Friends and Not

It's already 4th period on the first day and Jasper has yet to make me pay for little win this morning.

Not many of our original group joined us at this high school. The only ones who enrolled here are Emily, Brandon and Sage. They may be in our group, but Emily is the only one I have an attachment to. I tell them their my friends, because they expect it. But in actuality, I don't have any friendly intentions or feelings for them. Emily is a different story. She makes me feel, I have an emotional attachment to her. If she ever needed to be bailed out of jail, had no place to live, or needed me, I'd come to her rescue. Jasper on the other hand is different.

Autism has a spectrum. Sociopaths also have a spectrum, but it's not medically recognized. I'm more in the middle, and Jasper is closer to the extreme end. Neither of us feel empathy or any healthy emotions really, but I at least am capable of forming emotional attachments. It's so rare for it to happen, but when it does, I'm viciously possessive of what or who I form an attachment to. It's taken everything I have to keep Jasper from noticing. He'd find too much delight in using that attachment to torture me.

Emily can't afford for me to be careless.

Jasper will call them his friends, but in reality he couldn't give a shit if something bad happened to them. I actually hope he never has offspring, I have a feeling they wouldn't live long enough to see adulthood.

As usual, Jasper and I don't go out of our way to draw new people into the group. We just sit back and let the others do it for us.

Between Emily, Brandon and Sage, they bring 5 new faces to our lunch table.

Emily is a tall, slim blonde with pale blue eyes and a pretty heart shaped face dotted with freckles on her nose. And she brought an equally blonde guy with her. Ronnie has nearly white blonde hair with emerald green eyes, wide full lips and a lantern jaw. He looks like a Viking with a long lanky body. Kinda reminds me of a pro-gamer who never leaves the basement. Even though his skin is fair, not the paleness that comes from not enough hours in the sun. Apparently they met in computer class during first period.

Brandon, being the outgoing social butterfly of our group, has brought in 3 new people. The first girl could pass for his sister. Same mousey brown hair, light brown eyes, sun tanned skin, and Cupid's bow lips as Brandon. I can see her nipple piercing clearly outlined under her button down shirt. Obviously she isn't wearing a bra to support her perky C's. She says her name is Kandy, and made a big deal about her mom thinking it was more classy with a "K" instead of a "C". Oh, yes it is, some names are just prophetic. I can see Jasper trying to hide his grimace besides me. Hmmmm, new material?

The second girl is the polar opposite. Bright ginger hair in crazy corkscrew curls, dark blue eyes surrounded by equally bright ginger eyelashes, and more freckles than I can guess. Seriously, there's so many that they look like giant tan ink blots with a random spot of white skin poking through. I know I shouldn't stare, but I really can't help it. The odd thing is she has a wide nose and wide plump lips. I can't understand why it's bugging me, something just isn't adding up to the structure of her face.

She says in a shy quiet voice, "My name is Tamika, you can just call me Mika."

Tamika? I look a little closer and realize what was bugging me. She's half black. Tight corkscrew curls, the bridge of the nose, the slightly larger nasal passageway, the super plump lips, she kinda resembles Enfys Nest, but Mika's a lot prettier. A black ginger, that striking combo is almost as rare as a natural blonde Chinese woman. Like Connie Chiu, minus the albinoism.

I look at the meat head sitting next to Mika. He's a big Columbian guy, with huge shoulders, puffed out chest and tree trunk arms. Mr. Olympia wannbe. And he really is as dumb as he looks. It's not anything he said, or any gesture he's made, I just know that if I was to sell him ocean front property in Kansas he's totally believe it. Juan definitely has a low IQ.

You'd think Jasper would want to toy and torture the dumb ones, but he just doesn't have the patience to deal with stupid. It's right up there with having to sit next to a toddler throwing a tantrum into the beginning of a six hour flight.

Sage on the other hand brings a girl she met in cooking class. She has the same long, beaded cornrows as Sage, but that's where the similarities end. Sage has a smooth milk chocolate complexion, while Kate has a pock marked face with purplish highlights in her black skin. Really, it's so dark I can't tell if her lips match her face or she puts on goth lipstick to throw you off. It's strange that while Sage has the typical dark brown eyes, Kate's eyes are almost a whiskey color. Of course with her skin it looks closer to gold. She has Daje Barbour's eyes and Khoudia Diop's coloring. I just can't take my eyes off her, and from Jaspers reaction he can't either.

