Awaken and frightened and perplexed

I woke up I came to back to life I felt clammy and cold as if I always had that warm over me which I literally did and I was not happy with my situation I was too weak to get myself dressed so I sling myself in the bed I slept myself in the bed naked and I was scared shit less I don't didn't have a shower today because I was too busy helping people or reading or writing. I am not proud that I am in my own bed naked and feeling like a pile of crap, and then I might have another passing out moment again and God knows if I pass out in my my sleep or by my condition whatever it is that I will die so I stayed up all night writing this book and learning about and not getting too far about visions in Islam when you are visited by à la Oro and our decides he's going to take you up to having to talk to you it was not a very easy search online I look like a complete buffoon while feeling like death had warmed over me literally.  

I still remember the fact that I can remember photogenically know if the old man figure but also but the field of flowers and wildflowers it was a pleasing sorry I still have it in my mind I am I going to go to heaven if I forget my mother am I going to be purified if I forgive my mother. So I will do so I will be blessed and she will be too she will be saved from the amazing of a forgive her and I will be also purified of my sins as well. I found out that I actually didn't mind me being LGBTQ I said he admitted he made me that way for a reason. We are all made the way we are for a reason or we all lock or shaped the way we are for a reason and a purpose in life I still am wondering what my stance in the world is I know it's against terrorism and for Islam and peace. And acceptance. But I am not too sure careerwise purpose wise what I am to do.

A few weeks ago I discovered nail art and nail polish and had a blast doing my own nails today I did my friends nails for 10 bucks and I was able to put away some money for an iTunes gift card and for my tattoos even though the Religious zealot say that tattoos are not allowed in Islam but who really created a tattoowere  tattoos the Uighur people, my people.. So let's just face it.  

So I got tattoos to and down my body I had had a vision when I was younger to decorate myself not by piercings but buy tattoos like my ancestors before Islam and even during Islam. Show me you might think that I don't know shit but I do because I'm actually I actually read my stuff and do my homework and everything and I have been expected to forgive my mother but I'm still in this week and stayed in my bed awake at night still wondering what the hell am I Might do for the rest of the night because I am bored stiff when I'm finish this book. It's gotten to the point where I actually said that I'll forgive my mother just returned my body but also to reap the rewards emotionally mentally and spiritually plus it'll help my mother feel better about yourself. What is something I want it in the first place she has already lost everything her opals, something that she wish for me to have legally even though she was still alive. Only to find out that Canada restoration services has stolen them. I am not too happy about Canada restoration services they're a bunch of thieves and as far as what Musta had said thou shall not steal you get your hand cut off in some countries but I am in Canada and I'm at peace loving person and a horrible ass person so I do not believe in cutting off hand but the thou shall not steal.   I am still steamed about what happened to my mothers old balls not because I wanted them but because she wanted me to have them and I would've made her happy. So I ended up creating a tattoo instead that would be more permanent than sound silly rang. It's an unfortunate thing that happened but I have to bend it and submit to the will of Allah.

As I said I'm still in my bed I'm in my birthday suit and I am pretty much I got a queasy stomach right now and I am really upset that I actually met my maker but I also met allah well and that's why it's important. Not very many people get these versions whether they are near death like what I just had tonight or through a dream Benign dream.   He's kind of versions were you actually meet God wow are y'all away in Orchestra or anyone else for that matter whatever the name is in for my case it is Allah was the fact that I was to help people and forgive people. I am going to be a nail technician and a hairdresser and best selling author but I am going to also go back to school one day to do something more meaningful with my life as is my promise to Allah.

It was unfortunate that I destroyed a perfectly good pair of jeans trying to get to the bathroom on time and then passing out when I'm not even drunk or high to begin with I don't even believe in drinking and drugs and smoking so why the hell did I pass out twice it was because I had a message that I had to receive and I had received from Allah himself.   It would be I would say a wake up call that I already had when I went to emergency room for piercing my medusa and nearly dying from that I don't know what caused my double pass out I'm going to have to tell the workers at my house what about what happened and I am not to get up so quickly even if I have to go pee so badly I can taste it sorry for the Earthy language.    But this really did happen.