CHAPTER 24 (2)
Confusion of their feelings -2.
“Well, here’s the address.” He grabbed some paper and he wrote the exact location and address where she’s living. So I quickly hurried to grab the paper away from him and I patted his back and I smiled at him, “Thanks a lot.”
I quickly hurried towards my car and drive. It wasn’t that traffic so I managed to arrive where she is. She was walking around their village and she was just wearing her simple clothes. The usual clothes that she was wearing. She even wore glasses yet she still looked so pretty. It will not change.
I got closer to her to approached her but she acted as if she didn’t even see me. I coughed a bit and I sighed, “So, how long are you going to avoid me? You just left without even saying anything to me.”
“Chang—I mean, Intern Accountant!? Why are you here!?” She turned to me and she looked so surprised when she saw me.
“Why, you ask? I asked Oliver. He told me that you’re here so I came here to see you.” I said to her
She frowns a bit and she hisses, “That himedanshi! Even though I told him not to say where I stay at, damn him..”
She took a deep breath and she was surprised when I tried getting closer to her and she accidentally let go of her papers, those paper that was full of sketches of me. I don’t want to say this but I guess I have to say this for her not to go. It’s driving me crazy when she chooses to go just like that. I won’t let her forget about me like that. If I have to fight my dad for her then I will do it. But for her to choose to let go of what we have...I just can’t do that.
“Don’t burn it! I’ve been reading your works lately, to understand you better so please don’t do that! Isn’t that important to you!?” I shouted at her and she stopped for a while and she laughed at me loudly. Damn her. You know that this is embarrassing. I’m not literally into those, okay!? She has a lot of nerve to laugh at me in this kind of situation? I don’t understand her. She’s insulting me. It’s not like I’m interested in BL or anything, It just happened that I have some time so I tried reading her works. Even though I feel off whenever I see my face on the comic that she’s making. Those expressions, I don’t look like that at all! Whatever, I don’t want to fight with her about this. It was my fault in the first place why we ended up having a misunderstanding.
“I’m not going to throw it away. Who gives you the idea that I would throw it? I was just looking for new ideas and inspiration to write. And please, can you just go? Why did you have to be here? Your fiancee might get mad if she sees you with me. So, I’ll go now..” Satsuki said and she picked up her things and she quickly avoided me. Am I like a shadow to her? Someone that she can’t see? Can’t she see my presence at all? She didn’t even bother to look at me as I was some kind of air or what. She’s always like this. She hasn’t changed. She’d never see me huh? That hurts a lot. Why can’t she see that I liked her!
We didn’t even talk that much. But I can’t let this happen. I won’t go back until I clear everything to her that I’m in love with her.
“I need you. So please come back to me, please?” I told her and I gripped my fist and I bowed down to her. I don’t know how I can make her come back to my side but I will never give up. I just can’t let her be gone just like that. She’s my greatest downfall, the girl who’s my match. I haven’t felt this again, but now that I found the girl that I love..do you expect me that I should give up my feelings to her that easily?
“Don’t do this. I’m begging you..” She sighed deeply and Satsuki keep on avoiding me until we came into the mansion. But before she even escaped me, I decided to go in front of her to stop her.
I grabbed her arms and I looked at her seriously, “I can’t let go of you. Do you think that you’re the only one who’s hurting by all of this, huh?” I asked her. I was also in pain. I know that we only had our deal but I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She’s the only one that I could think of. Call me crazy but maybe yeah, I might be crazy then.
“I don’t know! I’m so confused about what I should feel about this!” She shouted at me and she cried. I decided to step back and I let go of her. Come on, don’t start crying like that. If you cry like that, how am I supposed to persuade you then? What was the meaning that I was even here? It’s even pointless to think anyways. I don’t even know what I should think. I rubbed my hair and I sighed deeply. She’s the only girl that I can be like this. Her words might be harsh right but there’s no way that I can give up now.
Now that I know what she feels for me. From what she’s saying right now, she likes me too right? I can’t believe it. But if it’s the truth, then I want to know the truth from her. If she like me or not, then I want to know if she’s really in love with me.Am I being too much? I just wanted to tell her the truth. That’s the reason why I even came here. Because I can’t just figure out what she feels. That she suddenly wanted to give up like that. And from what she’s doing, she’s indeed hurting me. Maybe I just existed to hurt other people’s feelings. And right now, I can feel that Satsuki was too far away from me even if she’s just beside me. Why does love have to be this complicated, huh?
I deserve to know the truth. That’s why I got closer to her and I hugged her tight. I can almost see that she was too surprised by my actions. I can feel her heart beating faster than before. I wanted to hear this. I wanted her to tell me that she liked me. I know that I’m being a tease but I wanted to know the truth from her. I held her face and I grabbed her close to me and pulled her closer to me and looked at her seriously, “Satsuki, do you love me?”