Chapter 530

All of a sudden, he pushed me away from him and stood up. I continued to lay there where I fell on, I could not find the will to get up or move from my position. What this what my life was resigned to?. Is the future so bleak that a hint of light cannot pass through?. Why was it that it became worse the further we go, our past actions were it really worthless and will it continue to be so?. These were the things that was running through my mind whilst I laid there. Juna came to stand beside me, from my pheripheral vision it was obvious that he wanted to touch and ask me how I was feeling but he was restraining himself as he did not know how I would react,

To be honest that was for the best. If it was up to me, I would like to be alone to sort through my thoughts and think of how I will get through this but it is obvious that this was only the beginning. I could hear the force with which the Elder's foot hit the ground as he paced. It was obvious that he was trying to get himself under control but it looks like he was not doing a good job of it. I had already resigned myself to accept whatever he wants to do to me, it is often heard that we should do all we can to live a d fight another day but I am not sure how much truth that words hold. We had been procrastinating and living out lives but in all the fight we still end up being defeated. How long are we going to keep avoiding the fight?.

For all I know, I am not guilty of all his accusations laid against me. I had told him everything as much as I could remember that transpired between his son and I. Next time, if such a situation occurs, I would just sleep in his mother's tent and stop trying to search him out to make amends. In as much as good relationship matters, as we do not know the person that we would have to run to during the time of trouble, we still have to secure our hearts. Emotions and feelings only make you weak in the face of survival, it should have been drilled into my head already as this was the cold we lived by.

" Pick her up" I knew I was the her he was referring to, it seems the break time I was awarded was over and it was time to continue,

I did not want anyone touching me right now, so before Juna could place his hands on me, I was already getting up on my own. I was not going to give the elder the satisfaction of seeing the broken reaction that he wanted on my face. I and only I, have the right to break me. JUST ME