Chapter 2: Martian Red Skies and My Aegis From Jamais Vu

I was no Sherlock Holmes, and worse, the mystery being presented in front of me was a little more than of an elementary sort.

Was it a mystery though? A devil's script? God's own idea of a prank? Whoever was responsible for this farce, I hope that they are getting a good amount of giggles from my plight. My emotions are a mess right now; their normal flow is obstructed and fucked up in algorithms that even a chaos theorist would not even dare approach. Confusion would be an understatement, irritated would be a tad downplay and being amused was a salty insult being rubbed to my injury.

No, I was certainly not amused with the situation at hand.

The situation was named by yours truly as the Phenomenon and I have confirmed it earlier that it had already affected my entire reality. I had a better idea of what it entailed, but I still couldn't come up with a proper countermeasure for it.

Fret not, for I have Watson. For all the good that they did. I glanced sideways towards my 'Watson' which was Chizuru, as she walked by my side. I had to lessen my strides to allow her to catch up given that she had shorter legs compared to mine. At first she thought that I was going to leave her behind and she was almost jogging in order to match my pace. So we made an unspoken compromise that each one of us should adjust their respective paces for an even journey towards our common destination.

Chizuru seemed to know my thoughts without me speaking them out loud and even though we haven't said a word to each other since we left my house, she appeared to be comfortable with my presence. It felt more like that she knew my habits as my supposed childhood friend, and that's a good setting already. More to the point, I estimated that my usual solitary travelling time from my house to school of five minutes was increased by this new arrangement by at least another five minutes. I didn't mind though, for it gave me some time alone with my thoughts and Chizuru with hers. Somehow I felt that she was mulling what happened with me as well.

Dealing with girls in 3D was a bit different compared to 2D. Hell, you just read some lines and make some choices which would lead you to a happy end. Life, I found out, was much more complicated than that, and seriously, that's why I preferred 2D.

But by checking out Chizuru and the fact that she was here in the 3D realm, I could perhaps slowly appreciate this dimension where my physical flesh resided.

My Watson took note that I was staring at her, and thus she hurriedly averted her eyes away. I did too, for it was a conditioned reflex of mine. I tend to to stare at people when thinking deeply and when they notice me, I would slink my eyes away and pretend to be interested in something else.

Like ooohh, that cloud looks like a castle. Pareidolia was at play, and soon I could spot all the Westerosi seats of power from the Casterly Rock to Winterfell against the azure sky.

Another sideways glance from me without looking like a creep.

Her cheeks were still that bright red; having pale complexion means that one tiny blush would be a vivid presence on your face. And it wasn't from the heat of the early morning sun too or the leisurely pace of our walk. If I had to take a guess, it would be due to the hugging incident earlier that mirrored the Divine Comedy, only it was postulating the fall from Paradiso to Inferno. I mentally decided that I would remove her responsibilities as my Watson that I one-sidedly heaped upon her in the first place.

This road that we slovenly trudged along on was no. 221 Baker Street for it was a simple avenue where the residential area confluenced towards an urbanized centre. Again, I wasn't Holmes and Chizuru wasn't Watson, and certainly the discussion earlier at breakfast wasn't some kind of a criminal investigation.

After explaining the circumstances regarding the perverted incident earlier to my mom (with great difficulty, I might add), she allowed me to regain my dignity in the form of my school uniform. It was the first time that I wanted to cry tears of joy in wearing clothes that befitted a prisoner (in a sense) which I normally detested.

By the time I arrived at the dining room to break my fast, Chizuru was already there and it would seem that she was looking a little worse for the wear, but she gave me a a little smile as I went downstairs. I returned her smile with mine, and she hurriedly looked away. I knew that my smile was a bit crooked and unpracticed, but she didn't have to react that way. I should've settled for a thumbs up or something. Way to go, me.

It appeared that whatever happened earlier was already settled and should be forgotten but it is difficult to do so especially since Chizuru was sitting across me, and by the looks of her, she wasn't that okay too. The savory waft of the breakfast before me reminded me of what I was supposed to be doing and so, I dug in.

