Meeting the bird

My first love was as special for me than what I told others. No one knew how much it meant to me. It all started as just a classmate then it changed as we get closer. But before all that we didn't noticed each other until the third grade, I used to show him how to do some school staff, play together and laugh at each other's jokes. After few months I changed class, not because of my choice but because of some reasons. Then I had no choice but to move on. But deep inside I started missing him, that's when I knew I had crush on him. So, then I told to my best friend about it, she said "he might be special but there are more like him so feel free and move on". So, then I did as she told me and moved on. It wasn't that hard because I didn't know him that well. I started getting along with my new classmates and totally forgot about him. A year later I returned to his class. At the time I got back, I did something that might have made him jealous. The thing was, I told this guy from the other class I had feelings for him, but it wasn't that serious. He kept asking me about him, he didn't take it seriously as well but as a joke. After few days everyone forgot about him. After all that we started playing together a lot, spending more time together and having fun. On the last day before the summer break, we were playing a game of truth or dare with our friends and I chose truth then they asked me If I like him. He was in front of me when they asked me so I couldn't lie about it and then I said, "I do". Our friend always ships us. So, they were so happy when I said I do. I think he was happy too. Then it was summer break, we didn't see and talked to each other in our summer break. After our summer break I was so excited to see and hug all my friends specially him. But I didn't get to hug him but talked to him, I guess it was all I needed at that time. We continued having fun and playing football together, I really liked playing soccer specially with him around. We had so many things in common. Each day we were getting closer and closer, I was catching feelings same for him, but he didn't say anything so did I. But we used to give each other this look, or should I call it an eye contact which was full of love. Then one day he sent his best friend to tell me how much he loves me because he was too shy to tell me in person and he sent a letter for me it was his first love letter that he gave me the letter was about how much he loves me and thinks about me a lot, that's when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I had feelings for him, so I said yes. I saw how much happy he was, I can't even describe how happy he was. It made me happy too. Then he started sending me letters because he was shy to talk to me in person. He was really funny he always makes me laugh. Even if I had the worst or busy day, he tries his best to make me happy. And one day, it was our lunch time his friends came and told me that he had a big surprise for me, I was so excited. And then he himself came up to me and told me he loves me and gave me a bracelet. It was the best day for me. It wasn't just a bracelet for me, it was special. We were really happy together, but then suddenly he stopped trusting me, I think. He sent me a letter saying that he thinks I forgot about him and that am with someone else, but I wasn't. I was just playing with my guy friend which was his friend too. Then I wrote a letter back to him saying that I don't want him anymore if he doesn't trust me, and that how much I'm better without him. But I wasn't, I was so sad that I didn't want to talk about him or see him. But soon enough he apologized and said sorry. I was so mad at him, so I didn't forgive him, but I saw him so sad it broke my heart. And then I forgive him and asked him why he didn't trust me, he said he did trust me, but he explained that he was just jealous of me hang out with his friend. So, I stopped hanging out with his friend, but then I found out that his friend has a crush on me, I didn't see that coming. I thought we were just friends, but he didn't feel the same way. Even after I stopped hanging out him, I was hearing some rumor, saying he still likes me. And I had to stop the rumor, so I asked his friend if he likes me, and he said yes at that time he was dating my best friend. So, things were getting complicated, then on my mind I kept thinking that I don't want to lose my best friend and the person who I like the most which was my boyfriend. So, then I planned to make him hate me, it might be selfish but that's what I had to do, so then I did. He didn't hate me but got over his feelings for me. And then everything was back to normal, and we started playing together with no drama just having fun. We started protecting each other like if anyone hit me, he would defend me and stuff. Our love was getting stronger until something happened, and we stopped going to school. So, he started to spend more time with his neighbors. We used to text each other, and the only way I would talk to him was just through text, he wasn't fully available for me, because he was hanging out with his neighbors. One day he added me to his neighbors group chat, and I was okay with it. Then his birthday was coming so I planned a birthday surprise for him, it took me a week or so to finish it. His birthday came and I was so excited for him, so I said good morning, hi and something more. He was active but didn't replay and I got straight to the point and said happy birthday to him with a short happy birthday video he still didn't reply. The worst part was that he was texting in the group chat and talking to his neighbors and ignored me. I was so angry; I saw some changes in him than before. He stopped putting effort to our relationship, that's when I knew that our love isn't the same as before. So, then I ended things with him, but it didn't end as I expected. He started insulting me, it was like I was talking to someone else; I didn't think he had that much hate inside of him. Everything he said was full of hate and jealousy, that's when I knew that we weren't going to get back together. The worst part was that he said that he loves someone else. I was heartbroken, I couldn't believe that it happened, I was full of tears. I always thought we were open with each other, it turns out he had feeling for another person and got over me. It basically means he cheated on me. At that time, I had no one to talk to but my best friend, she was next to me from the being, so I told her about it. She was so angry at him because she also thought that he was honest and a humble person. So, it was unexpected, shocking, and unbelievable for her, she was so angry, so she said really bad things to him.

