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somewhere in our heart, between the deep valleys of grief and happiness, of hostility and harmony openly stands bridges

Sapphire's pov

It's so late about 9pm and I'm not yet home, i would have gotten home earlier but Lisa had to delay me with all her chitchat and gossip, she loves talking about what happens in others life's with the newest latest gossip everyone's talking about, I wouldn't blame her though she's always been the jovial type that's why she's my closest friend, my best friend i'd say .

Gosh i have to rush home in time mom hates when i come home late, and i don't want to upset her or make her mad about it, i just had to buy a few groceries, we needed some at home, ever since dad died things haven't been that easy for us its been hard but we are still going to make it through especially now that i got admitted in the university i applied for.

Which is Washington State University to study Economics and i cant wait to start.

I open the front door to the house

I know mom will be worried, i just hope she is going to hear the explanation i have to give her and that she would believe me.

I approach her bedroom to look for her and apologise. "mom" i yell, but she didn't reply .

The scent of alcohol is all over the house, my mom has a drinking problem and it makes me so worried about her, ever since dad died she became emotionally depressed and didn't care about me, she never did even when dad was alive he was the only one who cared about me mom never did, she'd always say she had me out of wedlock .

Mom comes out of the room and approaches me with a bottle of beer at one side of her hand with the level of how she drinks it could be her third or fourth bottle already which means she's already drunk.

"where have you been you brat?, I've told you i don't like night comings its not safe i already have a lot of problems as it is and i don't need you adding to it."

She always calls me a brat, I'm already used to it i guess its like her nickname for me.

"mom I'm sorry Lisa had to show me a few guidelines about our admission in Washington University, especially since i had it through my scholarship, that's what kept me out late I'm sorry mom, i didn't mean to upset you i bought some groceries for the house by the way"

Knowing my mom she was not going to believe me, she always thought the worst about me like she never believed i could do anything good.

" You brat , you think ill believe your excuse don't lie to me, you were with a guy I'm i right?"

Mom always accused me of things i didn't do, and i always get offended about it, but i defend myself.

"mom no, I've told you a thousand times i don't have a boyfriend, and i wouldn't have one now i already have a lot on my plate . Besides why are you drinking again? Its not good for you, mom dad's gone already you cant bring him back its been 8 years now since he left us, for how long would you torment and torture yourself? Mom you have me, I love you very much and i don't want anything bad happening to you"

She didn't even feel remorse all she ever thought about was dad but never her daughter.

And she keeps on yelling at me,

"why don't you just shut up?, what do you know about your father, i loved him very much with all my heart he is the only person i have ever loved and death took him away from me"

Tears drop drown from her eyes and i feel so sad and shattered that she doesn't acknowledge my presence or the love i have for her even though i'm her daughter.

"But mom i'm here and i love you,

i will always be here for you and take care of you, but it seems none of my emotions matter to you sometimes i cant help but to think about why your always so mean to me. Do you even love me at all? Even for just a bit?

Mom why are you doing this to me? It hurts so much to see you like this, mom i need you in my life".

I cry so hard because my mom has always been like this ever since dad died, she doesn't even feel remorseful and she yells back..

"Love you?, i don't even love you i just had you out of wedlock you are one of the reasons my life turned out this way, i don't love you and i never will.."

I feel so hurt hearing this "but mom" i keep on sobbing.

"I would have aborted you 18 years ago when i had the chance, but your father wouldn't let me he threatened he would leave me if i did, and i loved him too much that's why i kept you, my parents threw me out of the house when they found out i was pregnant, i couldn't finish my studies, i had to drop out, and your dad being the gentle, caring, and loving man that he is, tried supporting me anyhow he could.

We lived together and then i had you, if you were not in my life, i would have a better life now, a life different from all this, without you in my life"

she takes another gulp of beer.

" mom just stop your drunk that's why you say all this, and it hurts to hear all of this from my mother"

She didn't stop but kept on yelling.

" Just leave, i don't want to see your face, and i don't need you, even if i wasn't drunk i would say everything I'm saying right now without regrets and I'd even say much more, now get out and leave me because the only person i ever loved was your dad and no one else"..