The breakfast was peaceful, if a bit stilted, owing to the fact that my mother and my 'childhood friend' chatted like they've known each other since forever, as if the two of them were the osananajimi pair. Get a room, you two. It was like having a Reality Marble erected in front of you, and you just so happened to be dragged inside. They however tried to include me in their conversations: most of which involved me and Chizuru in our elementary years. I made proper conversational noises that comprised of polite grunts and and acceptable 'Hmms', but they paid me no mind when they saw me wolfing down the food. As I listen halfheartedly, I caught some snippets that made Chizuru blush and me a bit melancholic that I haven't experienced those firsthand. The way I heard it, we were unseparable like a single entity and we complemented each other. Like she was my yang to my yin and I was the yin to her yang. Although we slowly drifted apart by a small distance in junior high school, my mother still expected us to get hitched in the end. Another round of blushes, me included this time. Whoever the 'me' in their convos, he was worthy of being called a protagonist. Way to go, me!

Hunger had no delicacy and that was doubly true for me as I gorged upon eggs, bacon, toast, and orange juice to wash it all down. I kept my hands and mouth busy with the food but my eyes and ears were focused upon the pair. They continued talking about Chizuru and me, but even I could feel that there was an underlying sense of unease regarding that incident earlier. My mom was still my mom in this case, showing as much as tact and consideration as she could and never brought up the elephant in the room. I never truly inherited her delicacy in such situations like this.

I could join in and gently steer their conversation, like other visual novel protagonists in some games, towards my liking in order to glean information about my predicament, but I decided to play it safe. Throwing caution to the wind was suicide in this case, as I have no information on hand yet. It was like going behind enemy lines with zero intel and in doing so would end you up stepping inside an antipersonnel minefield.

A depressing thought. Since when did my house turn into an unknown warzone? My life turning into some capricious god's game by having mysterious rules, an invisible game board, rigged dices and coins, and a dealer who quietly smiles as I suffered the consequences, was something I haven't anticipated turning into. Or maybe reality hasn't changed and it's just that my perspective did? The scales fell out of my eyes and now I could see. The question was whether I would accept this or run away as I always did.

Judging by the way things were, such as having the choice system appear and hamper my actions in broad daylight, and a relative stranger calling herself my childhood friend waking me up and that my own parent was chummy with her and expected me to do so because that was natural, it was slowly getting clear that this wasn't some half-assed delusion that I cooked up or some acid-laced lucid dream. Not that I had taken any hallucinogens in the first place. The way I perceived this and presumably everyone else was doing so was a proof that this was my reality.

I emptied my glass of OJ and continued my pseudo-philosophical thoughts. It was the perfect delicatessen aftermeal for a breakfast such as this. Reality, to begin with, was only an illusion perceived by our senses. Alone, our reality was just comprised by what we can only perceive. We could also say that if each individual reality was a single world, then there could be at least seven billion worlds out there. Then the big question was: how are we even sure that what we are seeing alone is the 'real' one? The answer was to compare our subjective realities with others in order to comprise an objective reality as a whole. Objectivity was the same with normalcy. The majority of the subjective perspectives decides which was real and which was not. So it went that the most numerous ideas and perspectives that were the same was the supposed norm and everything else wasn't.

Let us presume that one day everyone else perceived the sky as red and you were the only person to still see it as blue. Everybody was telling you that since time immemorial that the sky was red. Only you seem to deny this and whatever you do, it remained blue. Like, what the hell? Did the Rayleigh scattering suddenly favored the red color to reflect for others but you still perceive it to be blue? If not, then did the planet's will desired a Martian sky to come forth? Such delusions won't even explain why your reality was different from everyone else's. Even so, the only answer to this phenomenon was that someone's perception went haywired. Which was the more acceptable outcome, though? Everybody except you went mad or only you did? It doesn't matter, for they will take pity upon you and lock you up wearing a straitjacket inside the nearest nuthouse as you continue your rant about blue skies.

