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- Dad, have you seen the dragon? (Yrsa)
- Once and that was a long time ago... after the magic herb. (Ulf)
Yrsa puffed up her cheeks and stamped her foot. She looked cute... but I feel sorry for her future husband.
- A real dragon? (Yrsa)
He felt real at that moment... luckily I could fly faster than him. From the accounts of witnesses, I pretended to be a plane... I don't remember much from my stay in the Netherlands.
- No, but we were with Bojan in his cave. When we get there, you'll see for yourself. (Ulf)
We were less than a kilometer from the "dragon lair" and all the way from the camp, Yrsa, Revan and Arne asked me questions... I was also forced by my daughters to carry them piggyback. Several minutes later, we reached cave. I put Revna on the ground and showed my children entrance to dragon lair.
- What are you waiting for? You wanted to see the this place. (Ulf)
- What if we are in the cave and the dragon comes back? (Yrsa)
- If the dragon comes back... then me and your mom will have to make a new daughter. (Ulf)
Yrsa pouted her cheeks again and was about to stamp her foot when Arne joined the conversation.
- How are children made? (Arne)
Fuck... I'm not going to have this conversation, neither now nor ever... and next time I have to be careful what I say. Fortunately, Arne asked about it, he is still stupid enough to distract him, it would be worse with Yrsa.
- You'll find out in due time... if you stay here any longer, the dragon will really come back. (Ulf)
After a few moments my children gained courage... Yrsa, Revna, Arne moved slowly and noiselessly towards the entrance, they were like ninja, it is a pity that every morning at home they did not show such skills. As soon as they heard that breakfast was being prepared, they ran to the kitchen... and didn't use their eyes to get there... a little bunch of Huns.
- DAD !!! (Yrsa)
A few minutes later I heard Yrsa's voice... and I had to get up and check what happened. When I got to the cave, I saw Arne watching the dragon's footprints.
- They are bigger than my head... (Arne)
I looked at Arne... son you're right, Lagertha used to be tight, but when you were born... I patted him on the head instinctively... pushing a watermelon through a lemon-sized hole.
- I know, this dragon is bigger than our ships. (Ulf)
- Would you defeat him? (Arne)
- Yes, not in a fight, but with a trick. I'd kill a sheep, a goat, or a cow, take out the internal organs and stuff it with salt, poisonous mushrooms, nightshades and other poisons... the dragon would be killed by poison or thirst. (Ulf)
- Thirst? (Arne)
- After eating salt and poison, he would feel thirsty... he would fly into the river to quench his thirst and he would drink water until... until he burst. (Ulf)
While I was talking to Arne, Yrsa and Revna prepared an ambush for me... they both clung to my legs and said they wouldn't let me go until I told them some stories.
Like it or not, I told them the story of Wanda, Krak's daughter.
- ...Then Wanda, at the head of her father's army, defeated the Prince, but in order not to provoke further wars, she chose suicide. She threw herself into the Vistula and drowned. (Ulf)
- She was brave... (Yrsa)
- Yes, but she was stupid too. She could marry the Prince and there would be no war, and she could always kill him somehow after she got married. If she had done it wisely, she would have inherited all the land, wealth... she would have become powerful, especially since she could count on her father's support. (Ulf)
- But she was brave !!! (Yrsa)
Talking with a child is like getting into a kicking contest with a horse or like playing chess with a pigeon... no matter how well you play, the pigeon will take a shit on the board, overturn the pawns and fly away proud of the win.
- When you get older you will understand that there are many brave people in the world... mostly in graves... If you've already seen everything, we return to the camp. Tell your mom what you saw... she will definitely want to know all the details. (Ulf)
(Leif / Trygve POV)
- You say Ulf went on an expedition? (Leif)
- Yes, I was in Kattegat, but I was a few days late. Apparently it's a long journey, a year or two. (Trygve)
- We can't help it, the will of the Gods... You will sail again to Norway and gather two thousand warriors. When you come back, we will attack Ireland... the Arabs have a lot of demand for slaves, we recently sent them eight thousand Scots and the Arabs want more. What's the news from home? (Leif)
- Not much, Rollo in the east, Floki is building a huge fleet all the time, I don't know why Ulf needs so many ships. There are not so many people in Kattegat... Ragnar in the north, he has a new wife Aslaug. I also heard strange rumors that Ragnar is acting weird and he spends too much time with this monk whom we once captured. (Trygve)
- I remember him. Ragnar is far north and people like to gossip... never mind him, rest two days and go back to Norway. (Leif)
(End POV)
I sat under a tree, sipping mead and watching Lagertha listen to the tales of dragon paws, and I must admit she was taking it very well... Im my children tale the size of paws had already increased several times... just like the size of any fish I have ever caught.