i

Honestly thinking back to it I wish I wasn't so naive, maybe then I'd still have some of my self respect left. Maybe then I would have done things differently. Maybe of I'd just listened I would have saved myself the suffering.

This is why idiots like me should just avoid making decisions, I think that would be my final stupid choice in this lifetime. But honestly it wasn't my fault.

It wasn't my fault for being inexperienced and it wasn't my fault for believing all the lies. I accept the fact that I wasn't being smart and I accept the fact that if i hadn't dived head first I wouldn't have been in this mess. However no one would blame me for wanting to experience life, to experience a thrill so enchanting it took my breath away. A thrill that I don't regret but know how much of a mistake I made thinking it wouldn't hurt me.