At this point in time, I thought that I was the only one remaining who believed in a blue sky. It was metaphorically, of course, but still I kept checking out the window just to be sure. Still blue. That was one consolation, but it was a flimsy one. Kinda like choosing the lesser evil amongst your choices. The incident earlier was maybe a product of a lesser evil and it could've gone better, but in the end it was me who performed the final actions. I was only lucky that my conscience hinged on how other people took my mischief or accidental fuck ups. Fortune smiled upon the bold, with double entendres all intended as Chizuru may have explained the circumstances well to my mother and she accepted it as so. It would seem that Mom trusted Chizuru more than her own flesh-and-blood son. With the choice system suspiciously waiting for the precise moment to pounce and ruin my life, I could sympathize with Mom.

My mother and Chizuru were wrapping up, so it seemed. The rest of their conversation sounded like they were talking about red Martian skies for all that it mattered to me. I felt like my entire reality was overturned by these realizations. But I wouldn't allow myself to end up in an asylum bad ending. I would slowly digest this new reality in front of me, like an amoeba phagocytizing its prey paramecium. Every point of information, and every new parts should be my new reality. The same as others so that there would be no contradictions. But that didn't mean that it was an easy or a joyous event. I wanted to tear up for the loss of my previous reality, sparse as it was.

Instead of bawling in tears and blowing snot into tissues, I was giving in to an old habit which was making notes on my smartphone whenever I thought of something that was remotely profound. Let's see, today was June 26. And the time was 7:32 am. Huh. Was it me, or was I really late for my first period class? Thirty-two minutes late to be exact. I knew that my shower took me an hour or so because of those extra thoughts that I had. Did the hugging incident consume that much time? Repressed sensations from warm hugs bubbled forth like carbonation fizzing from a freshly opened soda straight from the fridge. My face turned red as if a frostbite was induced from that soda thought. My philosophical reverie after breakfast barely lasted five minutes while my shower thoughts lasted for an hour. I knew it was only a weird effect of having a subjective sense of time but discussing the general theory of relativity wasn't a such good idea when I was so fricking late.

"A-chan, what's wrong?"

Chizuru called me out and leaned towards my general direction. Did she notice me silently fidgeting and panicking? Bonus points for her then. An ideal childhood friend. It was the first time she talked to me directly after the incident. She still kept her eyes averted from me like I was some kind of a disgusting creature. A slug, perhaps? No, no, I'm just overthinking it. It wasn't like that. But maybe she was just shy at what happened and she wasn't appalled by me at the least bit.

"Ah... Chizuru..." I still stumbled over her name like some rock that had magically appeared on your familiar path where there used to be no lithified obstructions.

"It's Chi-chan, right?" She adamantly remained firm on this moniker of hers just like earlier.

"C-Chi- chan...", I slowlly rolled that name as if I was tasting a lemony candy. "I'm... no. We are already late. It's past seven thirty already, so we gotta get going and see if we could at least get inside the classroom and.." I was babbling, I knew, for I didn't want the stigma of being late, and I was talking to Chizuru and saying her Japanese nickname out loud and knowing its significance and my lamentation that I haven't truly been with her in our childhood years and -----

She leaned across the table and I stopped my spiel. Half-expecting her to grab my hand and say calming consolations while the other half was already content because she noticed my nervousness, she showed me the screen of her smartphone.

I didn't expect that action coming from her but I guessed that she wanted me to check the contents of her screen. It was a chat group and the messages lined up like it was having a merry discussion. Even though I was only familiar with anonymous message boards online in terms of digital socialization, I could still discern that this was my class' group chat. There was an important information pinned and there were hearts and thumbs up that were accumulating on its lower right corner.

Oh so that's what it was. We had no first period for today because our teacher had to call in sick. Get well soon, sir!

Though I can't help but feel that this was an all-too convenient occurence to happen. Before I was plagued by the Phenomenon, no teacher absenteeism was in place or I would have known such important events. Get a grip, me! I was a bit tense and I tried to loosen myself up.

I was already calming down and Chizuru returned to her previous position. My mother was smiling a Mona Lisa smile at the two of us. She then excused herself to clean the table and wash the dishes. Somehow, a part of my mind was embarassed at her obvious ploy to leave me alone with Chizuru but for the most part was occupied with the current scenario.

"That's why, A-chan, we could take our time today. The next period would be at 9 am so we have more than an hour to relax." She softly said this as if any decibel louder would shatter me. Did I look that panicked earlier for her to use a gentler tone with me? It worked however.

