4 Identity Crisis

Compared to human, rocks are permanent. Of course, they are not so permanent as they will erode from time to time. But still, compared to our insignificant life span, rocks seem permanent.

Just look at those pyramids. The earliest pyramid was built circa 2630 BCE, but they still stand strong up till now. It lasts longer than my sorry ass.

Anyway, it reminds me of human's life span. Our life span is short. Unlike the long lasting rocks, our life span is so short that those nuts who built pyramids couldn't even view the magnificent scene with their grandchildren.

Their life was so short they couldn't brag to their grandchildren that they built the pyramid. Pathetic isn't it?

Human are born with the awareness of their mortality. We knew, ever since our birth, we would end up dead. Thus, most of the people live their life in fear — the fear of death. We ended up comparing ourself to the seemingly permanent rocks.

"Oh, our life is so short. We shan't make any wrong!"

"Be good, and live carefully. You might love longer."

Everyone tries their best to live longer. Everyone lives carefully to avoid death to the best they can.

For me, it is wasteful.

Human like to look up, and reluctant to look down. They compare theirself to the long lasting inanimate object called rocks to remind themselves of how short their life is.

How could they never compare themselves with gastrotrichs that live for 3 days, or even mayflies that only live for 24 hours? Compared to them, don't we seem permanent? Yes.

However, human are hypocrites. They are never grateful to the things they have, but always tell people to do so.

Undoubtedly, I am different.

I never think my life is short. I have been never afraid of living my life. For me, 26 years is enough to achieve many things. I became an independent stock trader at 18, achieved my first million at 19, laid my hands on my first billion at 24. I have done many things.

Thus, my 26 years is well spent.

Even while having that money on my hands, unlike the other billionaires, I was never afraid of losing it. Despite how carefree I lived my life, I knew it was bound to end.

For me, death is a state of absolute nothingness. No space, no time, no form, nothing. Therefore, all I have done are bound to be vain in the end. Mistakes will be forgotten, and achievement might be remembered. That's why I chose to end my life as a legend.

With that being said, how the fuck can I still do monologue?! Isn't death supposed to be absolute nothingness?! Is my well constructed hypothesis like profound philosophy wrong?!

Cap!

Hold up! There is another possibility. I might have failed doing a Paul Walker. Meanings, I haven't died yet. Which in the other words, I am going to jail!

Well, crap!

Anyway, let's try opening my eyes first. I can't. I can't open my fucking eyes! What does it mean? I am dead, but somehow I can keep my consciousness? Aha, no! There is no cliche situation like that in reality.

However, speaking about reality, what reality I am currently in? I can't answer that. Is it still the same reality where I belonged previously, or a different one? What is a different one? I don't know.

Well, things happen. At times like this, I will just chill my non-existent ass.

Suddenly, the poor clueless man feels a tug at his entire existence. His awareness returns in full force, and franticness assaults him. Surely, I am describing my own predicament.

Ahhh!!!

Am I screaming? I don't know. But, the sensation I am feeling right now is weirdly awesome. It feels like riding the slingshot ride in Florida in reverse. Yes, it means I got the feeling of my non-existent life leaving my non-existent body.

Boom!

Nothing exploded. It was just me describing how I feel. Just like what Newton said, anything falls will touch the ground. Technically, I was pulled. But, who cares? We fall because gravity is pulling on us. It's the same thing.

Now that I have 'touched the ground', I can feel my body once again. I can slowly feel my weight and shape. My sense is getting sharper, and my previously ethereal body feels real once again.

I can feel my hand touching something familiar. Yes, it feels like touching a dick.

Dick?

Dick???!!!

I open my eyes faster than I can blink. Upon opening my eyes, I am met with an unknown wall. Yes, it's an unknown wall, not the cliche unknown ceiling. That's because I am standing.

A familiar scent assaults my nose. It is the scent of ammonia. Judging by the urinal, I am standing in front of, it is undoubtedly a toilet. Therefore, upon looking down, I can see the dick I am holding is, in fact, mine.

Pheww... Alright, it's time to let go of my dick, and wash my hand. The dude besides me is already staring weirdly at me.

Let's ignore the fact that I am completely nonchalant upon finding myself in an unknown place, and an unfamiliar body.

