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My Consort Has Gone Mad!

Before entering the body of Imperial Consort Pan Yu Mei, Ju Ming only remembered three things from her old life; how to make sleeping pills, love pills and fragrant pouches. Her once carefree life roaming the city came to an end. Died by accident, now stuck in the body of the unfavored consort. Ju Ming strives to live to the fullest. A woman who cared more about food than her husband. Not paying him any attention will only attract his attention. What happens when a carefree and simple girl meets the handsome but cold prince. *First time attempt at light, fluffy and slightly humorous* Picture taken from: https://www.pinterest.se/pin/339740365620600461/

Lotuspalm · History
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135 Chs

I'm Ju Ming

Sitting in a small teashop on the second floor were the once master and disciple. The old man stroked his beard and squint his eyes at Yu Mei. [Little girl, what are you playing at? Don't test me…] He mentally warned her.

It was as if she could read him. She too replied back the same way. A light sparkle showed through her eyes as she playfully smiled. [Yes. As a matter of fact, you can never get rid of me. I am like an annoying flee you can't get rid of.]

The old man's eye twitched from frustration. [WHAT! You want to play against me? Fine.]

[We could play this all day.] Yu Mei arched a brow, daring him.

Suddenly the old man got up and slammed his palm harshly on the table. "That's enough! Stop bothering me!"

A short moment of silence…

"I…I only came to fill your waters. Sorry sir. Sorry. I'll leave you two alone then." The young waiter carrying a tray of water stood there pale, unable to figure out what he had done wrong. He had just entered a few seconds ago and was already getting yelled at. He took a step back and ran out.

Old Man Wu put his hand on his forehead; both from embarrassment and frustration. Yu Mei on the other hand almost burst out in laughter. "Shifu, it's not like you to yell at people like that. You should definitely go apologize." She hovered her body towards the table to make such a suggestion.

The man gave her a deathly glare. "Who says I am your master!" He corrected.

She had forgotten a few seconds ago that she was no longer Ju Ming but Yu Mei.

*Hehehe* She cupped both her hands together. "Please take me in as your student. I promise to do everything you say. Just PLEASEEEE take me." Yu Mei stood up and walked behind him. Before he could protest, she had her elbow on his back kneading it slowly. "What if I massage you everyday? Everyone knows that you've always had a bad back." She added cheerfully.

This once again caused confusion in him. His bad back? Everyone knew about it? What nonsense! Only a handful of people knew. So how in the world did this little girl know?

The old man stroked his beard. This little massage of hers almost won him over. It was such a familiar feeling but he could not put his tongue on it.

"Stop it. Stop it! I don't need your massages." Before she could win him over, he stopped her. "Everyone knows I am a lone wanderer. No matter what you do, I refuse to take a student." He quickly shooed her away.

Yu Mei took a step back and to the right to face the now perplexed old man.

Tears.

Yu Mei would use her tears and sob story to soften the old man. She quickly wiped a "tear" in her eye as she pitifully looked at him.

"Before my parents passed away, they told me about Master Wu. How generous and compassionate of a person he was to use his expensive herbs to cure their sickness. Their dying words to me was to find you and become your disciple. But now I see that I will not be able to fulfill their last wish. I apologize for any inconvenience I have caused you." She sniffed before taking a step towards the door.

Old Man Wu closed his eye and sighed. "Give me a night to think about it."

A smirk appeared on Yu Mei's face. It wasn't an exact "I'll accept you but this was the closest she would get for now.

***

Morning couldn't have come any sooner. The first thing Yu Mei did when she got up was knock on the next door. "Shifu! Shifu!" she knocked a few more times.

No answer.

A frown appeared on her cute face. [Damn it old man! You really left without me.]

She quickly paced down the stairs. When she got down to the door entrance, she looked to the right and then the left. He was nowhere in sight. Yu Mei sighed anxiously. [Think! Think! Think! Where would the old man be at this time of day.]

Moments later, it clicked to her.

Before she knew it, her little feet led her to the pharmaceutical. She leaned her body on the wall of the shop and crossed her hands as she patiently waited. A few minutes later, he really did show up. She had predicted correctly. The old man needed to trade his herbs and medicine for travelling money.

The moment his foot stepped out of the door, two fingers pinched tightly onto his arm sleeve.

*Ahem* she coughed.

He didn't need to turn to know it was her.