Anyways, that ruckus could have gone better if I was a member of my own class' GC. I thought it was a bother and I had a friend of mine to update me with whatever relevant was going on. Now I see that being a firsthand participant provides you with benefits outweighing its attached hindrances. Still that said friend could've at least messaged me that... I checked my inbox and found out that it was Chizuru who messaged me last night, instead of him. So at this setting it seemed reasonable that my childhood friend was my informant. I could finally see the edges of the game board taking shape and a glimpse of the rules. Hope took root inside me.

Wait.

Chizuru was a part of my class GC, right? Then in this setting, this meant that she was my classmate. Did the Phenomenon extend towards my classroom? How far did its corrupt tendrils reach?

"A-chan, I'm sorry. I thought you knew that we have no first period classes today because I messaged you last night... so I..."

"No... it's not your fault Chizuru. I simply forgot some stuff. Well, a lot of them." To be sure, it was the Phenemenon's fault, but shitty as it was, I have to take responsibility in living here in this warped world.

"Jeez, A-chan... what would you be without me? And call me Chi-chan, next time." She gave me a happy smile and it felt like a dagger twist inside my guts. I never had been so guilty for having a girl smile at me, and that included the 2D experiences.

Not even bothering to formulate a reply, I was already feeling a sinking sense of defeat. There was only one word appropriate to describe this onset of perspective shifts.

Jamais vu.

Its polar opposite, the deja vu, was a well known psychological phenomenon. It was a French loan word that literally meant 'already seen' and it was simply just the illusion of remembering past scenes, when you experience them the first time. Memory was a tricky thing and so it was the case with jamais vu too. French-wise, it meant 'never seen' and it was best described as an eerie feeling of despite having a rational understanding of a scenario's familiarity, nonetheless it still felt like it was your first time experiencing it.

Looking at this small world of mine: my bedroom, the dining room, and probably my school, they were the most familiar things in this world and yet I can't help but feel that this was a stranger's house and life. My mom was still my mom, but it was like the first time that I met her; a constant fixture in my seventeen years of life being reduced as a new furniture.

Ahhh.

There was no need of locking me away in a solitary room inside a psychiatric ward. This jamais vu was isolation enough. What have I done to deserve this anyways? Suddenly, despite my qualms of being late, I wanted to skip school and lock myself up inside my room.

"A-chan, are you okay? Are you not feeling well?"

A pair of worried onyx eyes blinked across me as its owner was fidgeting but resolute in her intentions. For half a heartbeat, I wanted to scream my frustrations out loud and vent my worries towards Chizuru. But luckily, I swallowed it all down like bile rising from my throat. We couldn't afford to be lax and be branded as boy crying out for a phantom wolf now, could we? Even if the said wolf already had its fangs near my throat. Instead, I assuaged her worries and beckoned her to go to school. She never argued back even though it was too damned early, otherwise. We bid farewell to my mother and she was more than thrilled to see the two of us accompany each other. It was just as well for she never noticed my anxiety bubbling forth.

Once en route towards school, I decided that I would not go down easily against this Phenomenon and would fight it to the bitter end. Moping would only provide me nothing, so I had to gather some bravado and information if I am to attain victory. So, I tried to roleplay what would Sherlock Holmes do. Have a Watson. That would be Chizuru. And not so elementary as it was, I tried tackling the Phenomenon.

"A-CHAN DAAAMMEEEEE!!!!" A strong voice and stronger force clutching me in a nelson hold pulled me back into reality and away from certain death. A truck whipped past in front of me and I barely missed my ticket to an isekai trip.

It was a rapid slam into the external world. Little by little, my senses were returning. In front of me was the pedestrian lane and the light for the crossing blaring red. The hubbub of the city and the cute nursery rhyme to indicate a stop sign for those vision impaired rang loudly in my ears. A soft, powdery, lavender scent tickled my nose and I instinctively lowered my eyes. There at my waist, an intertwining porcelain pair of arms held me tight.

Chizuru.

"A-chan, you truly have forgotten about me." Still hugging me at the waist after she pulled me away from walking towards my doom, Chizuru was pouring her heart out. "I believe you when you said that even if I was hoping that it was a joke. But looking in your eyes, I knew that it was true. You saw me as a stranger. You wouldn't call me your osananajimi, in that case, right?"