I move to the toilet sink to wash my hands. I gaze into the mirror, and I can see a somewhat familiar face. I have a somehow familiar Asian like face, and medium short black hair with an ahoge on top of my head.

I don't know how can the unrealistic ahoge reside there, but to describe simply how I look, I look like the wretched version of myself. If I had been a pessimist, and a lazy ass bastard, my face would have looked like this.

The only somewhat similar feature this face has is the eyes. They look exactly like mine, but worse. The desperation, cynicism, and loneliness that they eyes convey makes them different from mine.

"Huuh... I can't remember any shit. Shouldn't I get something like a golden finger or at least a memory from this body? It always happens whenever the main characters from those light novels are transmigrated."

Splash!

The water I washed my face with brought me back to composure. I am inwardly bewildered I am not bewildered at the bewildering situation I am in. I want to, but I can't. It feels like waking up after you drunk — weird, but normal. It just feels right.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Excuse me, is this yours?"

I turn my body to face the one who has just tapped my shoulder. It was a dude. What do you expect? A girl in male's toilet?

"I guess." I answer. His face turns weird, but I don't care. I really don't know if the plastic bag belongs to mine. I just feel extremely familiar to it. "Then, here's your bag. Next time, you should be careful not to forget your stuff," says the dude.

I don't say a word to him. I merely take the bag, and nod my head. I am a little bit baffled by the fact that I just speak Japanese. I could speak Japanese — since I'm half Japanese — in my last life, but I rarely spoke it.

However, just now, I spoke Japanese like a VA. Yes, it sounds so fucking natural, and amazing. I calm myself down. No need to get excited. I have to make sure which world I am currently in.

"Can I ask you what date it is?"

"Oh, sure. It's July 23rd."

"Is it summer holiday?"

"For you, students, yes, it is."

I nod my head and thank the dude. Right after that, I get out of the toilet.

Peering into the plastic bag I am carrying, I can see an ice cream. The temperature outside is not that hot, but it's a good time to eat ice cream.

I hum to myself, while letting my feet carry me. I don't know where to go, but nothing beats muscle memory. I need not guide to lead me, for my feet are autonomous!

I look around to determine the current prefecture I am in. Turns out, I am in Chiba. I have ever been to Chiba before, therefore I am familiar with the scene. Still, it is not exactly the same Chiba I knew.

I stop my footstep to stand on the side of the road. The red is light, and I am waiting for the opportunity to cross the road. Japan may have low crime rate, but nothing stops people from running over another people.

That's the reason why many Isekai Protagonist died of truck. It happens often here.

"Nyann~"

Awwww. The little kitty is trying to cross the road. Even an evolved human has to wait the light to be green, before crossing. Yet, this tiny creature wants to cross the road right away? Hah, imbecile!

Well, not my business. I wouldn't even blink if an old lady was run over in front of my eyes. So, why should I care if the little kitty is run over?

Therefore, I let it do what it likes.

Ding!

Huh? Isn't it a lucky creature? Just as she is about to cross, the light turns green.

"Whatever."

I shrug, and move my feet to cross. But, the other people don't. About why, I don't know, and I don't care. However, there is this foreboding feeling that I got from my right side. Trusting my intuition, I throw my head that way.

Honk!

"¡Puta madre!"

When things escalate too quick it leaves me bewildered, I will curse in Spanish. How can I not? A fucking car is heading my way! It hasn't been an hour since my death, and I have to die again?

No! I don't want to!

Biting on the ice cream stick, I utilize every power this feeble body of mine contains to jump backward.

Whoosh!

I manage to dodge the car just on time, before it runs over me. I can even feel the wind caressing my face. Surely, it isn't without any drawbacks.

Bang!

I fell on my butt, because of it.

"Well, my butt hurts... Still, better than dying for the second time."

At the moment where I want to heave a sigh of relief, I hear a shout.

"Boy, get away!"

"Watch out!"

Turning my head to the direction, I don't even care about the tragedy that is about to happen to me. I am merely curious to what is coming my way.

It's a bike. It's a 250cc sports bike!

At that moment, I only think of one thing.

For Odin's beard, how am I not safe, even on the safe zone?!