4 Chapter 4 - Recovering his memories

Somewhere unknown

Ben Parker's P.O.V.

After losing consciousness for who knew how long, his awareness started to return. Usually, it would be a cause for rejoicing, if not for the fact that he was surrounded with nothing but a sort of black 'color'... Well, not exactly the kind of black he knew, as the latter still had the property of reflecting light, even if the human eye could not perceive it.

No, this was the true black 'color'. In other words, the antithesis of light, the epitome of what some people called the void. There was nothing. Not even 'himself'. At least, his perception was incapable of finding it. He was there, but also not there at the same time. Nothingness was clearly confusing.

Feeling unnaturally calm about the whole situation, however, he continued to try discerning anything around him, all in vain. Or was it? 'Mmhh, what are those?' He thought? Said? Not wanting to waste his time with the mystery of how he was 'communicating', he instead 'looked' at the flashes of light appearing close to his location.

At first, nothing was distinguishable, those flashes disappearing almost as soon as they emerged from the void. Fortunately, as time went by, changes became noticeable, as those light sparks remained visible for a longer period of time, until, finally, Ben was able to glean some information from them in the form of silent images.

They induced familiarity in his confused mind as if those were things previously forgotten, he was now allowed to recall. As time passed by, the images became animated, not unlike silent movies, the subject being a man possessing a bizarrely similar physical body to his, the only difference being a shorter height and a less muscular frame.

In history, movies started silent before sound was implemented. Similarly, sounds began to flow out from those films. 'So, the guy is called Damian Knight, uh? Feels familiar for some reason.' Now able to associate speech and images, his understanding of the man deepened, as he kept plunging deeper and deeper into the 'familiar' stranger's life.

After a while, a connection was established between Ben and those animated images, prompting a shocking realization of their origin and halting his thoughts for a few seconds from the surprise. Only after a while was he jolted out of it, as words he never thought would come out of his mouth, actually did. 'My previous life's memories... So, my previous name was Damian Knight... This is... I don't even know...Fuck! I'm so confused...'

How was he even supposed to process that fact, anyway? As if to answer his question, the memories began to fuse with his mind, incidentally helping him clear out his confusion. 'I am Damian Knight then. But I'm also Benjamin Parker. Should I call myself Damian Parker? Or maybe Benjamin Knight?' He thought, amused.

Some said that we were the sum of our experiences and memories. 'I used to have a similar opinion. But, how come I don't feel wrong about what happened? Is it because my soul stayed the same?...' Pondering deeply about the problem for a moment, the answer suddenly came to his mind, causing him to relax and even chuckle in relief.

'My soul IS the same and my behavior also seems very similar to my previous life, at least at the end of it. There're some differences, sure, but not enough to make me a completely different person. Mmmhh... That can only mean one thing. Those experiences and memories are implanted into our souls, shaping our behavior to a certain degree. So, yes, we're the sum of our memories and experiences, but not in the way people think... Thank God! Or whatever entity's responsible for this.'

Now that his identity crisis was out of the way, somewhat anyway, he undertook the task of reviewing all his newly gained memories, all to integrate them better into his existing ones. After all, growth came from the experiences one lived through, and he had a whole thirty years of life on another planet Earth with a different family added to his already extensive list of events he already went through.

'Mmmhh... 30 years old... An estranged father... A loving mother... A brother and a sister, with both of them very supportive of himself... They all loved each other... I did too...' Maybe it was the fact that he lived longer in his current life and had both a loving wife and a nephew he considered as a son, but he did not feel as distraught about never seeing his old family again as one could expect.

Sadness? Yes. However, there was no crushing misery taking him over. He was certain that the situation would have been different if he had reincarnated with his memories right after his birth. Thankfully, he hadn't. Despite feeling somewhat somber, he did not choose to drown in the sadness, being aware of how difficult it would be to extricate himself from it.

Not wasting any more time with the things he could not change, he instead focused on the most interesting part of his previous life. Or should he say, what happened between his two lives, right before his reincarnation. 'I wonder who that guy was...' A powerful entity gifting him three perks of his choice. Learning about what he picked, helped him realize why he could become so physically strong, despite exercising less than many weaker men.

'Equalized adaptive physiology... That's a mouthful. Not that I can complain about having it...' He thought, amazed. Nonetheless, some confusion surfaced when he considered how that perk worked. 'From what I discussed with that entity, the perk should help me get stronger in every basic attribute as long as I stimulate any one of them... Then I should be a lot stronger than I was when I got demolished by that giant worm... Was there a problem with the perk's implementation? Or could it be that it wasn't activated completely? What about the other perks?'

Question after question, thought after thought, no answer was found, and thus, Ben simply decided to put it aside in a corner of his mind until he could eventually solve those questions. His mood improved a lot, even to the point of excitement when he pictured what he would be able to accomplish once he woke up from his unconsciousness. If he was not dead, anyway. 