I don't think so Jasper. I'm going to get to her first, and I'm not going to share.

It's not the first time we've competed over a girl, but it's not the first time I've had to convince a straight chick to experiment a little. For whatever reason, girls are more open and willing to try than a guy would. Jasper on the other hand, he'll seduce guys if he thinks he'll get something out of it, but he'll never be on the bottom. Because in the end, he's not interested in sex with them, it's just fastest way to get what he wants. Although, Jaspers not a girl, so I'm not sure how he fakes enough excitement to get an erection, let alone keep it.

We don't really want a group, but being loners is a really fast way to get signaled out. And any slip ups we have are easier to hide in a group setting.

"So what's your name cutie pie?" The idiot asks me.

I can't stop my cringe. Great, Juan also thinks he's a Lothario.

I feel a hand with a crushing grip on my thigh. I look at Jasper out of the corner of my eye. If someone was to look at him, they'd see a empty, disinterested expression. But I'm not just someone, for him that's the equivalent of a death glare.

Jasper does get possessive, but for very different reasons. He can't form emotional attachments like I can, but he can be very obsessive and fixated on the certain infatuations he does develop. There won't be any care or love, not even monogamy, but when he focuses his natural intensity on them it can be extremely intense. However the infatuation with them is always short lived. As far as I know, his infatuation with me in particular has never faded in the 5-years since we met. And he's progressively gotten more territorial with every man that's shown interest.

"You can just call me Nim. Besides the only one who can call me cutie pie is your sister. Is she hot?" I said with a sugary sweet and condescending voice.

The newbies stop everything they're doing and look at me. Juan just looks gobsmacked with him mouth gaping like a fish out of water. Too soon for the sexuality talk?

Besides, I'm not going to tell them my name is Nymphidora. If lothario over there calls me Nympth I know Jasper is going to go ape shit. I think he's even more possessive of his pet name for me than he is over my body.

I don't know what's going on today, but Jasper has more of a hair trigger temper than usual. And Juans not smart enough to notice the land mines let alone avoid them.

"Are you a dyke?!" And how did I know Ronnie the Viking was gonna ask that?

Just to mess with him I asked with the most confused and innocent expression I could pull together, "What's a dyke?"

It's not hard. I've been told I look like a delicate, doe-eyed fairy, personally I don't see it, but it does have its uses.

The look on their faces.

Equal parts shock, embarrassment, and distressed mortification. I knew exactly what I was doing. While Jasper doesn't have a sense of humor, mine can be considered peculiar at best.

Emily, the sweet, let's get along with everyone, girl that she is, says, "It's okay! Nim just thinks that gender is so limiting! After all what if you spend all your time with guys and end up missing your soul mate just because she happens to be a girl?! It would be just tragic! Right Nim?"

I try so hard to hide my thoughts on the soul mate crap. I might have told her gender was limiting, even though I just don't specifically care for one over the other, but I would never say soul mates! Although Em's always been the romantic type, so I dont think she can help it.

I can see Kate, Brandon, Sage and Jasper all giving me incredulous looks. Apparently they can't believe destined love crap would come out of my mouth either.

The same can not be said for Ronnie, Juan and Kandy. Why am I not surprised that they would be the ones to believe that of me?

I give Emily my practiced pissed off look, which kinda looks like a angry kewpie doll, but my real one isn't for public consumption. It looks deranged and demonically possessed. I tell her point blank, in my dead pan voice, "Never did I say soul mate. You know full well that doesn't exist. Lust at first sight does, but not love."

Emily looks absolutely crushed. I might have an attachment to her, but I don't possess the ability to emphasize. The closest I can get is pity. However she considers me to be her best friend, and if I don't start looking chagrined soon, I'm going to have to babysit her emotions till her feelings stop hurting. It's really a headache to deal with.

I put on my best sad, I'm so sorry expression and say, "I didn't mean it Em! I know you'll meet your true love and make a huge family! We'll even carpool ours kids to soccer practice together! You know I just don't think I'll ever find it!"

I don't think that at all. I hate soccer and don't want kids either. But I know it will pacify Emily and calm her down.

Jasper grins. I know why he's grinning, but the others undoubtedly think he's picturing a happy family future.

I inwardly snort. He's most likely thinking about the pure hell that'd be for me and how he could achieve making it happen.

And just like that the conversation and atmosphere at the table picks up.

Soon after the bell rings signaling the end of our lunch break.