First Year of Highschool (6)

Eleventh Month.

A month has passed since Valentine's day, and now the day of reciprocation—the day of payback—White day came.

Hachiman, fulfilling his promise to Shizuka, notified most of the girls who gave him chocolates in Valentine's day to meet him at the rooftop after school, a day prior.

Shizuka has told him to meet them one by one, because doing it his way is too heartless, as she likes to say. However, Hachiman is a practical person.

He doesn't want to trouble himself by going around the school just to give a box of white chocolate to every girls who gave him chocolate in Valentine's day.

However, he still takes Shizuka's suggestion, which is the reason why he assigned the girls a different time to meet him: he wants to make them feel slightly special, in return of the sincerity they have showed him a month ago.

He can't even believe he actually puts that much of consideration towards people he doesn't care about.

But, what can he say? As much as he influences Shizuka, Shizuka also influences him; that's what happens when two people spend so much time together.

With that being said, there are some people who receive their chocolate from Hachiman privately.

"Y-You really pay me back in White day ... I'm happy, Hachiman!"

Saika, for example.

Sh—He also gave Hachiman a chocolate in the Valentine's day to show how much he treasures their friendship. Hachiman, being a good friend to Saika, gladly accepted the chocolate, and promised to pay him back.

Although some people looked at them suspiciously at that time, they were quick to shrug it off. Valentine's day is not gender specific, after all; even a boy can also give a chocolate.

Hachiman waves his hand mildly. "Nah, you are exaggerating. It's just a chocolate."

"No, that's not what I mean." Saika shakes his head delicately. "Your initiative to pay me back is what makes me happy." Sh—He smiles brightly.

'Holy fuck! This dude is seriously tempting me to join the dark side!' Hachiman cursed in his mind.

He is trying his best to prevent his brain from producing any dopamine more than necessary. Still, he can't help the unconscious smile from budding; it takes him a few seconds to realize it.

The next person who receives their chocolate privately from Hachiman is Yoshida Saki, the sweetest girl he has as a friend.

"Saki, here's the payback for the handmade chocolate you gave me. Your chocolate tasted heavenly."

"Oh my, thank you, Hachiman-kun." Saki takes the chocolate box Hachiman is presenting her with a light blush. "I am glad you liked the chocolate I made."

"And I am glad I ate it." Hachiman smiles. "Alright, I still need to meet some people; I have to go." Turning his back, he waves his hand lightly. "See you tomorrow, Saki."

"See you tomorrow, Hachiman-kun!" Saki shouted with a smile.

Although she knows Hachiman has never seen her as a woman and he means his chocolate as nothing but a payback, she is already happy. This much is enough for her. She will reach his heart step by step.

In the way to the rooftop, Hachiman meets someone who he has also been looking, Kawasaki Saki.

"Yo! Ninja-san." Hachiman stops Saki in her track. "Where are you going?"

"Does it matter to you?" Saki replied unenthusiastically.

With a serious gaze Hachiman answers, "Yes, it does. I don't want to lose my precious ride, after all."

"Huuh... That's a sexual harassment, you know?" Saki massages he forehead.

Hachiman quirks his eyebrow. "Not if I'm handsome."

"Do you think you are?"

"Do you think I am not?" Hachiman brings his face closer to Saki.

Saki stares into his eyes for a while, before pushing his face away. "Alright, what do you want?!" Her face is already blushing.

"I want to pay you back." Hachiman takes out the chocolate, and presents it to Saki. "It's not handmade like yours, but I bought it from Teuscher, the best chocolaterie In Switzerland. So, I can guarantee you the taste."

Saki is slightly overwhelmed. "Just how much money you spent to buy the chocolate?"

"Not much. Including tax, I paid around 23,000¥ each box." Hachiman shrugs. "Of course, I only give this kind of expensive chocolate to special people." He winks, then moves his feet. "See you later at the gym, Saki."

Instead of answering, Saki merely sighs. "Huuh... That guy really likes to give people wrong signals." She unconsciously pulls the chocolate Hachiman gave her to her chest.

Upon arriving to the rooftop, Hachiman only needs to wait for five minutes until the first girl he has told to meet him arrives. With a thanks, he gives her the chocolate, and watches her leave the vicinity.

The process is repeated for another 21 times, and it takes around forty minutes until the last person shows up. It is someone who Hachiman knows quite well; someone who was very close to him ... In his past life.

Formerly Christine Sasaki, currently Yukinoshita Yukino.

"I didn't expect you would give me back a chocolate honestly. You've been avoiding me for almost a year like an edgy brat who got rejected by their crush, after all." Yukino tosses her hair graciously.

Hachiman quirks his eyebrow. "I wouldn't take your chocolate in the first place, if I didn't have any intention to pay you back." He takes out the last chocolate he has, and presents it to Yukino. "Here is your chocolate."

"Oh my, this is my favorite chocolate." Yukino takes the chocolate eagerly. "Thank you, Chris!" She looks at Hachiman with her brightly shining eyes.

Hachiman keeps silent. He saw Christine's shadow briefly overlapping with Yukino earlier. Although they have some uncanny resemblances in appearance, seeing Christine's shadow on her really hits him different.

"I am Hikigaya Hachiman now. Chris Sasaki is dead. We are already in a new world—move on." He replied neutrally.

Yukino smiles faintly. "I know about that, Hikigaya-kun. But, I can't just help it. Although we look different, we are still the same person in the inside, after all." She tilts her head. "Well, maybe that's only the case for me—you have changed."

Seeing no reaction from Hachiman, Christine continues, "In the past, you never put any thoughts on things as trivial as paying back girls in White day ... I guess, that Shizuka girl really changes you, huh?" Yukino smiles emptily.

"In other words, you are still as crazy as you used to?" Hachiman quirks his eyebrow.

Yukino shakes her head lightly. "No. Psychopathy doesn't equal to madness—you should've known it better."

"I know. That's why I didn't address anything about psychopathy; I was asking about your craziness." Hachiman shrugs.

Yukino stays silent for a while, before eventually answering, "It depends on how you see it ... I don't have such unconscious thoughts anymore, but my mindset hasn't changed yet. These changes only happen because I occupy this new body."

Staring deeply into Hachiman's eyes, Yukino asks, "Is it not the case for you?"

Hachiman keeps quiet, before eventually raising his hand. "Well then, I need to go to the gym. It's been a pleasant conversation." Walking pass Yukino, he waves his hand mildly. "Bye, Yukinoshita."

Hachiman is aware that Yukino is burning a hole through his back with her gaze. However, he decided to ignore it entirely.

He, more than once, has had a thought of doing something crazy only to find his conscience stopping him.

Yukino—Christine's word has hit home.

...

In Valentine's day, one doesn't only receive chocolate from friends or lovers, but also family. That being the case, Hachiman got one from Komachi, and his Maiko-chan.

Therefore, after his gym training, he quickly heads to his family's house; he also wants to pay them back!

"My lovely and sweet sister, your beloved Onī-sama has come!"

At Hachiman's narcissistic entrance, Komachi gives a "Meh," turns her back on him, then leaves him alone in the doorway.

Hachiman doesn't falter a little bit. He merely closes the door, takes off his shoes, then heads to the living room. Komachi is there, chilling in the sofa while watching TV, completely ignoring him.

He is a little bit puzzled with Komachi's behavior lately. She seems actively avoiding him for the past month. He believes he didn't make her angry or whatsoever, and Komachi doesn't show any signs she is angry with him either.

Needless to say, he is puzzled.

'This must be a karma. I have been avoiding Yukino, my soul sister, for so long, and now my biological sister is avoiding me!' He has even thought of that many times.

Still, he prefers logic over beliefs. Therefore, he is going to address the matter directly, and make sure what is happening right now.

He sits right besides Komachi in the sofa, and makes his body as close as he can with Komachi. As he expected, Komachi moves away from him.

"Komachi, do you hate your brother?"

Komachi turns her head to Hachiman, and stares at him disinterestedly. "No, I am not. Family should never hate each other." She shrugs, before turning her eyes back to the TV.

"Then, why are you avoiding me?"

"I am not avoiding you, Onī-chan. I'm a grown-up lady; I just need some space alone." Glancing at Hachiman from the corner of her eyes, she says, "Rather than that, aren't you the one who is being too clingy?"

"Gahak! My heart! Komachi-chan has shattered my heart!" Hachiman clutches his chest in mock pain.

At that, Komachi mutters lowly, "Onī-chan never takes me seriously, does he?"

"I have always taken you seriously, Komachi."

Taken aback, Komachi turns to Hachiman. He is no longer posing like a retard having a heart attack; he is standing straight, assuming his serious mode.

"That is why I want to know what I have done wrong. I want to know the thing that bothers you. If it's really about my clinginess, I will make a distance from you from now on." He said seriously.

