9 A mother's guilt

The next morning, Mimiko woke up earlier then she did. She's lost in thought of what have she done to her own son pleasuring her. ' I mean it's not my fault right!? he's the one that did 'that' to me... But, but still... why didn't I stopped him? he, he doesn't even know what he did! while here I am, regretting all the ple- pleasures just a moment ago... Wha- what should I do!?' Mimiko thought while staring at sleeping Tatsuya, while her right hand is in her mouth to avoid making any noises. She's on the edge of crying.

" I'm so- sorry Tatsuya... Your mother didn't mean it! it's just that... she can't stop you!" she said as she kissed Tatsuya on his forehead while her tears are flowing down to her cheeks onto her chin.

...

The morning now comes up as the sunlight passes through the window to Tatsuya. " Ahhh... I forgot to close the curtains..." As he opened his eyes, he didn't see any signs of his mother and he smelled a breakfast from the kitchen.

He washed his face and cleaned himself up, but he didn't changed his clothes for some reason.

He walked down to kitchen and there he saw his mother deep in thought while cooking and Sakura sitting on the chair waiting for food.

"Good morning, Little brother!" she said as she rushed towards Tatsuya and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Mimiko woke up from her thoughts as she heard Sakura greeting Tatsuya.

"Good morning, sis!" he said as he smiled to Sakura. " Good morning, mom!" he added as he looked to Mimiko who is shocked to his greetings.

"Goo- good morning!" she said as she smile awkwardly but trying her best not to show it.

"That's weird..." Sakura said still hugging Tatsuya.

"What?" Tatsuya said in confusion. But he knows why.

"You smell weird today..." Sakura said as she sniffed and sniff Tatsuya.

Mimiko blushed a lot and looked payed attention to what she's cooking emediately, not to show her embarrassed face to her children.

"You think so sis? it's just mo-" Tatsuya has been cutted by Mimiko.

"Ok, now... breakfast is ready... let's eat now, ok?" Mimiko immediately said before Tatsuya could tell more to his sister.

"ok." They both said simultaneously.

...

The day went by the same as ever. The difference is that, his mother Mimiko always in deep thought and always looks so down. Like she's on the edge of crying all the time.

When he always asks if she's ok, She'll just say ' I'm fine' or ' no it's nothing, I'm just thinking of something, don't worry about me.' Then she'll give him a kiss on his forehead.

And everytime he asks this questions, Mimiko is always feels her guilt being heavier to her heart. She just wants to cry out loud and kill herself out of conscience. But, she can't! ' who will feed them? who will take care of them? it's not like Aoi is not there, but, I don't want to cause her any more trouble. I don't also want my children to live in the streets just because their mother commits suicide.' That's what she always thought.

...

"Tatsuya... can you sleep with your sister this night? I just want to be alone..." Mimiko said to Tatsuya while giving him a warm smile.

" Why mom?" he said as he gave her a confused look.

"It's just that... Maybe, I'll tell you when I'm ready ok?" She said with sadness showing on her face again.

Not being pushy, Tatsuya agreed and when Mimiko's gone to her room early, he told Sakura what their mom told him.

"REALLY!?" Sakura said excitedly. For the first time in her history of begging. She can now sleep with her little brother for the first time!

" But I think I'll sleep in my room Instead...I want to be ready for my first day of school nxt week..." Tatsuya said as he was about to go to his room. 'Now is not the time for thi--'

He was pulled by her sister to her room. "NO, NO, NO... YOU'LL SLEEP WITH YOUR BIG SISTER TONIGHT OK!?" Mimiko said as she gave a terrifying sister aura.

"Bu- but--" Tatsuya has been cut out again.

"BUT!?" She gave him a terrifying look.

Not wanting to go any farther... he just agreed. And in a split seconds, The aura has returned to normal and Sakura is smiling again happily like nothing happened.

...

In her room... Mimiko is thinking so deeply on what she should do. She'll stare so far away then she'll cry... then she'll stare again so far away... repeating this situation all night.

"I'm a failure as a mother!? How can I blame my son when I said that I need more!? Ho- how can I when I kissed him so hard at the end of what 'happened' to us!?" She mumble to herself as she cried again.

"please wake me up if this is a bad bad dream!!! Someone please! I want my peaceful life with my children... Like a normal relationship!'" She said as she almost shouted out of anger and sadness.

...

The next morning, Mimiko woke up early again and she cooked some breakfast. She saw Sakura happily cuddling to her little brother who is looks struggling as he walks.

They greeted each other and they eat their breakfast.

"You look so happy today... something happened?" Mimiko said to start a conversation and have a normal talk.

" Yes! *chuckle* I just watch Tatsuya sleep cuddling to me all night!" she said as she hug her brother again beside her.

" Yo- you watch me sleep!?" Tatsuya said blushing.

"So cute!" She said as she chuckle again.

Mimiko just stared at them thinking that, this is the life she wanted. Normal relationship, No problems, Always happy... But, it can't happen now. After the things that happened, the thing that cannot be taken back.

"Tatsuya can we talk to our room tonight?" She said carefully not to break the mood.

"Ok, mom." He said as he gave her a smile.

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AUTHOR HERE! hmmm... can't say anything... Haha! I hope you liked this chapter! and... please support me as motivation to every chapter I write!!! Thank you to those who always shows their support, and to those who didn't show it but still supports me!!