Chapter 1 : WITCH TIME! (1)

"Liam!"

"Huh...?"

*bonk*

a chalk is accurately thrown onto my head the impact of the chalk makes me jerk my head back.

"I told you not to snooze in my class!"

"What class? This is harassment! I'm calling---"

I froze as I looked at my surroundings... It's unfamiliar! Where the fuck am I!? A classroom? But I've long since graduated from it! and what's with the look?

"THE ONLY ONE YOU'RE CALLING IS YOUR PARENTS TO COME TO THE SCHOOL THIS INSTANT!"

And with that I was escorted by the middle aged teacher into the principal's office. and what's with this school it looked familiar with all those blazers and uniforms!

===

I'm Standing before the principal's office. The thing that's running through my mind right now is...

What the actual F*** and THANK GOD I'm here. I'm in persona 5 baby! I may end up as a nobody in that world, but in this world, at least I'll be a nobody who knows somebody!

"Liam, you can come in now."

And so I did... and the familiar fat principal that looks like a ball is there.. AND WHY THE HELL IS THAT BOMBSHELL HERE!?!? ISN'T THAT ...

Jeanee!?!??! She looked just like how she did in Bayonetta 2 with Long hair and... that's hair right? her dress?

"Naughty, Naughty..."

Jeanee turned towards me and pulled my ears... HOLY CRAP YOU'LL TEAR IT RIGHT OFF! SHE CAN LIFT ME UP WITH JUST MY EAR WHAT KIND OF WITCHCRAFT IS THIS!?

"If that is all then I shall be taking my leave...."

"Of course Ms. Jeanne... Wouldn't want to keep a person like yourself here. I'm sorry to have to call you here."

"Of course... There'll be no next time right... Liam?"

"!?!?"

"Do I have an answer?"

"Of course...."

I resigned to my fate as she dragged me out of school in my ear and everyone looked at me ... she didn't just dragged me, I was literally lying on the floor as she pulled my ear...

this is... painful...

Outside the school a car is waiting for us... IS THAT A LINCOLN CONTINENTAL? The car looks like it's from the 60s AND IT HAS AN OPEN ROOF! WHOA! A RED ONE AT THAT!

"So... What did you do?"

Jeanee asks me in a motherly tone...

"You want the unbelievable truth? or a believable lie?"

She raised an eyebrow as she started the car.

"Tell me both and let me be the judge"

"Ok. you're not going to believe this, but whoever had this body... it's not me... I've crossed and suddenly found myself in this mysterious class. AND HOLY SH--"

"Language!"

"*cough cough* and you don't know how excited I am to be here but nice to meet you by the way Jeanee! and How's Bayonetta?"

She stopped the car and looked at me

"..."

"..."

"Do you know who I am? And how did you know Bayonetta?"

"Well not you --- you, but the you in my previous world. you're a character in your game. You're a witch. you can do some sick moves. and you're in contract with madam Styx I believe. and somehow when you do your special attack, your clothes come off..."

"..."

"..."

She turned the car around and we're heading somewhere else it seems.

"And... What about liam?"

"Liam? I'm sorry but I told you I have no recollection of him. and I'm not your Liam. although My name in my previous world is also Liam..."

she looked at me with... disappointment? huh? is this body someone important to her?

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Where in the story are you right now? Have you punched a statue to the sun?"

"... Yes"

"Ah sweet!"

"OH! OH! OH! You'll get captured by some Inferno demons later down the line, so watch out yeah?"

"... WHAT?"

"yeah that's the whole story of the second game..."

"I had a second game!?"

"Well not you... but Bayonnetta... So yeah Bayonetta 2..."

"!?!?!?"

"Since you've punched a statue into the sun, that means that sometime in the future in some festival you'll get captured by inferno demons... I forgot the plot though..."

and then the car came into a screeching halt! thank god I wear seatbelts! If not I'll be flung far away....

===

Gates of HELL... no not that gate but this gate is a freakin Bar! in the middle of tokyo! who would have thought!

