Chapter 25 – Looking Back 01

Actually, during my vacation in Malibu four months ago, it wasn’t my first time seeing Sunny. I met her after my break up with Sue. She was a students at the time, graduating, maybe. She was an assistant for some journalist that interviewed me about my break up three weeks after the announcement. She was shy like she won’t even look me in the eye and she will only talk to me if her boss sent her to me for some information. I was quite annoyed with her because when I ask some questions she would ignore me and she won’t even answer me.

[Flashback]

Five years ago,

It was a very memorable first meeting with her. She was the nerdy type. You know, with the eyeglasses and the weird loose outfit. She challenged me to approach girls because I didn’t really talk to anyone especially girls for quite some time. I was upset but for some reason she was the catch me if you can type when I was following her around, being friends of sort.

We bonded for more than a month because they were in New York for some big news and Lucy, the journalist, was hired by Jericho’s company to do some journalism stuff that I don’t care about and that gave me the time to get to know Sunny. She was friendly, sweet, big humor and I would hang out at the company more. Being friends with her gave me the comfort I needed to free from my break up.

So, I thought that I was in love again and I thought that I am ready to court her or something special for her but reminding myself of the journey that I experience with Sue, I didn’t gave Sunny the credit she wanted at the time. Being my girlfriend was what she feared because she worry too much of the consequences and her dreams and all. I wasn’t just a rising star. I was already King Teen Superstar and all eyes are with me and that she knows that being my girl would be very challenging if we take it to the public.

She is the one who told me to keep it a secret relationship because she was applying to work as a reporter for a big news company in New York and she can’t have it like she is thinking way beyond the future that if she get the job and everyone will think that it was because of me that she got the job so I agreed. I wasn’t even thinking of being a good boyfriend. I felt like I just needed her company that’s why I agreed to be her secret boyfriend.

“Are you sure you want this relationship a secret?” I asked. She was thinking too much and she looks me in the eyes and said “You just broke up with your hotshot girlfriend and if you say that you’re dating again and what will the people think of you?” I realized something after she said that, my break up. “Well, I thought you’re ready and If you’re not then we can stop this before this goes big” I said pushing her to go public. Maybe, I was thinking at the time that I needed to show Sue that she’s not worth it and I found a new girl to fall in love with. That’s the harsh reality that I was facing at the moment. To fully give myself to anyone again or to play along and just go for the ride. I thought that dating Sunny will be healthy and I was wrong.

Two months of dating secretly was really hard. I had to push every moment in my house or I’d go to her apartment secretly. That wasn’t the hard part because the real pain was that everytime I’d go to her, I always go to the bar first and then to her. All she came for is the drunk me and that went on for two weeks until she had enough and she finally said. “You know, I take this relationship seriously. I want this to work to both of us but what you’re doing is just like putting a red tape in our relationship so you better make up your mind or I am done with this.” and she left me in my house fully sober and seriously thinking what to do next.

She never went to my place again. She was absent for two months straight and missing her was the key to opening this relationship to a healthy one but the moment I saw her again when I tried to work things back to normal was she already left me. She was dating a coworker of hers and that she was happy. Stalking her feeds are the worst feeling and in my mind, I wasn’t done with her. I felt betrayed and lost with the problem and solving the equation was hard. I was making music while thinking of her.

I would redo everything and start writing again. I visited the bar often and that gave me the freedom to feel nothing. I continued working and composing. I would write about me growing but thinking outside the box was it was just about being a disappointment, the heartbreak and all the feeling of just being lost. I would cry sometimes writing the lyrics or hearing sounds that would create some melodramatic situation and I was really disappointed with my works but it wasn’t actually bad. People loved it and my album stayed on the top number list for five straight months. I got tons of awards about the songs I wrote. I continue to write until I met Yannie. the star of my youth. I never mentioned her on any of my interviews, my songs and even on the list of the girls I dated. Nobody knew that I dated Yannie until the accident. Jericho was the only one who knew and that he knew because of that accident. I wasn’t sure if who I dated was Yannie or should I call her Patty first.