'Now, what?' Nothing answered his query, as the previous flashes had disappeared as soon as they fused with his mind, leaving him alone in an ocean of nothingness, with only his thoughts as company. Again.

That was until the ambient silence was broken by some voices, all of them uttering broken sentences, none of them being coherent enough for Ben to understand their meaning. "...Broken... Safe... Mess..." The words used were clearly easy to understand, yet they were thrown around with absolutely nothing linking them, creating a baffling mess that no sane person could even start to comprehend.

'Did I reincarnate again or am I just unconscious?' He wondered, puzzled. His bewilderment only lasted until a string of words caught his attention. "...Mrs. Parker..." Someone said. Happiness took over his mind when he heard the next person's voice. "...Husband..."

'She is alive! Thank God, nothing happened to her!' Relief washing over him, he then determined. 'So, I'm still alive, but unconscious. My body should be a mess though... Shouldn't matter that much. It may even be a good thing with my physiology perk since it'll work on my endurance. It may not be the most optimized way to do it, but... It's better than nothing...' 

[A/N: You can refer to the special chapter (Strength Scale (Tentative)) for the basic attributes. Keep in mind that it could change slightly in the future.]

Again, time passed, the exact length completely unknown to Ben. He strangely felt no impatience, however, as if the current situation he found himself in was happening to someone else. He could still feel some boredom though, as only when those broken sentences resounded in that dreary place, did he feel less dull.

Thankfully, he promptly noticed the sentences becoming longer and more coherent as time went by, guessing that it would not be too long before he awakened from his coma. "How is Parker, Doctor..." An unknown man's voice reverberated in his 'ears'. "He... Broken bones... Organs punctured... Small healing factor... Getting stronger... Weird physiology... DNA... Perfect human... Similar to Mr. Rogers and Ms. Romanoff..."

'Why does the name Rogers sound familiar? Wait! Could it be that guy? No way! Even if he didn't die, he would have been an old man by now. Forget it! Let's focus on myself instead. From what they're saying, I seemed to have become a superhuman. That's good! With threats like those aliens before, I'll need all the strength I can get. Especially since the entity said that my powers would influence the universe I'd be sent in... *Sigh* I'm in one of those crazy ones, aren't I?' 

His musings were interrupted by the voice of the first man. "I'm glad that those motherfucking aliens didn't off Parker. We'll need loyal soldiers like him with those outside threats raining on our motherfucking head every other day. I'll need someone to convince him to join Shield, though. If we're lucky, he'll even agree to join the Avengers." 

"Yes, sir. I'm sure he'll definitely be grateful for the offer. It's a wonderful idea, sir." The other man uttered, in a disgustingly flattering tone of voice. A few seconds of silence stretched out until it was broken by the first man. "Stop talking like that. It's fucking disgusting."

The other man seemed embarrassed as his tone switched to apologetic. "I'm so-sorry, sir. I won't do it again." The first man did not press the matter, as he opted to continue the previous conversation instead. "Anyway, how long will it take for sleeping beauty here to wake up?"

The second man seemed uncertain. "I'm not certain, sir. His physical constitution seemed to improve more and more as time passes. If it was at the beginning, I'd have predicted a few weeks at the very least. But now... It should be two days at most..." "What about the shortest?"

"Mmmhh... He could wake up in a few minutes. There's no way to be certain beside waiting." A mutter that would have been too low for a normal human to hear sounded. "Useless motherfucker. Can't even do his motherfucking job properly."

'My old mom would have chewed that guy out for his foul mouth... He doesn't have much variety, though.' "Alright then. Let me know if there's any news." "Yes, sir! I'll be sure to notify you if he wakes up." After the exchange, the only noise he could hear was a kind of repeating beep. 

Having had many injuries throughout his life, he could guess its origin right away. A heart monitor. Wait! How could he hear anything else besides human voices? Was he waking up?

Noticing the incongruity, he quickly started to focus on feeling his body, trying to move his limbs, head, or even his fingers. Unfortunately, the former seemed as if encased in concrete, making the act of moving it, all but impossible. Well, not exactly. The restriction was melting away slowly, but surely. Despite not being able to identify the cause, Ben did not pay it any mind, instead being happy about it. 

Numerous unsuccessful tries later, his fingers trembled so slightly that no other person around would have been able to notice. However, HE knew. He knew that it was only a matter of time before he would be able to wake up and see his loved ones again. He only had to try, try and try again. Success was in sight, his finger trembling the undeniable proof!

And try he did. From a slight tremble to moving those same fingers. He did not attempt moving anything else, though, in case his bones were still broken. Instead, he focused on his eyelids, willing them to rise up more and more until the scene in front of him fully registered in his brain.