After all that I was ready to move on, I took a break from all social media, phones, and all others. I didn't talk to him for over 6 months. After I took a break from all that when I unblock him, I got more than 20 texts from him, saying "sorry "," I made a mistake "," forgive me "and more. The reason I unblocked him was to clear thing up and make sure I don't want nothing but to be friends with him. And I started explaining, who I thought he was. He explained about somethings like about the girl which he said he likes and more. He said that the reason he said he likes her was to make me jealous, I wasn't jealous, but I believed what he said his reason was. We continued texting, not like before but just once a week or so, and then suddenly I got a dm on Instagram from this girl. She looked familiar so I replied to her. Back when he told me he loves someone else, he told me her name and I knew her, he introduced her to me. But the girl who dm me wasn't the girl he introduced me. So, then she started asking questions about me and him. The questions were like "why did u guys broke up?"," are u still dating?" and so on. I was so confused, she kept asking me questions and then she told me that they are together. She was also his neighbor and I didn't know what to believe. And then she was begging me to tell her why we broke up, I wasn't ready to tell her, so I said no, she kept begging me. So, then I told her, but not the whole thing it was in short. The girl that dm me was friends with the girl that he said he likes. So, I wanted to know the whole story, so I asked her she said, "he told me that he likes me first and I liked him, so I told him I like u too". And I had to know more, so I asked him too, he said "she told me she likes me first, so I said I do too". Then after few days later, I was talking to her and she told me that they broke up. I was shocked, I asked her if I was the reason, they broke up she said, "no you are not the reason". Then she explained her reason, and I felt sorry for them. But the question on my mind was "why did he ask me to be with him again when he was with her ". I didn't mention that he was asking me to be with him again and again, he was telling his friends to beg me to be with him, that was how much he was begging but I kept saying no. And then to make him stop begging me I confronted him about her and this all happened before they broke up, few days later they told me they broke up. You might think am the reason they broke up, but I wasn't, she is the one who broke up with him. So, then I made him promise to me that he has to be open with me and that I will be too. When this was happening, I moved on I had my own crush, but it wasn't official we were just friends, and we play a lot together. As I promised I had to tell him that I had a new crush, so I did. After few days later I suddenly stopped to like that guy with zero reasons. Back when I told u that we stopped seeing each other because of some reasons and started to text, remember? We didn't see each other for more than a year so a year later we saw each other. I didn't know how to feel, I missed him so much that when I saw him all my feelings came back. When I say feelings, I mean like an excitement, joy and so much more. We were smiling at each other when we see each other, but we didn't talk to each other because as I mentioned he is shy, and I was too. We only saw each other for three days so at the last day we gave each other a goodbye hug. You might say "what!? a hug" I know it might feel of, but it was all I needed at that moment. We love each other and I still know it but we decided we are better as friends. And we are still friends.

The End