4 "to do" list.

Soldier: alright, everyone get out!

screamed the soldier of as everyone exited the cart. He then took out a list and started to call the prisoners.

Soldier: Issei hyoudo.

wait, what?

a teenage nord walked up to the soldier with shaky legs and red eye, it was obvious he cried not so long ago.

Soldier: for multiple sexual assault's and sexual harassment's you are sentenced to death.

the boy didnt respond, and instead just started to cry again while another soldier dragged him away to the chopping block.

...huh, well that happened.

are there other characters from other fictional stories here also?

Soldier: Rias Gremory.

lol nevermind, i just got my answer.

Soldier: for being an insufferable bitch, you are sentenced to death.

Yup! seems about right.

unless we are talking about canon Rias. In that case she is just dumb girl with negative IQ.

like seriously, all those fanfiction writers apparently didnt even bother with reading the novel, and just watched the anime.

or maybe they didnt watch the anime at all and just know DxD from the fanfics.

Rias is not a evil scheming bitch in canon...well okay, i lied. She is, but not as much as all those fanfics pictured her to be.

As i said earlier...she is just a dumb devil with negative IQ.

but honestly what do you expect from characters in a anime that was clearly meant to be a Hentai?

this went out for a little while until Sam was the only guy left. Seeing Sam the soldier made a confused face and started to go trough the list he was holding in his hand.

a frown soon appeared on his face.

Soldier: hey you! come here.

being a good boy, Sam did as he was told. When he was 3 or 2 steps away from the soldier, the man asked him a question.

Soldier: who are you? you are not on the list.

sudently the entire world stopped and changed into different shades of gray, while in the distance Sam could hear a angry Vampire boy screaming at the top of his lungs.

In the distance: WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

...in what kind of Skyrim crossover did he fucking land! wtf? thats the third anime reference he experienced here, and he was in this world for no more then 10 MINUTES!

[would host like to insert yourself into canon?]

huh? oh yeah, he forgot he wished for this ability.

Sam: yup.

starting in a magical medieval world without a name for yourself is too much of a pain. thank god he was smart enough to wish for this ability.

Sam: i want to be know as "Sam the Enchanter", i am a commoner boy that started traveling at the age of 16. I am a complete genius when it comes to enchanting, and my work is on the level of daedric artifacts if not stronger. I started to sell some items with "small" enchantments on my travel and they were so good that at some point the Empire asked me to create "the strongest magical sword". I of course accepted and asked the most talented and skilled blacksmith to create the best sword he ever created, so i can enchant it later.

damn! Sam is really going far with his backstory.

Sam: he spend a entire month creating the blade and when it was done i put an enchantment that allows the user to deal fire damage so powerful that it would melt trough even Deadric Armor like it was fucking butter. Not only that i also put a healing enchantment that would heal the user of the sword at astronomical level of speed! After i presented the sword to the emperor and let him experience its power, he gave an order to shower me with golden coins and i become rich. OH! and also the sword was named "the flaming God sword"

[is that all?]

Sam: no. After that i started to travel again and in my many adventures i became the lover of Azura, Vaermina, Meridia, Mephala, and Namira.

why did Sam asked to be lover of many female Deadric princes?

well, why the fuck not? At least he has multiple booty calls if he gets horny.

Sam: okay, thats all.

and like that, the world started to move again.

Sam: my name is Sam the Enchanter, and i believe there was a little misunderstanding.

said Sam with a nonchalant tone of voice, and then watched the soldier have a heart attack while the other soldiers who heard him began to sweat buckets of water.

thats right bitches! you dont fuck with a guy who slept with 5 goddesses!

soon the chaos started, and the fun part is that Alduin was not even here yet. The soldiers quickly released him and even General Tullius came to apologize for this misunderstanding.

to be perfectly honest Sam didnt listen at all, and instead started to plan his "to do" list while in the Elder Scrolls world.

it goes like this:

1. genderbend Alduin just for shits and giggles.

2. give the Dragonborn a thighs massage.

3. have sex with best girl Serana.

4. become the dovah king.

5. bitch slap Ulfric.

6. ???

7. CHICKENS! CHICKENS FUCKING EVERYWHERE!

well, this is going to be a wild ride...