"RODIN!"

"Ah! Jeanne has been a long time, How bout some drinks, Enzo's tab!"

"HOLY CRAP YOU'RE RODIN! HEY HEY CAN I BE LIKE YOUR DISCIPLE OR SOMETHING?"

"Liam? Why are you here? and which motherf**** f*** with my niece? Tell Uncle Rodin, he'll assign a little hole in hell for that guy."

"EH???"

"Nah I'm just messin with ya', but if you do find someone you fancy let uncle Rodin meet her ok?"

"...ok..."

A whole explanation later....

"Oh! That's it? well I did tell you the kid you pick up is an empty shell... now the shell just got a personality!"

"... What?"

"You picked me up somewhere?"

"Yeah she did... she even asks you to call her mommy."

I looked at Jeanne...

"Ok then. Mommy, Let me reintroduce myself. I'm Liam, You may not be my mother..."

Jeanne looks sad...

"But you're my mommy..."

That's chingy as hell...

"PFFFT HAHAHAHAHAHA! Nice work kid!"

"So... Jeanne told me you knew about us, care to elaborate?"

And so I told them about bayonetta 1 & 2. but in the middle of my story.

"Wait wait wait! hold up, I gotta call Cereza, She may want to hear this."

WHOA I'm going to meet Bayonetta in the flesh! And sure enough the door suddenly opened, and lo and behold Bayonetta herself in the flesh! and Enzo... Bayonetta's errand boy. They dressed like they did in bayonetta 2.

"JEANNE! IT's been too long! Muah Muah!"

"It's only been 2 days since Cereza."

"And what's with that frown?"

Cereza Immediately Took Jeanne to the bar as they chatted with Rodin. As Enzo approaches me.

"So... How's the school kid?"

"It's a surprise."

"Yeah, tell me about it! WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT! DID YOU JUST REPLIED? AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE SOUL-LESS OR SOMETHING!"

the fat man fell down his chair after I replied.

The girls heard him falling. and finally turned their attention to me.

"So the little boy finally has a soul!"

"What do I call you? Bayonetta or Cereza?"

"Oh my! Call me Mama..."

as she gave me a wink.

"Mommy should I call her mama?"

I asked Jeanne. As she immediately hugged me and squeezed my cheeks... calm down little brother. These are the top 2 women you don't touch. CALM DOWN.

"Awww.... Hear that Jeanne! He sounded so sweet...."

Rodin a little help?

"*Cough* *Cough* Girls... give the little man some space..."

You da best! as I was released from the hug, I immediately sat myself.

"So little Liam... tell mama all about your misadventures!"

"...Ummm actually I'm not a little boy I'm a bonafide adult in ---"

I look at Jeanne and see her face getting sad.

"*cough cough* I'm still Mommy's child, don't get me wrong, but previously I was a 2x years old software engineer. but one day I just fell asleep and here I am."

"So you're basically still a kid? but with work experience! I can use someone with your expertise here!"

Someone call the cops! this is child labour!? AND WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU NEED A SOFTWARE ENGINEER FOR? IT'S NOT LIKE PARADISE OR HELL GOT ANY ELECTRONIC DEVICE!?

"If so then isn't Enzo a kid?"

"Ah him? He's 162. he's barely legal."

"152! RODIN!"

"..."

WHAAAA?

"You'll get used to it kid..."

"Umm.... yeah..."

"Anyway. Continue with your story please Liam."

And so I vaguely tell the story of bayonetta 1.

"That's precisely what happened to mommy and mama!"

"Did you like it when we punched the statue dear?"

"Yeah that's a cool moment that gives the player the dopamine rush."

"And to think that you saw Mama during her weakest moments... You must tell me that there's a few embarrassing scenes for Jeanne too."

"..."

"..."

"Really there's no embarrassing scene for Jeanne?"

"Sorry I skipped all those cutscenes."

"Oh yeah then tell us about this... BAYONETTA 2!"

and so I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight.