64 Then Don't

AMY

As I close the door of my quarters behind me, I slide down to the floor just breathing deeply. I do not know why I am so afraid to tell him what I feel but it is too much, too fast. I know that I have probably hurt him now and he would probably not want to see me again.

I have done this so many times before and it always ends up badly. I wish I can just tell him but I do not want to lose my job. I am enjoying being on the ship and doing what I am doing. But I also enjoy his company and I still can not believe that he feels the way he feels.

Maybe this, alone might get me into trouble just because I have denied him or did not really tell him how I feel. I hope that somehow he can forgive me for what I have done. I am such an idiot. What I should do is go back and tell him what I feel.