***

Once again, the two were sitting face to face in the same eating area as yesterday's meeting. This time, Yu Mei was crossing her arms. She was ready to interrogate the man. Old Man Wu on the other hand sat there with a guilty conscious. He had not intended to run off but knew his journey would not be easy for such a fragile looking woman. And he did not have the heart to shoo her away after that story.

It only took a few minutes for him to explain his whole thinking to Yu Mei. Yu Mei had forgotten how thoughtful her master could be at times. After all, she heard more of his scolding than anything. Time was ticking and he was not budging one inch.

Today was the day he would head over to the palace to bribe Prince Shao for his blood jade. And he would stay for a few days. She really didn't have the time or patience to stay another few days. She never thought it would come down to this.

Her wild card.

Yu Mei pulled out the blood jade and set it on the table. Old Man Wu's eyes widened. The man tried not to look so anxious as he poured himself another cup of tea. He took the cup to his lip and slowly drank it.

"I'm Ju Ming."

*Puuuuuh* The tea in his mouth shot out like a sprinkler. He coughed a few times before angrily staring at her. "You…You! How dare you use my disciple's name like that?" He began to scold her.

"But I really am." She countered. She then pushed the jade to his side. "I don't know how to explain it but I really am."

"I won't listen to any more of your nonsense!" He quickly shot up to leave.

"You need the phoenix blood in this jade to make your longevity pill. Your whole purpose of coming to the city was to seek out Prince Shao. Only Ju Ming would know this." She blurted out.

No matter how much he wanted to move, he couldn't. A cold chill spread throughout his entire body. It was true. This secret was only known by his disciple Ju Ming. Not that he told her but that troublesome kid had gone through his books and found out.

Things were getting weirder and weirder by the moment. He stared at her. She did not look familiar at all. So it didn't make sense how she came to know this secret. Especially since he and his disciple had never been to this city before.

He needed to know.

"Who are you?" his voice shook desperately.

Yu Mei stood up and with teary eyes, she called out to him. "Shifu, it's really me. I know it sounds crazy but it's really me, Ju Ming."

He shook his head as if telling himself this was impossible.

"You took me in as a student at the age of 10 after my parents died from a plague in the village of Nan An. The scar from your left hand was caused when I was 12 after I slipped down the mountain. You had scrapped it while fetching me. You are allergic to shrimp and I had bought you a shrimp dumpling once. You're the only person who knows that I am Beauty Chen. And the one time…"

He held out this hand. "STOP!"

She blinked. Did he not believe her.

"This makes no sense. How can you possibly be my disciple Ju Ming?"

"I don't know how to tell you either. All I know is that I am from the future. I was sixteen when I fell to my death and then I somehow traveled two years back to the present me right now."

This was all too much to take in. Old Man Wu slumped into his chair. "I can't accept this. This is crazy!" He told her honestly. She expected him to believe that the girl in front of him was sixteen year old Ju Ming? Not possible. Ju Ming was only fourteen this year.

After listening to Yu Mei explain some more, he finally understood what happened. Or at least what he believed happened.

It only occurred to Yu Mei that Ju Ming was not here now. "Shifu, where is young me?"

He shook his head.

Yu Mei listened to her master explain that Ju Ming passed away about half a year ago. Around the same time she came to be in the body of Consort Pan Yu Mei. Although Yu Mei was sad, she understood. To have two of the same soul existing in one dimension was beyond possible.

The two sat there talking about the chain of events that occurred before they finally gave up on finding a reasonable explanation.

Before leaving, Yu Mei watched as Old Man Wu stingily grabbed the blood jade off the table. "I'll be taking this." He waved it before putting it in his sleeve.

"Does that mean you won't be going to the palace anymore?" She asked hopefully.

"Do I have reason to go? Unless you want to visit the palace. I know you have always wanted to visit." he added.

Yu Mei quickly shook her head no. No way was she going back.

"Are you sure?" he asked once more. As a young teen she always talked about wanting to live lavishly in a grand palace. And he knew that. This was her only chance. If only he knew who she was in this life, he would never have asked.

"NO! I would rather wander the world now than to visit the palace."

Old Man Wu arched a brow. His little disciple had really changed. "If that's the case, we should be heading out."

Yu Mei happily pranced behind her master along the busy streets.

She couldn't wait to leave.

Sorry guys for the long wait. Life happens and I had to put the story on hold.

Idk if this chapter is a little confusing or not. Reread it a few times and it still sounded a little confusing. The dates and age might be off but don't mind it too much. I tried, lol.

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