This isn't my world! I'm not the person you know! I wanted to retort but now I noticed it would be horribly unfair to lash out. I wasn't the only one displaced by this Phenomenon.

"But even so, you haven't changed from the A-chan I knew. You still space out when you are thinking. You babble a lot of words when you are nervous. You tend to forget to keep track of time. And most of all, you are very prone to accidents."

Chizuru was a stranger to me. I wasn't to her. It felt like she knew me down to the very core. If so...

"If our memories of years being together from our childhood means nothing to you, that's fine. Shhh. Don't say anything, A-chan. If you had forgotten about me, that's fine too. All I'm asking is that you would give me the chance to make new memories with you. Ahh... I don't mean anything weird by it.. don't get the wrong idea! I'm saying it as your friend."

Chizuru...

"That's why... I know that something has happened to you and you are bothered with it... I wanted to say that you are not alone. And I wanted to share my strength with you in facing it."

I don't deserve you now, do I? I wasn't A-chan. Though I felt like I wanted to be him even just for a little while.

Choices

1.) Hold Chizuru's hand.

2.) Remove your underwear and wear it as a mask.

I ignored the second choice and anyways I was beyond caring. For the first time in this shitty Phenomenon, I chose a choice with no qualms or embarassment.

I removed myself from her backhug and clasped her hand. I wanted to pour my heart out in return. "Chi-chan, arigatou. It's true that I have forgotten a lot of stuff in this fucked world. Or to be precise, my world is now different from what I knew. I would be lying if I said that I'm not upset with it. I'm not really sure yet of what's happening, but I promise I will tell you everything in due time. I'm not your A-chan that you knew, but I guess even though we aren't childhood friends, we could still make a fresh start as friends."

Chizuru said nothing but her eyes told me all. She was crying and she tried to bury her tears between our connected hands. I was feeling a mix of emotions and it was all coming to a head.

Finally her tears subsided and I have to offer her my clean handkerchief. She took it in a dainty manner befitting her poise. "Can I still call you A-chan?"

"Call me whatever you wish. Just don't add any unneccesary suffixes just like my namesake."

"Hai! I will be in your care then, A-chan!"

She looked so cute and earnest in smiling that I felt like I have triggered a flag or three. My heart felt like accelerating into an unbounded inertia. Calm down, me.

I looked around and noticed that despite our little show, no one noticed us and filmed the whole thing to a video sharing site. It was like whatever that we would do, nobody would care. That's good and all, but has the Phenomenon affected this much? It felt like the invisble fingers of God, softly brushing against my spine.

Goosebumps.

"Let's go, A-chan!" She still grabbed my hand as we crossed the street. As much as the blooming embarassment inside me tried to let go of Chizuru, the compulsion from the choice earlier still had its mark. I hope this wouldn't cause any misunderstandings or whatever.

We made baby steps across the pedestrian lane during the go signal. Just another turn in the corner and my ye olde school would materialize in place. Only when we did so...

There was a row of trees and benches that lined the place as it sloped upwards a gentle hill. It was like having a park on the way towards your school. "This is a joke, isn't it?"

The worst part was the trees. Even though, it wasn't spring and they haven't bloomed yet, I knew what they were. Wrong country, wrong climate and yet here they were.

Sakura trees. Cherry blossoms. And they were leading towards my school. This pathway was an iconic legend in the visual novel niche. It was like having a VN being born in front of your very eyes; the setting, the characters and the whole shebang was invading my entire world. No, probably perhaps I was the invader here.

Deja vu. I have seen this in a visual novel before. Jamais vu. This was my school I go to every weekdays so why did it feel so new? Two inconceivable opposites slammed back forth in my mind and I was almost losing myself in the resulting a----

The warm feeling in my left hand grew hotter. Chizuru. It was her hand clasped in mine. I looked at her.

She mouthed the words: D A I J O B U.

It was alright.

And just like that, the psychological fog from the entire scenario cleared. I had my aegis from such. I haven't replied to her when she told me that she wanted to be my strength, but my resolve was a suitable answer. She was holding my hand. And we walked upwards together.