Not Eva

Freya

I could feel my body start to feel very cold, though I knew I was warm, I could feel Mikeal's arms holding me but it didn't stop my insides from feeling like I was internally ice. Keeping my eyes closed I could feel something sliding through me from my toes to the top of my head, it didn't feel foreign, it felt like it had always been there.

"Don't be afraid Freya, we are where we need to be." I could hear the elegant voice from my dreams echoing in my ears though it seemed to be coming from inside my body. I tried to speak back, tried to ask questions about who it was, am I crazy, what does it mean where we need to be? I couldn't move as the icy feeling took over my limbs rendering me motionless.

"You must write the story." The voice whispered as I shuddered a little. "You need to connect with him deeper, but not as Eva, as Freya, I'm gone Freya. Make them think only of you." Her words were so confusing, I had no idea what she was talking about. I've never been Eva, as I thought that flashes from the theater came into my mind remembering the story that was unfolding in front of me, watching how the main characters began to fall in love, the pain and sorrow each had gone through.

"Freya, give him everything, he will protect you, he will guide you, like he did me. Use your craft to write our story. I was so scared, I wasted so much time, it was all pointless in the end." Her voice sounded so sad, so much sorrow erupting through my body as I felt a severe pain coursing through my groin and the thought of my first dream of being stabbed to death while I was pregnant came back flooding my thoughts. That was her, it was Eva, did she mean she wasted time being scared before giving herself to him. How would she know if it would have been different if she had given himself to her right away? Maybe I'm just going crazy after witnessing what I did, there was no way everyone but us were frozen like that, there was no way they were to me that fast to catch me falling in mid air. I had to be losing my mind, because now I have a voice from my dream talking to me, freezing my body into place so I couldn't move. It had to be all in my head, my imagination has always been very big, but what if was real? What did Brianna mean by 'hot demon men'? This voice wants me to give myself fully to Mikeal, to write the story of his past into my comics, but it didn't rectify what was going on, it didn't explain anything to me. Demons weren't real though. Slowly I felt my body begin to warm as Mikeal's face hazily came into view and I could feel him laying me onto my bed, he looked concerned and I felt so guilty to make him feel that way again, and again. Breathing in deeply I tried to will myself awake again, I needed to move, as I suddenly felt claustrophobic which is usually the complete opposite of what I actually feel. Then my body was just let go, she had disappeared from me again and I quickly sat up just as Mikeal was leaving my room. Looking at him I felt a new form of heat rise up in my body as I swallowed the saliva building up in my mouth, he was every woman's dream bad boy and in a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up with a bow tie no longer in the collar of the shirt but around his neck, buttons undone on his shirt, leather jacket hanging from his left hand. This man could make women pregnant by just looking at them. I took a deep breath in before I spoke to try and get him to stop.

"I guess I should really stop fainting on you eh? I promise I'm not usually this weak, or useless. It's not really a great impression for me to give my first boyfriend heh." I tried to joke as I ran my fingers through a little bit of my hair on the side of my head before scratching it slightly. Mikeal looked back at me with a grin, his hair was messy and fully covering his left eye now as he leaned against my door staring at me.

"I know you aint my little lamb. I fear the day when you truly believe that and those who have hurt you and Eva will come to pay for it." His voice was raspier than usually, deeper and more succulent. Hearing the woman's name though I looked up at him.

"I'm not Eva, Mikeal, you know that right?" I spoke quietly almost ashamed and somewhat upset. What if he had been with me this whole time because he was hoping that I truly was Eva just waiting to be awoken. Well tough luck there bud, she's been awakened and she isn't me, I'm just Freya. Mikeal pushed himself off the door and walked to me crawling across my bed forcing me to lay back and stare up at him as he straddled me carefully placing a hand under my chin while grinning.

"Oh I know my chubby little lamb. You're my Freya, my fiance, my chubby little lamb, you're mine. Eva and you are the same, but not one. You are you even if you look like her." He whispered it into my face before he leaned down and started kissing my cheeks and lips gently with little pecks.

"But it doesn't stop me from wanting you any less, or acknowledging how much strength and power you'll have." His last words made me stiffen a bit as they seemed a little weird to me.

"What do you mean Mikeal?" I whispered back at him trying to hold back the involuntary sounds my body wanted to make from being in this position combined with his kisses.

"You will find out, after you truly trust me little one." He climbed off of me bringing me up to sitting position again while he just looked me over licking his top lip. A shimmer of lust crossed his eyes as he kept staring at me causing me to flush red from the embarrassment. He grinned at me before he brought my chin up again to face him.

"First boyfriend? First fiance then too." He kissed my lips gently before pulling away. "Now that makes me feel very special." The lust was almost swallowing his eyes before he closed them bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose.

"I'll let you shower and get changed." With that he walked out of my room and I was left alone with my thoughts. This voice in me, Eva, she loved him and she feels my feelings heading the same way. I wonder if that's why she's here all of a sudden. He truly was taking my heart, he was so patient with my fainting and blacking out, and even if he did scare me he never treated me poorly or tried to force things too far with me. Thinking of the one time he did try to force things but stopped because my fat ass blacked out, I couldn't help but feel my panties begin to dampen a bit more than they already were from him straddling me. Sighing I stood up while undressing myself slowly thinking about how much I truly needed a shower right now. I smiled at myself and decided as I walked into the bathroom that I would stop doubting that Mikeal wanted me. I needed to get back into being me, not this weak pathetic girl that I am right now, blacking out and second guessing myself. Nancy and my stepmother are the only ones that I constantly just follow orders from because they have opportunities to make my life hell as my so called family. If the other part of me wanted him and trusted him, then I would too, it's time to let go of the past and look at this future. I smiled looking at my chubby plump body in the mirror, though I didn't like it I also didn't despise it. I kept the negative comments away as I quickly turned on the shower and hopped into it allowing my body to be engulfed by the steam and relax under the harsh stream coming from the shower head.