Komachi shakes her head. "No, I didn't mean that ... I mean—I just ..." Standing up from the sofa, Komachi shouts in frustration at Hachiman, "I don't know! I don't know what is happening to me!" Then, tears trickles down her face.

"I don't understand myself anymore, Onī-chan ... I don't know what is happening to me."

Hachiman keeps his mouth shut, while wordlessly observing Komachi; he is thinking about something.

When his mind reached a conclusion, he approaches Komachi, eliminating the distance between them. Standing right in front of her, he asks about the matter he wants to make sure.

"Do you like me as a man?"

Komachi's eyes widened, and words of denial naturally come out of her mouth. "M-Me? Liking Onī-chan? Ha-ha-ha! That's funny, Onī-chan!" She tries to laugh like usual, but she can't. "There is no way I like you ... There is no way... I don't."

Hachiman nods his head lightly. "I know. That's why you don't have to cry." Wiping the tears off Komachi's face, he continues, "I have noticed about it a long ago."

"Then why didn't you stop what you are doing?" Komachi muttered lowly.

"Because, I love you as my family, as my one and only sister. It doesn't require you to be a lover to be treated like one."

Komachi clenches her fists, and hits Hachiman's chest with them. "Disgusting! You really are the worst perverted scum in the world, a Hachiman!"

Hachiman wants to retort that his name is not an insult, but he holds himself back. He needs to let Komachi pour her heart out.

"How dare you toy with a girl's heart? You say love me? How could you hurt me if you love me?! Why? Just why do you treat me that way? Why do you have to make me fall in love you?! Why ... Why do you have to be my brother? ..."

Komachi clutches Hachiman's training t-shirt tightly, and weeps silently. She is frustrated; saddened, and disgusted at herself; she is afraid of what will happen to her relationship with Hachiman.

However, as always, Hachiman completely erases her angst. He embraces her, and holds her tightly as if he doesn't want to let her go. He, like always, comforts her.

"Love is a unique thing indeed. It can't be seen, but can be felt. It soothes our heart, but ruins our eyes. Like you, I don't understand love—no one can understand it; it's illogical. But, I can say what you are feeling is not wrong."

Rubbing her back gently, he continues, "Love knows no shape, nor boundary; we can love everything we fancy. You, loving me as a man, is not wrong. But I will say this to you, love doesn't always make people together."

Komachi's mouth trembles. She has expected this outcome, but her heart is still pained hearing it.

"When is the moment we know we love something? It's the moment when we lose it. We will do our best to look for it—to take it back, to be ours once again." Hachiman smiles. "That happens to you when Shizuka became my girlfriend, right?"

Komachi nods her head slightly.

"I love you as my sister, and as a woman; it's not wrong. However, I know we can't be together. Therefore, I never pursue you."

Once again, Komachi nods her head.

"Komachi is still a little girl; you haven't experienced the world yet. What you are currently experiencing nothing more than a phase; you'll eventually get over it."

Komachi is still undergoing a puberty. Her hormones are unstable, and so is her thought. She is confused, and Hachiman understands it well—he has been there before.

Pushing Komachi slightly away, he looks into her eyes. "However, I want to let you know, before that time comes, I will always be your lover, your friend, the one who is always by your side." He said warmly.

Bringing his face closer, he says, "And when the time you found your other half comes, I will still be the one who loves you the most; I will always be your brother. I will never leave you; I will always be there for you. You will always be in my heart."

He kisses Komachi's forehead, and embraces her once again.

Komachi is crying loudly this time. "Uwaa! Onī-chan! Never leave me, Onī-chan! Uwaaaa! I will always love you too, I promise!"

"Yeah, I won't leave you. Even if your boyfriend dumped you in the future, I would still be there for you and become your crying shoulder. Of course, I'll take the bitch's head first." He smiles.

"It sucks! You suck at joke!" Although Komachi is still crying, one can faintly spot a hint of happiness in her tone.

Hachiman merely chuckles, then turns his eyes to the corridor. Someone is standing there while looking at them with a sad smile.

It is Maiko. She turns to Hachiman, and is about to mouth something at Hachiman. However, he quickly puts his finger in front of his mouth, and silences her.

"I know. You don't need to be sorry; it's not your fault," is the thing Hachiman conveys through his gesture.

Unconsciously, Maiko tears up too.

That day became a day full of tears for the family. However, they became closer with each other after that day, and their bond became even stronger.

Just like that, Hikigaya Hachiman finds himself integrated into his family.