Just wondering

Days have passed, and much to Kanae’s relief, the rumor regarding her and Keiji being in a relationship eventually fades.

Kanae wasn’t sure whether Keiji was really the one who silenced those gossipy students like what he said he would do or maybe she still has a little luck left in her that new rumors emerged about other students (and even teachers) in their school, which seem to be more scandalous compared to the gossips about her and Keiji that people began to forget the idea of them being on a relationship and started to stick their noses on the new, bigger, and more intriguing issues such as their gay math teacher molesting some of his male students (who unexpectedly manage to pass and get high scores despite their lack of attendance and participation in the class) or that girl from other class who suddenly stopped coming to school and was rumored to be pregnant.

Of course, Kanae wasn’t happy for them, she feels sorry if anything because she knows how it feels to be a victim of those people whom she kind of envies since they appear to have lots of free time, and little to no problem at all that they began minding other people’s business and make stories that no one asked for.

It’s Saturday and there were only two weeks left before their midterm examination, which only means that this will be the second to the last study session that Kanae will have with Keiji. She is fairly confident that he will be able to pass as long as his learning pace and the amount of effort he pours in remain steady.

Kanae even began to wonder what Keiji would become, had he taken studying more seriously or the same level as Kanae does. Maybe he’ll be one of the best performing students in their class as well, she thought. Too bad Keiji doesn’t pay attention to studying like an average student would because if he did, they wouldn’t be having a tutoring session by now, and Kanae would probably have more time to study, rest, laze around, and do other things which she usually does at home, and not in the place of someone who was an absolute stranger weeks ago.

Still, it's not like she hates Keiji’s company. In truth, she’s beginning to feel less tense and more comfortable the more time they spend together. She might not admit it to Keiji, considering how stubborn and how she refused to be his tutor at first but more than not regretting it, there’s also a part of her that enjoys the whole tutoring thing, surprisingly, which is why she wonders if she will miss it once it ends? or will also Keiji miss it?

Maybe not.

It’s no doubt that Keiji’s antics and mischiefs that he was missing right now. Knowing him, Kanae doubts if he will ever miss studying for an unbearably long period of hours every weekend with someone as boring as her. Keiji most likely finds it tiring and troublesome — something that he wouldn’t want to experience again.

It was already afternoon and Kanae called for a fifteen-minute break before they proceed to their last topic and consider it a day already. Keiji took this opportunity to lay his stiff back on the floor, he could feel it slowly relaxes and he closed his eyes to help his mind relax as well. Kanae was sitting across the table in front of him, but rather than taking a break, she took that little break time they have to quickly scan some of her notes because clearly, the more time she spends teaching Keiji, the less time she has to teach herself so she badly needs to catch up.

Keiji opened his eyes, and instantly, they were locked on Kanae, “You said we’re taking a break.” Then he shifted his gaze to look upon the ceiling.

“You’re not following your own words,” he added.

His tone was kind of flat and Kanae couldn’t quite figure out the implications between his words. She'd got lots of things to think about, her brain might suddenly burst if she starts overanalyzing things again so she decided not to dwell much on Keiji’s words.

Kanae closes her eyes before taking a deep breath, “We’re taking a break from tutoring you, can’t I do what I want with my free time?”

“Are you a masochist?” Keiji said as he rolled his eyes.

Kanae’s lips parted slightly, then she started to speak, “And whose idea it was that I am stuck in this strenuous setup instead?”

Keiji remained silent for a moment.

“...sorry” he mutters softly afterward and looks away but the fact that it was only their conversation that beats the silence of the room is enough for Kanae to assure that she heard him right.

Kanae masked the shock brought by Keiji’s words with the stoic expression she always wears. Realizing that surprisingly, Keiji does know how to apologize, and by that, Kanae wasn’t referring to just simply saying ‘sorry', it’s not just about that word but also the way he said it. Sincere. Kanae would even bet there was a hint of guilt on his tone.

Half of Kanae’s mind believes and is relieved that Keiji was finally taking the blame — as he should.

While the other half was fairly aware that it was her own actions and decisions that led her to this point.

She could’ve just said no in the first place. But she knows her life has always been, and constantly revolve around school and home, and the endless cycle goes on. Keiji’s interference was rather a nice change to her monotonous and dull routine.

Now she feels like if Keiji owes her an apology, then Kanae owes him her regards.

“Hey”, Keiji sits up again, legs crossed on the floor and he sounds like he suddenly remembered something.

“Just wondering…” he added.

Kanae looked up from her notes, “What?”

Keiji contemplates for a while, “Nevermind.”

And Kanae wished he could smack him that moment. Is he really that bored that he started picking on her?

She looked at him with those stone-cold, irritated eyes, “Seriously, If you have something to say, spill it already.” then she looked back to her notes, “if none, do me a favor and shut up.”

“Fine.” Keiji sighs, “Well I was just wondering,” eyes shifting on the corners of the room until they were locked on Kanae again. “Would you ever consider skipping classes with me?”

Kanae didn’t respond, she just gave him a disbelieving look.

Damn Keiji, he’s surely messing with her, isn’t he?