Life

Fast forward to senior year of high school....I'm an overly sensitive person, If someone walks past me and says I'm funny looking, I cry about it for a week! Anyway ...One interesting thing about quiet people is due to the fact, we're not talking, we're always listening and observing things with our eyes. It's as If my senses have been heightened. So no matter how quietly you think your speaking, trust me when I say, I can hear you! While I was In my history class I heard this group of girls talking about me and surprisingly Nelly was among them. The things they were saying about me were so nasty, that I don't want to repeat their words. Because every time, I even think about it, a piece of my soul dies.

Nelly didn't necessarily contribute with words. But she did do that bullshit "that's so mean" -mean girl laugh. Which honestly is not helpful and pisses me off! I don't understand why people hate me so much. Maybe it's my fault, maybe I should change myself for them, so they will like me better! I hate this feeling of worthlessness. The feeling of feeling like your fate is set in stone. I just wish that God could deliver me from this demon of shyness, because then maybe people would finally love me. Because of shyness, I missed out on so many opportunities, I missed out on life and love. And all because of the extreme fear of rejection. My mind started to go to a destructive place and I began to fall into a deep depression. If I just had one friend maybe, this person could have saved me from myself. As the day went by, I Couldn't focus on the rest of my classes.

The depression took hold of me so much that, I'm pretty sure I failed all of my exams today! It was the last class of the day. In my last period math class, I sit two seats behind my crush, Davey King. I like him so much, but I'm too nervous and too shy to talk to him. Today happens to be the day we change the class seating for the new quarter. My heart started to beat really fast because I didn't want to be seated next to a bully. To my surprise, the teacher moved Davey's seat right next to me! I was freaking out inside, though I doubt he noticed.

My pencil accidentally rolled off my desk and Davey picked it up and said: "I think you dropped this." As he handed it back to me, my hand accidentally touched his hand.

I was so happy, that It's as if all the bad things in my head disappeared and was replaced with blissful happiness. I was stupidly yelling in my head. He touched me! He touched me! Then... He talked to me! He talked to me! When class was over, I saw Davey run outside to a girl that was waiting for him. He then... he then..... he then .....Kissed her. When I saw that my heart broke in half. The bad thoughts that tear me down, began to come back. And they told me: you're so stupid! Why are you so upset? What did you expect? A mouse girl like you could never be with him! He doesn't even know your name 😌. He would have never gone out with a worthless girl like you anyway. I was ridiculously suffering in silence and Davey didn't even know. No... more like the world didn't care. The funniest thing is that, when all of this was going through my head, I had the biggest smile on my face 😁.

♥️End of Chapter Two♥