every girl wanted him, but only I could have him?

Those were the questions that would always play around in my mind, before pushing them to the very back.

I was over that now, I had moved on and so did he.

Unsure of who Gomes really is, I take a blind leap. I let myself enjoy his words --his company.

"I need to know what your favourite colour is at least," I say, stretching my arm to grab a slice from his platter.

This was our first time spending break together.

It felt like an actual date. I didn't care that we were at school. I didn't care that somewhere in the building Zack was kissing a girl with plump lips. None of that had crossed my mind because this is what I wanted- a day with the most beautiful boy I've ever come across.

I allow my eyes to drown in his as he watches me while nibbling his chip.

"Do I need to have a favourite colour?" He asks.

"Yes, we all do."

"What's yours?"

"Green."

"Why green?" He grabs another chip and places it in his mouth.

"It calms me - I think?" I say confused. I lightly chuckle, as he stares at me with a smile on his face.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I know what my favourite colour is now."

"Is it? And?" I ask.

"Brown."

I stare at him, a bit skeptical. "Why brown?"

"It's the colour of your eyes." He shrugs and I can't help but let out a chortle.

"That can't be why it is your favourite colour."

"It calms me." He smiles and my lips follow suit as they curve up in amusement.

"What is your favourite candy?" He asks, grabbing another chip.

"Gummies - I love them."

He nods.

"You want to buy them for me?"

He chortles and instead of rolling my eyes, I sit and admire. I watch as he leans back, his eyes shimmering from the kisses of the sun.

"I'll take that as a no," I tell him.

"Don't do that. You just took me by surprise, that's all."

"Right. So what's yours then?" I ask.

"What? Candy?"

"Yes."

"Toffees."

"No wonder you don't show your teeth. We'll have to take you to the dentist then."

He chuckles. "You are something else, truly."

"But you prefer me that way, right?"

"Very much so."

I smile and the bell chimes. I groan as we both stand with our platters in our hands.

"You go, while I dispose of these." He takes my platter from my hand. He places a kiss on my cheek and I give him a stare.

"Is that all I'll be getting from you?" I ask.

"You'll get more from where that comes from."

"I want more now." I pout and he shakes his head in laughter.

"You're coming over tomorrow, right?" He asks.

"Yes, but not for you. It's Cass and Rossita’s day."

"You two are talking again?" He asks and I nod.

"That's good." He nods.

"Still waiting for my kiss," I tell him.

"Only because you're irresistible and I can't say no." I lean in and cup his cheeks as I nibble his bottom lip. He groans and pulls back.

My Type of a Bad Boy

"I love you?" I say and I don't know what I was expecting him to say, but whatever that was, it didn't come -- nothing did but silence.

"You don't have to say it back, I didn't mean to throw it at you like I just did." Panic sounding from my voice as I hear it begin to crack at the end.

"I'm sorry that I'm not saying it."

"No, you don't have to apologize." I turn my focus to the ground as I need it to open up right now and swallow me whole.

That all played in my little imagination--dancing and bouncing off the walls as I contemplate what this feeling really is.

I close my door, not wanting to be alone with my thoughts any further and run into Chloe's room.

"You could have knocked," she says, throwing a shirt on.

You won't believe what I just did," I tell Chloe.

"What did you do now?"

"I told Gomes I love him - who says that nowadays?"

"People who're in love?" Chloe chimes in and I have to stop my ranting to give her one of my many stares.

"Besides that -- I feel like an idiot. What do I know about love? It's such a big word--"

"It's only 4 letters Rossita, I doubt it's that big," she smiles.

"It's not funny, Chloe."

"I'm sorry. You are just exaggerating -- what happened? Did he not say it back?"

I throw my body on her bed as I use her pillow to muffle my simultaneous screams.

"I told him in my mind and even there I was not able to control his reply -- he didn't say it back." I turn to face her ceiling, holding a pillow to my chest.

"You've absolutely gone crazy, you know that, right?" She laughs out loud and I pull a face.

"Are you sure you love him?" She asks.

"I don't know -- do I?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"You love Brody, don't you?" I ask.

"I suppose you could say that." She jumps on the bed right next to me.

"What do you mean 'suppose', so you don't? I ask.

"It's complicated."

"Is it because he can't make it on Saturday?"

"It's not that. I have been saving up so I can buy a plane ticket to New York so he and I could properly be together."

"What about college?" I ask her.

"It's not for me, and I can always work at dad's cafe."

She knew mom wouldn't like the sound of that and neither would dad.

"So when are you telling mom and dad?"

"On the day that I'm meant to leave."

"You've got this all planned out."

"I thought I did, but I mentioned it to Brody a few days ago and he was not happy." She pulls the pillow from my arms and places it on her chest.

"So what now?"

"I don't know right now -- but being grown up is shit."

She could say that again!

"Want to watch a movie to get your mind off everything?" I ask.

We grab her duvet and walk down the stairs to the living room.