26 The Breakup

The Admiral turns and looks in your eyes. He realizes that you aren't joking. He takes off his glasses and put the tip of the glasses on his lip. He paces up and down, thinking about what you just asked him.

"Mmm, normally we don't do this-"

"I completely understand, sir. Thank you and have a good night"

You turn around to start walking out of the tent.

"Wait! I didn't say that I won't do it, I just said that we normally don't do this. I think that your request is very reasonable. After all, you saved the life of the best Seal we've got. This is the least that we can do for you, to say thank you. Also, I did say if you ever needed anything, just ask"

You feel the joy bursting inside, bubbling over. You're getting to talk to your mom again and maybe your sister too.

"Thank you, thank you so very much"

"Now, Dr. McPherson, please write the phone number down for me, so that we can call them for you? It should be around two in the afternoon there. Will that be suitable for you?"

You think to yourself, you know that your sister should be there and if you're lucky, your mom too.

"Yes, it's a perfect time, thank you, sir"

He smiles and then takes the piece of paper you wrote the number on. He walks around his table and he gestures to you to have a seat across from him. He picks up his satellite phone that looks like a very old cellphone. He starts to press a few buttons and you hear how the phone rings. He hands you the phone and then pats you on your shoulder.

"I'll be outside having a smoke, take your time…"

"Thank you so very much, sir"

You feel your heart rate picking up as you know that you could conceivably hear your mother's voice once again. Then it happens.

"Gena, hallo?"

"Mom!"

"Kim??? Is that you??"

You start to cry but it soon turns into sobs.

"Yes, mom, it's me!"

"Oh my god, honey, how are you??"

"Mom, it's so good to hear your voice, I miss you so damn much!"

"Oh, honey, me too, me too! And your dad and sister too"

You try to swallow your uncontrollable sobbing but it's so difficult to control yourself, while you know you're stuck on an island that isn't safe. You don't want to tell her where you are, cause she will worry about you too much.

"Mom, I don't have much time to talk but I wanted to hear your voice and let you know that everything is going well here and that I'm very happy that I chose to do this"

"It's so good to hear that, honey! I was thinking if you were regretting going out there but now I know that you belong there. I know that you can only be happy if you did something that you really wanted to do"

"I'm so happy here, mom. Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Sure honey, anything?"

"Is my sister around? Can I please speak to her?"

"Yes, I'll go call her"

"Mom?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I love you so very much…*sobs* and I love dad, please tell him that?"

"Oh baby, I love you too and I'll be sure to tell him. You stay safe. You hear me, honey?"

"Yes, mom. I'll try my very best"

You hear how she puts the phone down on the table and shouts for your sister to come to the phone. You smile as you know exactly how it looks, sounds, and smells in your home, in your hometown. For just one second, you wish you could be back home, sitting at the dinner table. You would laugh and talk about your day. How your dad would tell you all about the ins and outs of farming and how it isn't for everyone. Then someone picks up the phone.

"Kim?? Is that you??"

"Yeah, it's me! God, I've missed your annoying voice"

"Me too! I've missed your lame jokes. How are you??"

"I'm happy, sis. I'm so damn happy here"

"I'm so glad to hear you say that. Mom and dad were panicking about you going and if you would be happy. All I hear the entire day, every day, is, I wonder how Kim's doing? Will Kim be okay? Is Kim happy?"

"I'm happy to hear that you guys are thinking of me cause I'm thinking a lot about you. Listen, sis, I need to ask you a favor please?"

"Anything, anything you need? What can I do for you?"

"I need you to get a message to John…"

"You know, he's been miserable these past few weeks"

"He is?"

"Yes, I've never seen him so depressed. I would see him just sitting at the pub, doing nothing. Not even hanging out with his friends or anyone for that matter. All the girls are seriously zooming in on him, now that they know you aren't in the picture anymore but he wants nothing to do with them"

(No! No! No! This isn't how it's supposed to go. He's supposed to have moved on and forget about me completely. He isn't supposed to be upset and brooding. Damn you, John! You know this wouldn't have worked between us!)

"I'm so very sorry to hear that. I'd hoped that he would've moved on"

"Sis, how can he move on when you guys said you'll try to do the long-distance thing?"

"He and I knew that this wouldn't work. We've talked about this in detail and we both know that this wouldn't last. I think he's just mourning me as I already did him-"

"Already did?"

"Yeah, yeah sis. Already did. I can't keep doing this to him and he can't keep doing it to himself. I need to go on with my life over here and he must go on with his life over there. I'll miss him but this isn't healthy for us. Please tell him, please tell him….*sobs*….We need to release the elephant in the room"

You just told your sister to tell John it's over between you. You don't know how to feel. You feel relieved but you can't just let the relationship of ten years emotions just disappear. You do care for John and he's become one of you're best friends, if not your best friend. You just decided to break his heart into a thousand pieces and you know how he is when he's broken. He will crawl even more into himself and you were always the one that got him out of his shell but now, now, he has to get out of it by himself.

He doesn't deserve what's coming to him but you also don't deserve to be here and not being able to be live your life which is naturally going into a different direction. You're growing apart, whether you want to or not, it's happening.

"Are you sure that's the words I need to tell John? It just doesn't make much sense?" You hear how your sister is frowning on the other side.

"Yes, he'll understand it"

You and John have exhausted this topic many months before you were leaving and you used to say that we shouldn't let the elephant be released because then your relationship will be over.

"Listen to me carefully, sis, you need to be there for him. He'll be devasted and you need to look after him. You need to….*sobs*….you need to-"

"Kim? Are you breaking up with him?"

"Yes, yes…I need to do this for him and me"

Just then the Admiral walks back into the tent. You quickly wipe the tears from your eyes and turn to him. He mouths to you. "You need to finish"

"Listen, sis, I have to go. Will you do that for me?"

"Oh god….yeah, yeah I'll do that"

"Look after him please, I have to go"

"I will, I promise, you take care okay? You hear me?"

"I will….and thank you for doing this"

"I love you, Kim"

"I love you too, bye"

"Bye"